Wushu: After the End [OOC] This is the True End

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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Geomancer » Sun May 15, 2011 2:25 pm

Name:Joseph Maxwell
Concept: Chaotic nihilist and orderly creator
Gender: Male
Age: 21

Appearance: Joesph's appearance is as strange as his philosophy. His hair has been dyed black on his left side and white on his right. The hair on his left is perfectly straight and neat while the white hair is spiked using gel. The changes between the two are not gradual. It is if he used a straightedge. His eyes have been colored, just like his hair. Both have been changed into a half of the 'yin-yang' symbol. He wears a neat black suit with tattered elbows and knees. Despite the tears, he still wears a black tie and has a white handkerchief in his pocket. He keeps sunglasses tucked in next to the handkerchief. When he activates his abilities, he wears those sunglasses which have been modified to darken in response to bright light, including flashbangs and the such.

Trait 5: Nothing is Forever

From his point of view, everything has its time. Empires fall, ideas are forgotten, people die. It has to happen or the world falls apart. However, at the same time, nothing should end before its time. That means you should avoid destruction as much as possible. Things will fall when it is time. Joseph is sometimes very fickle with this when deciding when it is time but he holds to the general idea. In his mind, Cytek has been around long enough.


Trait 4: Absolute Dissolution and Perfect Creation

When Joseph sees something that obstructs him, he may use this power. Just by touching something, he 'infects' it with the element of destruction. It begins to fall apart, by different means. Living things rot, metal rusts, computers suddenly develop deadly bugs in the code, and food becomes toxic. He does not use this to kill, he uses this to destroy, a different way of thinking. There can be no malice in his actions. When he uses this ability, his eyes turn black with white pupils and to activate it, he must clasp his hands but reversed, as if praying but doing it wrong.

When Joseph sees a void that needs to be filled with something, he creates the perfect item, literally. Whenever he uses this ability, the item could only be described as perfect. If it is a sword, it will be unbelievably sharp, absolutely balanced, comfortable to hold, and simple to wield. Unfortunately, it will never be a sword. This ability can only be used to create an item that is to be used to create, not to destroy. When he uses this ability, both of his eyes turn white with black pupils. When he uses this ability, he holds both hands out, palms showing, and moves his fingers as if manipulating the mysterious forces he uses.


Trait 3: Runner

Despite his lack of constitution, Joseph can book it when he needs to. He can't run for very long but he can run fast for those 10 seconds. He is also pretty agile when he needs to be.


Trait 1: Total Weakling

Joseph is not a person who you would want in any kind of physical contest. His studies and general lack of interest has left him with a poor constitution and very little strength. However, it has not affected his agility.


Extra Trait: To be decided

Chi: 3/3

Personality: Joseph usually has no self-control. He'll see something that is unneeded and wander over to take it apart or notice something that needs to exist and create it right then and there. He can keep his thought train from derailing but it takes something of great importance. Fortunately, considering his situation, he is surrounded by things of great importance. What he really likes seeing is things distinguishing and things forming out of little. It is the flow of the universe, after all, and he is just doing his part to speed the whole process up. This world they are living in has existed for too long and the world outside has been decayed for too long. They both need to continue in the cycle and Joseph is going to make sure that happen. One of his personal quotes is "If you are going to do something, do it in a way that will shock the world. You are a cog but turn in a big way!"

Background: Joseph grew up in the Underground with his parents and two sisters. He despised everything about that: his parents for being forced down there, the government for forcing people into such terrible conditions, the people for not doing anything about it, the world for being so cruel. Eventually, however, as he watched people living, being born, and dying in that world, he realized that the world is not to be hated. It is to be changed. He could have stayed and used his abilities to help the Underground but he understood that was not the right thing to do. The Underground was simply a small part of the world, a world that was dying. And the world he was in was letting the rest of it die. Only by adding the right amount of chaos and order in the right was the world going to be able to live again. Destruction is simply a side of creation. The world died to leave them in this one. This one was created because of death. Now it was time for things to change again. Joseph set out to find the Blue Sky and help them. Maybe they wouldn't agree with his reasons but they would need his help.

When his power first manifested, it did so in a big way. One day, his sister and him were assaulted by a man with a simple long piece of metal. When he attacked Joseph, the bar simply rusted away. Oh, and the man's hand died. Howling in pain, he ran away, leaving Joseph in shock. Later on, when taking care of his sick mother, he found he had the ability to restore as well. He managed to materialize a pill that caused her to cough up the fibers that had begun to take root in her lungs. With the power of creation and destruction in his hands, Joseph thought for a long while. He looked at the world around him and decided that it needed to change. First would come the destruction, then the creation. That was how it was going to be and no one was going to stop him.



