Wushu: After the End [OOC] This is the True End

As the title suggests, feel free to RP it up.

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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Ionix Baelgos » Wed May 18, 2011 11:37 pm

Name: Gael (Gary) Malagan
Concept: Marketing Rep who gets ripped and has a chip on his shoulder.
Gender: Male
Age: Twenty seven years of age.

Appearance: Before his great change, Gary was a lanky, tall man, seeming to be almost a shade. His peach skin was often red with light sunburns, especially around his nose. His almost-black brown hair was cut into a crew cut, although with a very small tail on the back end. Looking around, his almost-orange eyes were wide.

However, since a grave accident, Gary has changed drastically. His arms and legs are much thicker than the rest of his body, partially because of the surged warping of his genetics. These are covered in thick metal armor, making him look like a hulking monstrosity. He has to struggle to stand up straight rather than lean forward or backward due to the size of his arms and hands. His legs are incredibly thick, and his feet, when armored, seem dwarfed by his shins. His arms seem normal enough until you get halfway past the shoulder- then they grow rapidly, at their largest at the wrist. His armor holds small nanodrives to make his arms a bit lighter for him to carry.

These changes, by nature, leave the rest of Gary Malagan, by virtue of having to carry them, much more muscular than he otherwise would be. However, the rest of his body is still comparatively lean and lanky, and so he looks incredibly mismatched. The goofy mustache and sideburns he has allowed to start growing also cause conflicting emotion- on the one hand, the 'stache looks incredibly goofy and inappropriate. On the other, they make Gary look wild at times.

Trait 5: Unyielding- Gary, despite having his body warped to an agonizing level, has the mindset of persistence to the extremes. He wants answers and refuses to let anything get in his way- not Surgers, Guardians, Cytek, pain or even Death get in his way. Once he gets a goal in his mind, he will press until he is broken and unable to continue. Specifically, he wants answers and a cure, but if he becomes truly devoted to a cause, he will push for it with the same almost-fanatic will.

Trait 4: Warped Bulk- due to an accident involving a Surger whose powers involved minimization and magnification accidentally mistaking Gary for someone else, Gary's body was warped and is incredibly heavy for him to use. He hits like a truck, but is slow and gets winded pretty quickly. However, he is a wall when he needs to be.
In essence, he is a wall when defensive and a (admittedly slow) truck when offensive.

Trait 3: Marketer- Gary worked in marketing for ten years and as a result, has a bit of a warped mindset. This can make him incredibly good at negotiating, but on the other hand, may lead to him having unrealistic expectations. He is good with numbers, figures, and concepts and is especially talented at communication.

Trait 1: Sluggish- Gary's body doesn't allow for quick reflexes. Instead, he has to make the most of his strength in slow bursts. He is incredibly vulnerable if approached from an unexpected angle or direction. In addition, his stubbornness is almost physical in how he has trouble changing direction mid-swing.

Extra Trait: (Would like to leave this blank so it can develop over time. :) )

Chi: Current (3); Max (3)

Personality: Internally, Gary is actually rather shy now that he looks so bizarre. Previously, he was very extroverted, but now lacks a lot of confidence in groups. However, while he is incredibly shy, he tries to fight it as best he can and will attempt to be extroverted, occasionally overcompensating with a loud voice. However, he's much more easily hushed or dismissed than in previous times.

Gary's worldview is a rational one, although, like his body, warped by his jumping to conclusions. He recognizes the world for what it is academically, but his impulses occasionally override that. He recognizes that his ideals do not match the world as is, but that doesn't stop him from trying to pursue them to their natural ends. He cannot stand to accept ignorance in most cases (there are always exceptions). In his pursuits, depending on what the focus of his thinking is, he may be somewhat easily distracted.


Background: Due to an accident involving a Surger whose powers involved minimization and magnification accidentally mistaking Gary for a high-ranking official of Cytek, the Surger let loose and fired off their magnification abilties full force at the marketing rep. Curling up in almost a ball to try to not get hit, Gary shielded all but his arms and legs from the blast, which blew up and were warped by location as a result.
Now a freak, Gary lost his job almost immediately after he stumbled into work, breaking the door. Frustrated at how his life seems ruined, Gary now seeks to find out just why there are rebels in the first place and exactly what is going on at Cytek, and, if possible, a cure to his horrible disfigurement.

((I hope you enjoy!))
Last edited by Ionix Baelgos on Thu May 19, 2011 4:02 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Garethcool » Thu May 19, 2011 12:25 am

Working for Cytek? Sounds like fun!

