Wushu: After the End [OOC] This is the True End

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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Vegedus » Sun May 15, 2011 3:36 am

The tech is issue you've fixed nicely. I hope you'll bring some of that dry humor ('irony award') into the game.

Trait 5 and 4 both works better as traits now, with the added quips, so I think they're fine now.

I'm slightly iffy on trust issues as a weakness. Kinda like paranoia, it's actually a strength if someone IS out to get you. Then again, it's a nice roleplaying hook. Meh, it's fine.

The extra trait could still use some rewording to make it clear what exactly it represent. I think I get it, but I'm not sure it's the same as your vision. You could for instance re-dub it "Preparation": Erroll always got a backup plan.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Tuor » Sun May 15, 2011 3:51 am

So we should use 40k as a reference for weapons? Also, what is clothing like?
"Suddenly Frodo noticed that a strange-looking weather-beaten man, sitting in the shadows near the wall, was also listening intently to the hobbit-talk. He had a tall tankard in front of him, and was smoking a long-stemmed pipe curiously carved. His legs were stretched out before him, showing high boots of supple leather that fitted him well, but had seen much wear and were now caked with mud. A travel-stained cloak of heavy dark-green cloth was drawn close about him, and in spite of the heat of the room he wore a hood that overshadowed his face; but the gleam of his eyes could be seen as he watched the hobbits."
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Vegedus » Sun May 15, 2011 5:31 am

40K, for instance. 40K has cool weapons, so it's a good reference for cool weapons. Plus, the chainsword, along with a gun blade, is pretty representative of my taste in weapons: It's a sword... and a chainsaw, double the awesome! This setting isn't quite as gritty as 40K though, so weapons need not necessarily be as brutal.

Mainly, I made that reference because Neowarrior has Tau in his set, so I knew he'd get it.

Hm, clothing. Fashion is always the part I have the hardest time envisioning for my beloved sci-fi.

Well, formal clothing hasn't changed completely changed. The tuxedo still exist, but comes in quirkier variations, such as with embroidery, fancy patterns and straps.

As mentioned, there's a lot of sub-culture on street level, and there's sub-cultures to sub-cultures. Things get positively freaky. Glowing, morphing tatoos, gene treatment to give animal-like traits, and clothing made out of plastics or metals.

There's a general, everyday fashion of "segmented" clothing. Different pieces of clothing that looks "grafted" in a way similar to how pieces of machinery is. So, for instance a pair of white shorts, with a black legs in thick fabric, fastened to the shorts with thick, metal clamps. In this manner, stiff fabrics, who keep their form instead of conforming to the body, are also commonly combined with regular textiles, kinda like how a tuxedo makes your shoulders look wider than they are.

A fabric called polycloth is quite popular in the underground. It's synthetic and very thick and dense, so much so that it's made thinner over joints. It's hardy, cheap and reasonably comfy, but makes you look kinda blocky.

And lastly, as with so many other things, technology is often directly integrated into the clothing. Nanomaschines can be used to make a shirt that never stains or needs ironing. Colors and shape of the clothes can change dynamically. You can make a psychedelic shirt which weaves and pulses. And ironic, internet t-shirts come in animated versions :P
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Iris » Sun May 15, 2011 6:21 am

Hmm, true about the trust issue. I think see if I can think of something that can further expand the first trait.

Edit: There we go, I've altered trait 1.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Asmodai » Sun May 15, 2011 9:56 am

Now with added picture.... LETS HOPE SHE WONT STEP INTO ANY GLASS!
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Vegedus » Sun May 15, 2011 9:58 am

Oh, you be tempting me!

And wow. That was more revealing than I had imagined.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Iris » Sun May 15, 2011 10:02 am

I am curious to know the story behind how she convinced Erroll to buy that for her... It would be hilariously amusing and probably awkward for the two of them. But then what's new.

Edit: Also if we are using some inspirations from the 40K universe, I suggest digital weapons. They'd fit in perfectly I think.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Asmodai » Sun May 15, 2011 10:04 am

Vegedus wrote:Oh, you be tempting me!

And wow. That was more revealing than I had imagined.

Is it bad that I actually had a more revealing suit lined up first? But then thought "Wait... I'm not drawing a pornstar right now."
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Vegedus » Sun May 15, 2011 10:26 am

Very bad. You and your boobed drawings.
Iris wrote:I am curious to know the story behind how she convinced Erroll to buy that for her... It would be hilariously amusing and probably awkward for the two of them. But then what's new.