Phew.
Last edited by Geomancer on Mon May 16, 2011 11:46 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Vegedus » Sun May 15, 2011 5:39 pm

Verrry nice. Deliciously high concept. Caveats:

Your Trait 5 isn't really a... Well, trait 5. Trait 5 shouldn't be an ability, but a personal thing about the character. Unless I'm misreading anything, both Trait 5 and Trait 4 are Surges. Since the Yin-Yang duality is cool, I'll allow you to have both powers under the your Trait 4 (in other words, copy and paste all that stuff that's written under your Trait 5 and paste it in under your Trait 4).

I think your Trait 5 should instead focus on your primary goal in life. Especially since there's some contradicting statements that leave me wondering what that is exactly. I was thinking you were looking to be the antagonist of the game until the last part. Is he actually (secretly) trying to bring about the end of Athana and humanity? Or is he simply trying to bring about change, any change, because status quo sucks?

Either way, that's what your Trait 5 should be about.

I can't quite decide if your Trait 3 has too much overlap with your abilities. It's seems a bit redundant to be an expert at destroying and creating, both practically and supernaturally.

Trait 1 could use a rename. It makes it sound like the character is pathetic in general :P.

And for reference, your extra trait would have a value of 3. This is kinda important in the game.

I could stand a bit more background if you're up for it. Namely, about the time he got his power and how it affected his life. After all, he's probably pretty high on the Cytek wanted list.

Other than that, rock on.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Geomancer » Sun May 15, 2011 6:01 pm

Edited. I'll figure out an extra trait later.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Vegedus » Mon May 16, 2011 2:34 am

KK. The rest is looking good.

Man, I'm tempted to make some special rules to link this yin-yang theme with, well, yin-yang dice.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Belwicket » Tue May 17, 2011 12:46 am

How is mine so far? I know she's far from finished but I don't exactly know what to do.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Mastermind001 » Tue May 17, 2011 1:38 am

So how are the traits of my guy so far, Vegedus? I really hoped that you liked the damned if you do and damned if you don't kind of vibe that Wheel of Fortune has.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Vegedus » Tue May 17, 2011 3:52 am

Now we've got 4 out of 5 character concepts which have directly mentioned they don't like fighting. I wonder if this is because you don't want to do any fighting, or just because it's tempting to make character concepts who subverts the setting and don't mind getting your asses kicked a bit. The latter I can understand (I made an old character who specializes in stealth and weak, ranged attacks in a mortal kombat RP, what's up with that?!), and I can run with it, unlikely heroes and all. But if it's the former, well, I'll have to shift the direction of the RP and flex my somewhat mediocre skills at creating drama without violence.

@Mastermind:

I don't quite get what the role of that robotic vixen is... He does his ritual, summon the robot and then... People get unlucky as long as she is around? Is she simply a visual way of telling that he's currently lucky? Or does she actually participate in the situation he summons her in, somehow?

The "damned if you do, damned if you don't" flavor is nice. Can imagine me dilemmaing quite a bit over that.

Your trait 3 and 1 needs a name and some tightening up. They both kinda contain two-traits-in-one at the moment. Trait 3 should probably simply be "Silver Tongue". We haven't had anyone pick a social trait yet, so that would fit nicely. You can then use his extra trait as a Trait 4: Gun-Fu or some. And his weakness should either be "Weak Melee Skills" or "Unlucky with Money". The latter of them could also work as a general thing about him, rather than an explicit trait.

When you come to the background section, remember to mention how being a Surger has meddled in his life. His power isn't strong enough that Cytek would've necessarily made his life hell, but he's probably had to dodge their inquiries at some point in order to follow his own ambition. That's simply the price you pay for being a Surger: It's going to complicate your life.

@MLS:

You seem to have sorta glossed over what the different trait categories should be about. Trait 5 should be a motivation or conviction of some sort, not a skill. I need to know what drives the character in order to motivate her in the RP.

Trait 4 is way too specific. It should be more broadly applicable. You can't resolve a lot of situations by just "typing fast". It's not even that fast in a setting where people can transfer thoughts directly into the machine. Instead, she could just be insanely fast with computers and digital devices in general. Fast at hacking, typing, assembling, booting, whatever. Oh, and if you could describe how it's applicable for combat, as I've kinda required it be, that'd be swell.