I'm making some kind of badass quadruple agent for shits 'n giggles.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Belwicket » Thu May 19, 2011 12:29 am

How's my CS so far?
They taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies, you little spies - You will release your life, joining with the god-damned world of the dead and the lonely. - Я сошла с ума, Mне нужна она
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Vegedus » Thu May 19, 2011 4:04 am

Hm, people keep popping up. Cool.

@Ionix Baelgos:

I don't have a lot to say, actually. It's a fine character and you seem to have a good handle on the setting.

I'd normally like the Trait 5 to be a bit more specific, but I guess it works with his impulsive nature.

It's cool that you want to reserve your extra trait, but note that you'll get chances to get new traits as the RP progress, so you don't have to hold on to it too long.

The personality section is a bit muddled and confusing since he's both shy, cunning, stubborn, rational, goal-oriented, emotional affected, impulsive and idealistic. Perhaps try to draw some clearer, broader strokes about how he is, and mention what some of those ideals would be.

Also, just to confirm, he's currently unemployed, vengeful at Cytek (but not at Surgers), and haven't yet, but might join a rebel group when he finds out why they are there, correct?

@MLS:

What did you change, exactly? You've added a line to each of your traits? But you still haven't taken done any of the changes I wanted you to.

You HAVE to change your Trait 5 entirely. You can incorporate what you have in it now into your trait 4. Trait 5 CANNOT be a skill, a practical thing your character is capable of. It should be a goal, motivation, or defining aspect of character. For instance, is she seeking revenge for her sister? Has her death given her some principle or goal to seek?

Trait 4 is, well, getting better, but still vague and still with a needless grounding in "can type fast". And how does she find out about a persons weaknesses? Does she analyse their movements or their brain or genes or what? And how is she able to exploit those weakness?

Trait 1 is also still vague enough to mean nothing at all. Make it more specific, more concrete. Being so fascinated by cybernetics one might stop up to admire the opponents is a weakness, sometimes being distracted by 'stuff', isn't.

Oh, and the name. The name is still ridiculous, and have no reason to be so.

Mastermind001 wrote:Well if there is too many Surgers, I made a Guardian, if you want to me to switch.

Naaah, it doesn't matter. As long as there's one Guardian, I'm happy. It's just for variety's sake. It's not like it affects the balance of the game; You don't need a Guardian like you need a tank in WoW.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Tuor » Thu May 19, 2011 5:13 am

Name: Mat Calthorne
Concept: Rakish, smooth talking smuggler
Gender: Male
Age: 26

Appearance:
Mat is a slim man, not to say he’s weak he’s not. Mat’s body is just very lean, the only meat on his bones being muscle. His hands are delicate looking and a bit on the small side. Mat’s blonde hair is worn slicked back over his head, or at least that’s how it starts the day, by the end various strands are usually hanging loose and unkempt. He has angular features and high cheekbones on his thin face. His eyebrows are what might be called beautiful as they are perfectly arched. His nose is slender, and straight with a slight bump on the ridge. His eyes are blue, like newly frozen ice, and almost a typical almond shape, though a bit rounder. His eyelids hang so that he always appears either as if he is a bit sleepy, or assuming a dangerous glare. His chest and torso are modest in size, but well toned and defined. His muscles may not be large but they are powerful, many a time an opponent had underestimated Mat and learned that the hard way. His skin was fair, but has since become slightly bronzed; now assuming a tawny colour. Next to his skin is a bit of leather cord from which hangs a golden piece. It must be very old or exotic, possibly both, for no one who sees it can place its country of origin and Mat refuses to reveal it. He wears a grey-blue shirt which is slightly open at the neck, the shirt is tucked into earth brown slacks; these in turn are tucked into brown leather boots, which reach mid calf. Mat also wears a burnt brown, cloth vest over his shirt. About his waist is a sturdy belt, worn over the slacks at a rakish angle.


Trait 5: Looking out for Numero Uno and Cash– Mat cares about little else than himself, unless you add money to the equation, for enough money you could probably make him do anything.

Trait 4: Quickdraw – He is very fast with his blaster and possesses deadly aim. Sometimes Mat makes shots that would seem beyond anyone's ability, some might call them flukes, Mat just grins and kisses the coin.

Trait 3: Reckless Flyer – Mat is a skilled flyer, but he’s also very reckless when he flies, performing moves that seem like they must be suicide. Leaving passengers wide eyed and their mind's reeling, thinking that if he had turned a fraction slower they would be goners, but he didn't.

