You have no idea how to explain the shape of her face? The shape of her eyes? How long exactly is her hair? If she's thin and short, exactly how curvy is she? What do her scars look like? You say she wears clothes, but don't expand on what she wears. Should I assume she's wearing a bag, or a cotton bikini? You're missing so much basic information it feels like I'm reading something written by an elementary schooler.

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Zath: Behold, Karo: The only woman in existence who can make Fenix shut the fuck up.
Redsnow: That, and, frankly, if Karo doesn't like you that much, your character is probably going to die soon after his acceptance anyway.
Keiran: Bad RPs don't get picked, unmemberable RPs get ignored.
Zelosse: I don't usually laugh at blatant attitude, but when I do. It usually involves Karo.

Not specific enough?

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They taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies, you little spies - You will release your life, joining with the god-damned world of the dead and the lonely. - Я сошла с ума, Mне нужна она
Innuendo Squad's Resident Lesbian
Mother of darkness, mother of light, earth beneath us, soul in flight, songs of love and love of light, guide us to our heart.
We all come from the Goddess and to her we shall return like a drop of rain flowing to the ocean.

Not nearly. I never play girls and I know more you could add.

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Kei: Gotta love Finland. <3

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Zath: Behold, Karo: The only woman in existence who can make Fenix shut the fuck up.
Redsnow: That, and, frankly, if Karo doesn't like you that much, your character is probably going to die soon after his acceptance anyway.
Keiran: Bad RPs don't get picked, unmemberable RPs get ignored.
Zelosse: I don't usually laugh at blatant attitude, but when I do. It usually involves Karo.

Well, Keiran, what would you add? Only things I can think are specific measurements.

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They taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies, you little spies - You will release your life, joining with the god-damned world of the dead and the lonely. - Я сошла с ума, Mне нужна она
Innuendo Squad's Resident Lesbian
Mother of darkness, mother of light, earth beneath us, soul in flight, songs of love and love of light, guide us to our heart.
We all come from the Goddess and to her we shall return like a drop of rain flowing to the ocean.

The trick to any CS is bloating it up with pointless words that just add a 'thickness' to the sheet without actually adding anything. Makes it look less... barren.

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"But when one of it's baby chicks is in trouble, Momma comes a run'nin' and a squawkin and a run'nin''." -General Treistar

Yes, gotta love the axe-swinging mute.

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Well, then, help me, please.

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They taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies, you little spies - You will release your life, joining with the god-damned world of the dead and the lonely. - Я сошла с ума, Mне нужна она
Innuendo Squad's Resident Lesbian
Mother of darkness, mother of light, earth beneath us, soul in flight, songs of love and love of light, guide us to our heart.
We all come from the Goddess and to her we shall return like a drop of rain flowing to the ocean.

You! Hush. The point is to prove you have more brain cells than a squirrel, and can use the english language in such a way as to allow someone else to perfectly visualize your character.

@MLS: People have been helping you. Listen to them.

@Kei: Except he's not mute at all.

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Zath: Behold, Karo: The only woman in existence who can make Fenix shut the fuck up.
Redsnow: That, and, frankly, if Karo doesn't like you that much, your character is probably going to die soon after his acceptance anyway.
Keiran: Bad RPs don't get picked, unmemberable RPs get ignored.
Zelosse: I don't usually laugh at blatant attitude, but when I do. It usually involves Karo.

True, you just can't hear him over everyone else screaming.

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Hey, squirrels are pretty smart you know... Oh, wait.

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Zath: Behold, Karo: The only woman in existence who can make Fenix shut the fuck up.
Redsnow: That, and, frankly, if Karo doesn't like you that much, your character is probably going to die soon after his acceptance anyway.
Keiran: Bad RPs don't get picked, unmemberable RPs get ignored.
Zelosse: I don't usually laugh at blatant attitude, but when I do. It usually involves Karo.

I edited her again with help from the DMs I live with. Is she better? I'll try to think of something else for her last 5 skills.

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They taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies, you little spies - You will release your life, joining with the god-damned world of the dead and the lonely. - Я сошла с ума, Mне нужна она
Innuendo Squad's Resident Lesbian
Mother of darkness, mother of light, earth beneath us, soul in flight, songs of love and love of light, guide us to our heart.
We all come from the Goddess and to her we shall return like a drop of rain flowing to the ocean.

Hold my tail I think I'm gonna barf.

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Fenix13: Remember this well Gareth: With great power... comes hot bitches.

Garethcool: I WILL BECOME YOUR MANSLAVE.
Sam4books: That's the plan ;D

Your CS earns a resounding Meh. I don't accept meh.