You can tell the story in the game if somebody asks :D

Digital weapons? I'm actually not familiar with that part of 40K.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Iris » Sun May 15, 2011 10:40 am

Hehe, I look forward *Cough* I mean, I hope no one asks, the story would be mightily embarrassing for the both of them.

Digital weapons are what the inquisitors occasionally wear, they are concealed weapons (or other mechanisms, such as shields or tracking devices) in the form of rings, necklaces and other small trinkets that are easily hidden.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Vegedus » Sun May 15, 2011 10:42 am

Ah. The concept made sense once I found out it's "digital" for "digits", not related to electronics.

Well, sure. It seems feasible for such to exist in the setting. Very small, concealable laser weapon, in various forms. I like my weapons big and obvious myself, but you can have something like that if you want.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Iris » Sun May 15, 2011 10:51 am

Yeah that would be my bad with spelling again :P. I tend to type what I hear, anyway I've got a couple ideas for later in the RP that may aid in picking up Tay's combat slack. After all Erroll will be working on improving his own tech as time goes on.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Vegedus » Sun May 15, 2011 10:55 am

Sounds cool. I think we can use Neo's idea of having your characters on the run to begin with, and them have them fight back as things get serious. You'll also get a chance to change or get new traits at some point in the RP.

And the spellings correct. That's the confusing part. Both words are spelled exactly alike, but mean different things. Digital and Digital.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Iris » Sun May 15, 2011 11:00 am

...How I hate thee English language... you confuse me terribly.

I'll being sending you a Pm about the ideas I had.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Vegedus » Sun May 15, 2011 11:05 am

BTW, your new weakness is looking good. I think it can work as a trait. Especially if it also means he gets easily distracted.

*likes the mental image of Erroll getting caught up in thought during a battle and getting face paunched while distracted*
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Iris » Sun May 15, 2011 11:07 am

Hehe thanks, I figured since I'm picking up the slack for Tay I may as well stick in character all the way through. My guy thinks so much that at times he's strategizing when he should be fighting.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Geomancer » Sun May 15, 2011 2:25 pm

Name:Joseph Maxwell
Concept: Chaotic nihilist and orderly creator
Gender: Male
Age: 21

Appearance: Joesph's appearance is as strange as his philosophy. His hair has been dyed black on his left side and white on his right. The hair on his left is perfectly straight and neat while the white hair is spiked using gel. The changes between the two are not gradual. It is if he used a straightedge. His eyes have been colored, just like his hair. Both have been changed into a half of the 'yin-yang' symbol. He wears a neat black suit with tattered elbows and knees. Despite the tears, he still wears a black tie and has a white handkerchief in his pocket. He keeps sunglasses tucked in next to the handkerchief. When he activates his abilities, he wears those sunglasses which have been modified to darken in response to bright light, including flashbangs and the such.

Trait 5: Nothing is Forever

From his point of view, everything has its time. Empires fall, ideas are forgotten, people die. It has to happen or the world falls apart. However, at the same time, nothing should end before its time. That means you should avoid destruction as much as possible. Things will fall when it is time. Joseph is sometimes very fickle with this when deciding when it is time but he holds to the general idea. In his mind, Cytek has been around long enough.


Trait 4: Absolute Dissolution and Perfect Creation

When Joseph sees something that obstructs him, he may use this power. Just by touching something, he 'infects' it with the element of destruction. It begins to fall apart, by different means. Living things rot, metal rusts, computers suddenly develop deadly bugs in the code, and food becomes toxic. He does not use this to kill, he uses this to destroy, a different way of thinking. There can be no malice in his actions. When he uses this ability, his eyes turn black with white pupils and to activate it, he must clasp his hands but reversed, as if praying but doing it wrong.

When Joseph sees a void that needs to be filled with something, he creates the perfect item, literally. Whenever he uses this ability, the item could only be described as perfect. If it is a sword, it will be unbelievably sharp, absolutely balanced, comfortable to hold, and simple to wield. Unfortunately, it will never be a sword. This ability can only be used to create an item that is to be used to create, not to destroy. When he uses this ability, both of his eyes turn white with black pupils. When he uses this ability, he holds both hands out, palms showing, and moves his fingers as if manipulating the mysterious forces he uses.


Trait 3: Runner

Despite his lack of constitution, Joseph can book it when he needs to. He can't run for very long but he can run fast for those 10 seconds. He is also pretty agile when he needs to be.