Trait 3 isn't bad, but... It could use some expansion of what that language skill is good for. In a closed, small-area "nation" like Athana, I can't imagine there's a lot of people that don't know the official language of the state (let's assume it's english). Some in the Underground, but not many. As such, I figured she'd used it more to impress people and such. Fire off a greek philosophers quote in ancient greek to seem smart, and such.

Trait 1 also needs to be more better explained. What's "varying" things? Is she easily distracted in general, or is it actually "shiny" things that distract her? No one is distracted by bricks in a wall or tiles in the floor, so it seems lazy to just put "varying" in.

For the extra trait, you should probably drop the part where she doesn't do anything with her ideas, because being creative on paper isn't going to be very useful. Also, creative in what manner? Does she design games, act, paint, make music, film movies? Creativity is a lot of things.

All of your traits could use at least a line or two more of explanation.

Also, the name. Being named after three kinds of precious stones is kinda ridiculous. Keep one, drop the rest... Unless she had wacky parents or she named herself that and it somehow ties in to the character concept.

The numbers are unnecessary. Just say that she "runs really fast" and "build electronic stuff faster than most people" rather than put numbers on it. It doesn't matter in the RP just how exactly much time it takes her to run a mile (and we can always make up a number if it does), and everything is relative, so specific numbers can sound off. As already pointed out, 75 words per minute isn't even that much. I can do 50, and I'm mediocre and don't live in a futuristic society. It's better to keep that stuff vague.

Lastly, the concept doesn't seem accurate. She seems neither ninja, nor hydrophobic. The mechanized legs are cool, though. We need moar cybernetics!

Edit: Wow. That's a lot of feedback. I'm always surprised at how much I write.
Last edited by Vegedus on Tue May 17, 2011 4:19 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Asmodai » Tue May 17, 2011 4:05 am

Man, and here I thought I was being unique by creating a non-fighter... I was hoping it would create some tension between the fighter characters (of which I thought there would be more)
Might add a bit of non-lethal combat ala Mirror's Edge (knocking out, disarming)

ALSO WILL ALL OF YOU PEOPLE STOP REFERRING TO MY_LITTLE_SISTER AS LMS?!? Every time I read that acronym, I think of Last Man Standing. WHICH IS A TOO AWESOME THING TO BE TIED TO MLS!
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Iris » Tue May 17, 2011 4:11 am

The main reason to why my character doesn't like fighting is because it'll draw attention if he isn't carefully. Besides it helps prevent blowing his cover in the beginning.

As the RP continues I'm planning on having him become more and more active as a fighter, depending on the situation anyway.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Vegedus » Tue May 17, 2011 4:19 am

Asmodai wrote:Man, and here I thought I was being unique by creating a non-fighter... I was hoping it would create some tension between the fighter characters (of which I thought there would be more)
Might add a bit of non-lethal combat ala Mirror's Edge (knocking out, disarming)

That's exactly what I'm talking about. You want to play the odd-man out, but then EVERYONE makes an odd-man out :P. It seems to be a trend on this forum.

ALSO WILL ALL OF YOU PEOPLE STOP REFERRING TO MY_LITTLE_SISTER AS LMS?!? Every time I read that acronym, I think of Last Man Standing. WHICH IS A TOO AWESOME THING TO BE TIED TO MLS!

Oops, typo. And you're right, LMS is way too cool for her :P. Which reminds me that I also want to run an LMS-like RP. Though... This one isn't too far from that, so people are hereby also encouraged to take inspiration from Last Man Standing!
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Asmodai » Tue May 17, 2011 4:32 am

Must. Ropleplay. As. Jawesome.

I'M GONNA EAT YOU ALL! OMNOMNOMNOM
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Vegedus » Tue May 17, 2011 4:41 am

Oh yeah, I've forgot to say, Asmodai, Iris and Geomancers characters are all officially accepted. Too late to make Jawesome now :3
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Asmodai » Tue May 17, 2011 4:44 am

NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOooooooo.... my life is forfeit now D:

Oh wells, gonna be adding some more aggression to her sheet the moment I have time. There has to be a reason she survived 14 years on the streets as a mute. And by reason, I mean she knows how to get into and out of fisticuffs! I guess she could even be teaching Erroll a thing or two about fighting (I doubt he would mind getting 1 on 1 with her dur hur hur)
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Iris » Tue May 17, 2011 5:21 am

Ah sweet, to both being accepted and the 1 on 1.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Vegedus » Tue May 17, 2011 5:44 am

Dur hur hur.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Belwicket » Tue May 17, 2011 8:43 am

Vegedus wrote:@MLS:

You seem to have sorta glossed over what the different trait categories should be about. Trait 5 should be a motivation or conviction of some sort, not a skill. I need to know what drives the character in order to motivate her in the RP.