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Zath: Behold, Karo: The only woman in existence who can make Fenix shut the fuck up.
Redsnow: That, and, frankly, if Karo doesn't like you that much, your character is probably going to die soon after his acceptance anyway.
Keiran: Bad RPs don't get picked, unmemberable RPs get ignored.
Zelosse: I don't usually laugh at blatant attitude, but when I do. It usually involves Karo.

She's not finished yet but she is much better than when I started. I still have some tweaks to make plus her last 5 powers.

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They taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies, you little spies - You will release your life, joining with the god-damned world of the dead and the lonely. - Я сошла с ума, Mне нужна она
Innuendo Squad's Resident Lesbian
Mother of darkness, mother of light, earth beneath us, soul in flight, songs of love and love of light, guide us to our heart.
We all come from the Goddess and to her we shall return like a drop of rain flowing to the ocean.

You can tweak her powers as much as you want, but it's still Meh. Your lack of ability to describe the basics of how a person even looks astounds me.

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Zath: Behold, Karo: The only woman in existence who can make Fenix shut the fuck up.
Redsnow: That, and, frankly, if Karo doesn't like you that much, your character is probably going to die soon after his acceptance anyway.
Keiran: Bad RPs don't get picked, unmemberable RPs get ignored.
Zelosse: I don't usually laugh at blatant attitude, but when I do. It usually involves Karo.

She described the physical characteristics of her character more than Geo did, but mkay

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What else could I put? Only other thing I can think of is if I add in specific measurements.


I did?

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They taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies, you little spies - You will release your life, joining with the god-damned world of the dead and the lonely. - Я сошла с ума, Mне нужна она
Innuendo Squad's Resident Lesbian
Mother of darkness, mother of light, earth beneath us, soul in flight, songs of love and love of light, guide us to our heart.
We all come from the Goddess and to her we shall return like a drop of rain flowing to the ocean.

The difference being I know exactly what Geo's capable of, and last time I checked, I decide how to admit people into my game. She's new and has shown me in no uncertain terms that being hard on her is the only way to get what I want from her.

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Zath: Behold, Karo: The only woman in existence who can make Fenix shut the fuck up.
Redsnow: That, and, frankly, if Karo doesn't like you that much, your character is probably going to die soon after his acceptance anyway.
Keiran: Bad RPs don't get picked, unmemberable RPs get ignored.
Zelosse: I don't usually laugh at blatant attitude, but when I do. It usually involves Karo.

Being hard on me is 1 way of it, yes, but I would not prefer it.

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They taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies, you little spies - You will release your life, joining with the god-damned world of the dead and the lonely. - Я сошла с ума, Mне нужна она
Innuendo Squad's Resident Lesbian
Mother of darkness, mother of light, earth beneath us, soul in flight, songs of love and love of light, guide us to our heart.
We all come from the Goddess and to her we shall return like a drop of rain flowing to the ocean.

I would prefer players who took my advice the first time I gave it, instead of having to give it repeatedly and then watch my other players have to repeat what I've said in order for one person to get a clue.

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Zath: Behold, Karo: The only woman in existence who can make Fenix shut the fuck up.
Redsnow: That, and, frankly, if Karo doesn't like you that much, your character is probably going to die soon after his acceptance anyway.
Keiran: Bad RPs don't get picked, unmemberable RPs get ignored.
Zelosse: I don't usually laugh at blatant attitude, but when I do. It usually involves Karo.

What did I miss?

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They taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies, you little spies - You will release your life, joining with the god-damned world of the dead and the lonely. - Я сошла с ума, Mне нужна она
Innuendo Squad's Resident Lesbian
Mother of darkness, mother of light, earth beneath us, soul in flight, songs of love and love of light, guide us to our heart.
We all come from the Goddess and to her we shall return like a drop of rain flowing to the ocean.

I've pointed it out several times. Also, your skills for 25 and 30 are unacceptable.

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Zath: Behold, Karo: The only woman in existence who can make Fenix shut the fuck up.
Redsnow: That, and, frankly, if Karo doesn't like you that much, your character is probably going to die soon after his acceptance anyway.
Keiran: Bad RPs don't get picked, unmemberable RPs get ignored.
Zelosse: I don't usually laugh at blatant attitude, but when I do. It usually involves Karo.

Move them up higher?

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They taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies, you little spies - You will release your life, joining with the god-damned world of the dead and the lonely. - Я сошла с ума, Mне нужна она
Innuendo Squad's Resident Lesbian
Mother of darkness, mother of light, earth beneath us, soul in flight, songs of love and love of light, guide us to our heart.
We all come from the Goddess and to her we shall return like a drop of rain flowing to the ocean.