Trait 1: Dang Conscience - Sometimes Mat just can't bring himself to carry out certain jobs that are especially heinous, especially if they involve children. His dang conscience gets in the way.

Extra Trait: (3)Smooth Talker - Mat's the kind of guy who can talk his way out of most situations. He usually knows just what to say to any given person, especially if they are of the female persuasion

Chi: 3/3

Personality:
Mat is a womanizer, he’s rarely alone on any given night, providing he's not on a job, and otherwise if he is alone it’s undoubtedly by choice. His tongue is honeyed and he frequently uses it to get himself out of trouble, not that he minds getting his hands dirty. On the whole one must remember that Mat is a man for hire, a rogue, and the deity he worships is the all mighty credit. He has no other master. He does what he does to get paid, no matter what the job. Mat is a quick thinker, well trained to think on his feet, which only aids his persuasive oral skills. Mat has a general disdain for the Upper Class, having found them to be rather untrustworthy in the past. Of course it may be more a feeling of jealousy than anything.


Background:
Mat never knew his parents, or can’t remember them if he ever did. His brother, Ben, raised him from a young age after his parents disappeared. It was his brother who taught him how to fly. Small things, like hovercrafts in the garbage dump where Ben worked. Mat loved it from the beginning, it was exhilarating. Mat began to pilot faster craft, though how he attained them wasn’t always legal. He started to sky race (like street racing, but you know, without the street) and slipped into the underworld. Spending his winnings on booze and gambling. He happened to be present at a certain card game where he won the speeder he pilots today. The fellow who had lost the ship was definitely not happy. Mat shoved the table at the man, as he reached for his blaster. Mat was faster, as the man crumpled to the floor Mat slid across the table, grabbing his new ship’s ignition chip in the process and was out the door.
"Suddenly Frodo noticed that a strange-looking weather-beaten man, sitting in the shadows near the wall, was also listening intently to the hobbit-talk. He had a tall tankard in front of him, and was smoking a long-stemmed pipe curiously carved. His legs were stretched out before him, showing high boots of supple leather that fitted him well, but had seen much wear and were now caked with mud. A travel-stained cloak of heavy dark-green cloth was drawn close about him, and in spite of the heat of the room he wore a hood that overshadowed his face; but the gleam of his eyes could be seen as he watched the hobbits."
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Belwicket » Thu May 19, 2011 2:42 pm

Edited! I love what I did with her initials this time.
They taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies, you little spies - You will release your life, joining with the god-damned world of the dead and the lonely. - Я сошла с ума, Mне нужна она
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Iris » Thu May 19, 2011 2:49 pm

Trait 5 still needs some work MLS, trait 5 is your motivation, the reason to why you are what you are effectively. My trait 5 is tied to my background and personality (and to Tacey). It's why he's cynical and why he continues to help Tacey.

You may want to work on your trait 1 and perhaps alter the name of your extra trait because when you say 'mind over matter' it normally implies that you can push through pain and the like.
If I'm not mistaken anyway.

You'll also alter your character's history, you still refer to her as Sapphire and I'd like to remind you that there are no cars with wheels as in this world everything flies more or less (or at least can hover)
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Belwicket » Thu May 19, 2011 2:53 pm

She really has no motivation. She just does what she wants. She's distracted by a lot of things, I can't list them all. And I was using a play on words with "Mind Over Matter". She thinks faster than she moves, though she moves fast.
They taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies, you little spies - You will release your life, joining with the god-damned world of the dead and the lonely. - Я сошла с ума, Mне нужна она
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Mother of darkness, mother of light, earth beneath us, soul in flight, songs of love and love of life, guide us to our heart.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Iris » Thu May 19, 2011 2:56 pm

Haha, you need to consider a couple things, why not have Lucy be motivated by her sister's death to make the city a better world? Prevent other's from suffering the same fate. Or perhaps something along those lines.

Without motivation you're not much of a rebel but then Vegedus did say you didn't need to be oart of either Cytek or a rebel force if I remember correctly. But if you are part of one it's easier to explain why you'd meet up with the other characters.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Belwicket » Thu May 19, 2011 3:02 pm

Random coincidence! She's walking around and stumbles into a fight?
They taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies, you little spies - You will release your life, joining with the god-damned world of the dead and the lonely. - Я сошла с ума, Mне нужна она
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Mother of darkness, mother of light, earth beneath us, soul in flight, songs of love and love of life, guide us to our heart.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Vegedus » Thu May 19, 2011 3:02 pm

She really has no motivation. She just does what she wants. She's distracted by a lot of things, I can't list them all. And I was using a play on words with "Mind Over Matter". She thinks faster than she moves, though she moves fast.