Trait 4 is way too specific. It should be more broadly applicable. You can't resolve a lot of situations by just "typing fast". It's not even that fast in a setting where people can transfer thoughts directly into the machine. Instead, she could just be insanely fast with computers and digital devices in general. Fast at hacking, typing, assembling, booting, whatever. Oh, and if you could describe how it's applicable for combat, as I've kinda required it be, that'd be swell.

Trait 3 isn't bad, but... It could use some expansion of what that language skill is good for. In a closed, small-area "nation" like Athana, I can't imagine there's a lot of people that don't know the official language of the state (let's assume it's english). Some in the Underground, but not many. As such, I figured she'd used it more to impress people and such. Fire off a greek philosophers quote in ancient greek to seem smart, and such.

Trait 1 also needs to be more better explained. What's "varying" things? Is she easily distracted in general, or is it actually "shiny" things that distract her? No one is distracted by bricks in a wall or tiles in the floor, so it seems lazy to just put "varying" in.

For the extra trait, you should probably drop the part where she doesn't do anything with her ideas, because being creative on paper isn't going to be very useful. Also, creative in what manner? Does she design games, act, paint, make music, film movies? Creativity is a lot of things.

All of your traits could use at least a line or two more of explanation.

Also, the name. Being named after three kinds of precious stones is kinda ridiculous. Keep one, drop the rest... Unless she had wacky parents or she named herself that and it somehow ties in to the character concept.

The numbers are unnecessary. Just say that she "runs really fast" and "build electronic stuff faster than most people" rather than put numbers on it. It doesn't matter in the RP just how exactly much time it takes her to run a mile (and we can always make up a number if it does), and everything is relative, so specific numbers can sound off. As already pointed out, 75 words per minute isn't even that much. I can do 50, and I'm mediocre and don't live in a futuristic society. It's better to keep that stuff vague.

Lastly, the concept doesn't seem accurate. She seems neither ninja, nor hydrophobic. The mechanized legs are cool, though. We need moar cybernetics!

I will edit her... more... as soon as I'm awake. I do like the legs idea, though. It was something I was planning on using in a story but I had no story to put it in. With nowhere else to put it, here seemed like the best place I'd find in a while.

Asmodai wrote:ALSO WILL ALL OF YOU PEOPLE STOP REFERRING TO MY_LITTLE_SISTER AS LMS?!? Every time I read that acronym, I think of Last Man Standing. WHICH IS A TOO AWESOME THING TO BE TIED TO MLS!

How about just "sis"?
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Vegedus » Tue May 17, 2011 8:47 am

Since no one has made a Guardian yet, here's an example. Antagonist style.

Name: Brac Saiko
Concept: Cytek's most brutal Surger hunter.
Gender: Male
Age: 34

Appearance: Brac isn't tall, but he is big. He has broad shoulders and big muscles. Big enough that he must either work either have a religious approach to working out or be 'on' something. Especially his hands are almost abnormally big, and he makes an intimidating fist. Further, his body is of a darker, messy complexion, and he has several scars on his body of various kinds. Burns, cuts, and some which the source of which is hard to identify. The most noticeable scar runs from the right side of his face to his chin and looks like the imprint made by an ice cream scoop, wide rifts of brown wound tissue.

His eyes are a darkgreen and has short, army-cut blonde hair, except for a single, long lock of hair going down in front of his face. He also has some rather big, dumbo like ears sticking out of his head, but it'd be unwise to draw attention to them.

And then there's his left arm. It's obviously cybernetic, black, polished metal going up to his shoulder, and it's more volumous than his already big right arm. It's shaped much like a real arm, five digits and all, but it has lots of details, pointy bits, whole and put together surfaces, revealing it's transformable nature.

His work and combat uniform consist of a thick armor, black, same style as his cybernetic arm, which covers his chest, shoulders and lower legs. The right shoulder is asymmetrically big and round in shapes and connected to his arm via three, thick, plated power cables. He wears a biker-like helmet with a head-up display. A dark blue, skintight covers all unarmored areas.

In civil, he wears a shifting, urban-camoflage west with the sleeves torn off and a cargo pants with legs in three parts and colors, held together by stylized, big, flat steel chains.