Trait 1: Total Weakling

Joseph is not a person who you would want in any kind of physical contest. His studies and general lack of interest has left him with a poor constitution and very little strength. However, it has not affected his agility.


Extra Trait: To be decided

Chi: 3/3

Personality: Joseph usually has no self-control. He'll see something that is unneeded and wander over to take it apart or notice something that needs to exist and create it right then and there. He can keep his thought train from derailing but it takes something of great importance. Fortunately, considering his situation, he is surrounded by things of great importance. What he really likes seeing is things distinguishing and things forming out of little. It is the flow of the universe, after all, and he is just doing his part to speed the whole process up. This world they are living in has existed for too long and the world outside has been decayed for too long. They both need to continue in the cycle and Joseph is going to make sure that happen. One of his personal quotes is "If you are going to do something, do it in a way that will shock the world. You are a cog but turn in a big way!"

Background: Joseph grew up in the Underground with his parents and two sisters. He despised everything about that: his parents for being forced down there, the government for forcing people into such terrible conditions, the people for not doing anything about it, the world for being so cruel. Eventually, however, as he watched people living, being born, and dying in that world, he realized that the world is not to be hated. It is to be changed. He could have stayed and used his abilities to help the Underground but he understood that was not the right thing to do. The Underground was simply a small part of the world, a world that was dying. And the world he was in was letting the rest of it die. Only by adding the right amount of chaos and order in the right was the world going to be able to live again. Destruction is simply a side of creation. The world died to leave them in this one. This one was created because of death. Now it was time for things to change again. Joseph set out to find the Blue Sky and help them. Maybe they wouldn't agree with his reasons but they would need his help.

When his power first manifested, it did so in a big way. One day, his sister and him were assaulted by a man with a simple long piece of metal. When he attacked Joseph, the bar simply rusted away. Oh, and the man's hand died. Howling in pain, he ran away, leaving Joseph in shock. Later on, when taking care of his sick mother, he found he had the ability to restore as well. He managed to materialize a pill that caused her to cough up the fibers that had begun to take root in her lungs. With the power of creation and destruction in his hands, Joseph thought for a long while. He looked at the world around him and decided that it needed to change. First would come the destruction, then the creation. That was how it was going to be and no one was going to stop him.



Phew.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Vegedus » Sun May 15, 2011 5:39 pm

Verrry nice. Deliciously high concept. Caveats:

Your Trait 5 isn't really a... Well, trait 5. Trait 5 shouldn't be an ability, but a personal thing about the character. Unless I'm misreading anything, both Trait 5 and Trait 4 are Surges. Since the Yin-Yang duality is cool, I'll allow you to have both powers under the your Trait 4 (in other words, copy and paste all that stuff that's written under your Trait 5 and paste it in under your Trait 4).

I think your Trait 5 should instead focus on your primary goal in life. Especially since there's some contradicting statements that leave me wondering what that is exactly. I was thinking you were looking to be the antagonist of the game until the last part. Is he actually (secretly) trying to bring about the end of Athana and humanity? Or is he simply trying to bring about change, any change, because status quo sucks?

Either way, that's what your Trait 5 should be about.

I can't quite decide if your Trait 3 has too much overlap with your abilities. It's seems a bit redundant to be an expert at destroying and creating, both practically and supernaturally.

Trait 1 could use a rename. It makes it sound like the character is pathetic in general :P.

And for reference, your extra trait would have a value of 3. This is kinda important in the game.

I could stand a bit more background if you're up for it. Namely, about the time he got his power and how it affected his life. After all, he's probably pretty high on the Cytek wanted list.

Other than that, rock on.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Geomancer » Sun May 15, 2011 6:01 pm

Edited. I'll figure out an extra trait later.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Vegedus » Mon May 16, 2011 2:34 am

KK. The rest is looking good.

Man, I'm tempted to make some special rules to link this yin-yang theme with, well, yin-yang dice.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Belwicket » Tue May 17, 2011 12:46 am

How is mine so far? I know she's far from finished but I don't exactly know what to do.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Mastermind001 » Tue May 17, 2011 1:38 am

So how are the traits of my guy so far, Vegedus? I really hoped that you liked the damned if you do and damned if you don't kind of vibe that Wheel of Fortune has.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Vegedus » Tue May 17, 2011 3:52 am

Now we've got 4 out of 5 character concepts which have directly mentioned they don't like fighting. I wonder if this is because you don't want to do any fighting, or just because it's tempting to make character concepts who subverts the setting and don't mind getting your asses kicked a bit. The latter I can understand (I made an old character who specializes in stealth and weak, ranged attacks in a mortal kombat RP, what's up with that?!), and I can run with it, unlikely heroes and all. But if it's the former, well, I'll have to shift the direction of the RP and flex my somewhat mediocre skills at creating drama without violence.