That's still not at all descriptive of the Trait in question. The names need to be evocative of what the trait does for easy reference during the game.

Sigh... No one "does what ever they want". It's a common roleplaying fallacy among newbie roleplayers who worship Chaotic Neutral. Everyone has motivations. Everyone has something they want to do, even if it's just "enjoy life".

For instance, right now I want to pass my exams and get a good education in the long run, and a job I'd like to have later on. You, yourself, seem fairly driven by your libido. Some people want to earn lots of money, some want to eat lots of different kinds of food, some want to travel the world. That's all examples of motivation. Your character can't not have one.

Besides, your new Trait 5 is even worse than the previous one. A Trait that's only relevant while she's sleeping isn't useful at all.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Iris » Thu May 19, 2011 3:04 pm

That's up to you in the end but remember when the RP starts we may all start at different ends of the city. The rebels would be given objectives to do, after all the plot does revolve around the conflict between Cytek and those that try to change the city of Athana.

Edit: If you don't mind a suggestion MLS, you could rename your extra to something like, 'Agile mind, short attention span'.
Just a suggestion though.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Belwicket » Thu May 19, 2011 3:05 pm

Vegedus wrote:
She really has no motivation. She just does what she wants. She's distracted by a lot of things, I can't list them all. And I was using a play on words with "Mind Over Matter". She thinks faster than she moves, though she moves fast.


That's still not at all descriptive of the Trait in question. The names need to be evocative of what the trait does for easy reference during the game.

Sigh... No one "does what ever they want". It's a common roleplaying fallacy among newbie roleplayers who worship Chaotic Neutral. Everyone has motivations. Everyone has something they want to do, even if it's just "enjoy life".

For instance, right now I want to pass my exams and get a good education in the long run, and a job I'd like to have later on. You, yourself, seem fairly driven by your libido. Some people want to earn lots of money, some want to eat lots of different kinds of food, some want to travel the world. That's all examples of motivation. Your character can't not have one.

Besides, your new Trait 5 is even worse than the previous one. A Trait that's only relevant while she's sleeping isn't useful at all.

Actually, most of my characters are CG, not CN. And Trait 5 would keep her sane in a world she has very few friends.
They taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies, you little spies - You will release your life, joining with the god-damned world of the dead and the lonely. - Я сошла с ума, Mне нужна она
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Mother of darkness, mother of light, earth beneath us, soul in flight, songs of love and love of life, guide us to our heart.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Vegedus » Thu May 19, 2011 3:08 pm

A trait doesn't matter if you can't use it actively. Can you give me an example of a conflict, where we use the Wushu rules, where it's relevant?

Oh, and Tuor officially accepted, btw. We've been pming, so his sheet has gone through the same gruelling editing process as yours :P
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Ionix Baelgos » Thu May 19, 2011 3:49 pm

Vegedus wrote:Hm, people keep popping up. Cool.

@Ionix Baelgos:

I don't have a lot to say, actually. It's a fine character and you seem to have a good handle on the setting.

I'd normally like the Trait 5 to be a bit more specific, but I guess it works with his impulsive nature.

It's cool that you want to reserve your extra trait, but note that you'll get chances to get new traits as the RP progress, so you don't have to hold on to it too long.

The personality section is a bit muddled and confusing since he's both shy, cunning, stubborn, rational, goal-oriented, emotional affected, impulsive and idealistic. Perhaps try to draw some clearer, broader strokes about how he is, and mention what some of those ideals would be.

Also, just to confirm, he's currently unemployed, vengeful at Cytek (but not at Surgers), and haven't yet, but might join a rebel group when he finds out why they are there, correct?

[Ionix sloppily edited this post].


Alrighty. For starters, I would love to touch him up some. Also, thank you!

As for trait 5, I am on the fence about it, so I think I'll go with your opinion on this one. I want to be specific, but that sort of doesn't fit the flavor. I had to think a while about it. I may try to reword it a little if that'll help.

I also was debating whether my extra trait will end up being a strength or a weakness, then was like 'welll, the game would likely help me define it better than just a concept'.