Trait 5: Might makes Right!
Those that fight for their rights are entitled to them. If they win that fight, of course. Brac believes people have to fight for every thing they want in life, and if they don't fight hard enough to get it, that's their fault. For instance, those Surgers have an unique power. They can do things ordinary people can't dream of. Yet, Cytek have been successful at holding them down. Obviously, they don't deserve those rights they pine about so, if they can't even manage to claim them themselves.

Brac often talk about this philosophy, and while it's unknown if he really believes in it or if it's just a foil to justify his sociopathic behavior, most assume the latter.

Trait 4: Multi-Weapon Fighting
Brac's arm can transform into a wide variety of weapons, the default of which is a bayoneted assault gun. Other forms include an extendable spear, a thin shield and a rotating set of blades. The full amount of configurations is known only to Brac and the designer. He also carries a large, two handed hammer with a kinetic booster, that allows to swing it faster than with raw muscle power, in case he needs something with more power than his arm can manage. He rapidly changes style during to throw off his opponent.

Trait 3: Practical
Brac is no techno-wizard, but he knows the basics. He repairs and maintains his own equipment, and he's good with simple tools. He'd probably be a handyman if he hadn't joined the military.

Trait 1: Rage
Brac isn't without humor and he laughs at little men's attempt at provoke him. However, he does have hotbuttons, and flies into a completely rage should they be pressed sufficiently. This primal side of his is even more scary than his normal, but he is very prone to making mistakes and being duped in this form and doing things he might regret later.

Extra Trait: 4, Surger Hunter
The official title of Brac is Master Guardian, but he's at better at fighting against Surgers than with them. Unofficially, he's known as the Surger Hunter, and is quite notorious for it. Most renegade Surgers know about him, and there's plenty of grudges. Brac is experienced in fighting Surgers and has the equipment to do so. He's never thrown off by their effects, is quick to analyze their workings and immediately interrupts rituals.

Chi: ???/???.

Personality:
Brac is a loud and brash sort. He's often in a good mood, constantly cracking jokes, which people tend to laugh at, even if they don't appreciate his rough humor. He's a real alpha-dog and his very aura and confidence means he only rarely has to beat this fact into his henchmen and the random drunks he often encounter in his off-work bar hopping. He still lays down such beatdowns happily, and it's an open secret that Brac has a vicious, sadistic side.

Nonetheless, he's a professional, and very dedicated to his job. Inside Cytek and among his bosses, he acts like the perfect soldier, loyal and disciplined.

Background:
A little known fact about Brac is that he was born in the underground. He did a lot of street fighting for money as well as lots of other kinds of crime. When he was caught and facing a life time, Cytek recognized his talent and gave him an offer he couldn't refuse. He quickly excelled within the military and found a new path in life, whether it's better or worse.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Belwicket » Tue May 17, 2011 9:20 am

Alright, I added to her. Is she good now?
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Iris » Tue May 17, 2011 9:27 am

You need to explain her traits, why she has them. Easily distract for example, why is she so easily distract? Is it because she's scatter brained? Constantly thinking? Neurological deficient?

With your traits you're meant to expand they defy her. Not because they are there or what she can do.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Vegedus » Tue May 17, 2011 9:36 am

Well, because of what she can do, too. You're going to roll dice based on them, after all. Generally, the traits doesn't actually have to be long life stories, but it helps.

@MLS:
You still haven't really fixed Trait 5, 4 and 1. Trait 5 should be a personal thing, 4 is (still) way too specific and unusable and 1 is still incredibly vague. She's easily distracted by things that aren't common and aren't rare? That doesn't really make sense. You should probably just drop it and make her fear of water, and her legs sensitiveness to it her weakness. It's a much more obvious choice for a weakness.

The backstory is a bit overly dramatic and not as well written as I'd like, but I guess you can only learn by doing. I would like if there was a bit more to tie her into the setting, rather than just a generic sad-background.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Belwicket » Tue May 17, 2011 9:37 am

I will continue adding to her when I return, I have prior engagements I must attend to.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Iris » Tue May 17, 2011 9:40 am

Also would like to point out MLS that this is the future, there aren't any tires. There are flying cars however.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Vegedus » Tue May 17, 2011 9:41 am

Yeah, I was thinking that too, but I guess it's not completely impossible she was run over.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Iris » Tue May 17, 2011 9:47 am

Another funny inconsistency you may want to alter when you're back MLS is the fact your appearance says she looks "13 though she's 18" while in the age section you say she's 21. It's understandable that it's a typo but just wanted to draw your attention to that.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Vegedus » Tue May 17, 2011 10:48 am

Also, err, it doesn't rain inside the Athana. It's completely closed off from the outside.
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