@Mastermind:

I don't quite get what the role of that robotic vixen is... He does his ritual, summon the robot and then... People get unlucky as long as she is around? Is she simply a visual way of telling that he's currently lucky? Or does she actually participate in the situation he summons her in, somehow?

The "damned if you do, damned if you don't" flavor is nice. Can imagine me dilemmaing quite a bit over that.

Your trait 3 and 1 needs a name and some tightening up. They both kinda contain two-traits-in-one at the moment. Trait 3 should probably simply be "Silver Tongue". We haven't had anyone pick a social trait yet, so that would fit nicely. You can then use his extra trait as a Trait 4: Gun-Fu or some. And his weakness should either be "Weak Melee Skills" or "Unlucky with Money". The latter of them could also work as a general thing about him, rather than an explicit trait.

When you come to the background section, remember to mention how being a Surger has meddled in his life. His power isn't strong enough that Cytek would've necessarily made his life hell, but he's probably had to dodge their inquiries at some point in order to follow his own ambition. That's simply the price you pay for being a Surger: It's going to complicate your life.

@MLS:

You seem to have sorta glossed over what the different trait categories should be about. Trait 5 should be a motivation or conviction of some sort, not a skill. I need to know what drives the character in order to motivate her in the RP.

Trait 4 is way too specific. It should be more broadly applicable. You can't resolve a lot of situations by just "typing fast". It's not even that fast in a setting where people can transfer thoughts directly into the machine. Instead, she could just be insanely fast with computers and digital devices in general. Fast at hacking, typing, assembling, booting, whatever. Oh, and if you could describe how it's applicable for combat, as I've kinda required it be, that'd be swell.

Trait 3 isn't bad, but... It could use some expansion of what that language skill is good for. In a closed, small-area "nation" like Athana, I can't imagine there's a lot of people that don't know the official language of the state (let's assume it's english). Some in the Underground, but not many. As such, I figured she'd used it more to impress people and such. Fire off a greek philosophers quote in ancient greek to seem smart, and such.

Trait 1 also needs to be more better explained. What's "varying" things? Is she easily distracted in general, or is it actually "shiny" things that distract her? No one is distracted by bricks in a wall or tiles in the floor, so it seems lazy to just put "varying" in.

For the extra trait, you should probably drop the part where she doesn't do anything with her ideas, because being creative on paper isn't going to be very useful. Also, creative in what manner? Does she design games, act, paint, make music, film movies? Creativity is a lot of things.

All of your traits could use at least a line or two more of explanation.

Also, the name. Being named after three kinds of precious stones is kinda ridiculous. Keep one, drop the rest... Unless she had wacky parents or she named herself that and it somehow ties in to the character concept.

The numbers are unnecessary. Just say that she "runs really fast" and "build electronic stuff faster than most people" rather than put numbers on it. It doesn't matter in the RP just how exactly much time it takes her to run a mile (and we can always make up a number if it does), and everything is relative, so specific numbers can sound off. As already pointed out, 75 words per minute isn't even that much. I can do 50, and I'm mediocre and don't live in a futuristic society. It's better to keep that stuff vague.

Lastly, the concept doesn't seem accurate. She seems neither ninja, nor hydrophobic. The mechanized legs are cool, though. We need moar cybernetics!

Edit: Wow. That's a lot of feedback. I'm always surprised at how much I write.
Last edited by Vegedus on Tue May 17, 2011 4:19 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Asmodai » Tue May 17, 2011 4:05 am

Man, and here I thought I was being unique by creating a non-fighter... I was hoping it would create some tension between the fighter characters (of which I thought there would be more)
Might add a bit of non-lethal combat ala Mirror's Edge (knocking out, disarming)

ALSO WILL ALL OF YOU PEOPLE STOP REFERRING TO MY_LITTLE_SISTER AS LMS?!? Every time I read that acronym, I think of Last Man Standing. WHICH IS A TOO AWESOME THING TO BE TIED TO MLS!
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Iris » Tue May 17, 2011 4:11 am

The main reason to why my character doesn't like fighting is because it'll draw attention if he isn't carefully. Besides it helps prevent blowing his cover in the beginning.

As the RP continues I'm planning on having him become more and more active as a fighter, depending on the situation anyway.
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