Personality wise, I definitely am going to touch that up. I didn't mean to make him sound muddled- the shyness in particular is more internal than it is external. I'll try to edit it to make it seem a bit more clear. @_@ I got a bit into character writing him, and the character seems to speak faster than I do and type.

Also, to confirm, yes. He is unemployed and has a grudge against Cytek, who he feels has some level of responsibility for his deformity. He doesn't seem to have a view of all surgers, but he probably harbors some extra fear of them, if only out of experience.

If a rebel group were seeming at least neutral (toward good-ish) and offering to assist him in finding answers, he may very well sign up with them.

I hope that answers all questions! I'll get revising right away! If I finish before long, I'll just put in a [EDIT].

[EDIT]: Think I got it now. @_@
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Belwicket » Thu May 19, 2011 3:58 pm

Well, I can't think of anything else. Unless you're willing to give me ideas, that's the best I can do. I already added the "enjoy life" part in her personality.
They taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies, you little spies - You will release your life, joining with the god-damned world of the dead and the lonely. - Я сошла с ума, Mне нужна она
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Mother of darkness, mother of light, earth beneath us, soul in flight, songs of love and love of life, guide us to our heart.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Tuor » Thu May 19, 2011 4:00 pm

You can use aspects of the personality in trait 5. I did that.
"Suddenly Frodo noticed that a strange-looking weather-beaten man, sitting in the shadows near the wall, was also listening intently to the hobbit-talk. He had a tall tankard in front of him, and was smoking a long-stemmed pipe curiously carved. His legs were stretched out before him, showing high boots of supple leather that fitted him well, but had seen much wear and were now caked with mud. A travel-stained cloak of heavy dark-green cloth was drawn close about him, and in spite of the heat of the room he wore a hood that overshadowed his face; but the gleam of his eyes could be seen as he watched the hobbits."
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Belwicket » Thu May 19, 2011 4:09 pm

Such as?
They taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies, you little spies - You will release your life, joining with the god-damned world of the dead and the lonely. - Я сошла с ума, Mне нужна она
Innuendo Squad's Resident Lesbian
Mother of darkness, mother of light, earth beneath us, soul in flight, songs of love and love of life, guide us to our heart.
We all come from the Goddess and to her we shall return like a drop of rain flowing to the ocean.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Iris » Thu May 19, 2011 4:16 pm

Perhaps she's motivated to get stronger, after all in your personality you say that she's normally helped by a good Samaritan or a friend. After all she did see her sister die in front of her, maybe because of that she wanted to be stronger (emotionally or otherwise) so that she can prevent that from happening again to others.

Things along those lines really.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Belwicket » Thu May 19, 2011 4:17 pm

Makes sense. I'll do something like that.
They taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies, you little spies - You will release your life, joining with the god-damned world of the dead and the lonely. - Я сошла с ума, Mне нужна она
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Mother of darkness, mother of light, earth beneath us, soul in flight, songs of love and love of life, guide us to our heart.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Vegedus » Thu May 19, 2011 4:22 pm

A fair amount of examples have been given earlier, as well.

And as Tuor said, redundancy isn't a problem. Something you mention in the personality section can make for a good trait.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Ionix Baelgos » Thu May 19, 2011 5:05 pm

I am kind of curious- (after updating everything)- how many rebel groups are there, roughly estimated?
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Belwicket » Thu May 19, 2011 5:09 pm

Just tell me when she's good. I'll be adding and editing all day.
They taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies, you little spies - You will release your life, joining with the god-damned world of the dead and the lonely. - Я сошла с ума, Mне нужна она
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Mother of darkness, mother of light, earth beneath us, soul in flight, songs of love and love of life, guide us to our heart.
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Iris » Thu May 19, 2011 5:15 pm

I'll give you a hand if you want MLS. I've got the time tomorrow (it's about 12:15am) so if you still need help I'd be happy to give you some advice through PM's, if Vegedus isn't doing so already :P
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Re: Wushu: After the End [OOC] Sign-ups veeeery open

Postby Belwicket » Thu May 19, 2011 5:17 pm

Sure thing, Iris. Send me one now and I'll copy-paste my CS, we can work on it there.
They taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies, you little spies - You will release your life, joining with the god-damned world of the dead and the lonely. - Я сошла с ума, Mне нужна она
Innuendo Squad's Resident Lesbian
Mother of darkness, mother of light, earth beneath us, soul in flight, songs of love and love of life, guide us to our heart.
We all come from the Goddess and to her we shall return like a drop of rain flowing to the ocean.
High Queen Dovahkiin
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