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 Post subject: Re: Dreamscape OOC Open
PostPosted: Thu May 05, 2011 2:30 pm 
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NO! Save your purity Fummo!

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For the king, For the king, For the sake of Skyrim. For the Nine, for the hope of High Hrothgar's pass, and for all of Sovngarde; Where the souls sing your song. For the king, For our King, who will guard Hrothgar! Dovahkiin, Dovahkiin, naal ok zin los vahriin, wah dein vokul mahfaeraak ahst vaal!
Ahrk fin norok paal graan, fod nust hon zindro zaan, Dovahkiin, fah hin kogaan mu draal!


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 Post subject: Re: Dreamscape OOC Open
PostPosted: Thu May 05, 2011 5:02 pm 
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Fummofu wrote:
Lol

Thanks Karo.
I'm gonna look at MLS's one...

Look at hers, then compare it to everyone else's. Your CS should look like everyone else's.

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Redsnow: That, and, frankly, if Karo doesn't like you that much, your character is probably going to die soon after his acceptance anyway.
Keiran: Bad RPs don't get picked, unmemberable RPs get ignored.
Zelosse: I don't usually laugh at blatant attitude, but when I do. It usually involves Karo.


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 Post subject: Re: Dreamscape OOC Open
PostPosted: Thu May 05, 2011 5:27 pm 
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Well, I've added everything I could think of from what people have told me, what else do I need?

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 Post subject: Re: Dreamscape OOC Open
PostPosted: Thu May 05, 2011 5:29 pm 
Mephobia
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You did not add everything we told you... in fact, you pretty much did absolutely nothing with the advice given
If you had really taken our advice, you would've had a good CS by now

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 Post subject: Re: Dreamscape OOC Open
PostPosted: Thu May 05, 2011 5:36 pm 
The happy fish says hello to the angry gopher
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I read it and wrote what I thought you meant.

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They taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies, you little spies - You will release your life, joining with the god-damned world of the dead and the lonely. - Я сошла с ума, Mне нужна она
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Mother of darkness, mother of light, earth beneath us, soul in flight, songs of love and love of light, guide us to our heart.
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 Post subject: Re: Dreamscape OOC Open
PostPosted: Thu May 05, 2011 5:41 pm 
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You wrote 2 paragraphs of description (Pictures aren't worth shit)? Did the invisible sniper mods delete it beforre we could read? Did they delete the skills to? And the fighting style?

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For the king, For the king, For the sake of Skyrim. For the Nine, for the hope of High Hrothgar's pass, and for all of Sovngarde; Where the souls sing your song. For the king, For our King, who will guard Hrothgar! Dovahkiin, Dovahkiin, naal ok zin los vahriin, wah dein vokul mahfaeraak ahst vaal!
Ahrk fin norok paal graan, fod nust hon zindro zaan, Dovahkiin, fah hin kogaan mu draal!


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 Post subject: Re: Dreamscape OOC Open
PostPosted: Thu May 05, 2011 5:51 pm 
The happy fish says hello to the angry gopher
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I'm constantly editing her, trying to think of stuff and what's not there is unfinished.

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They taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies, you little spies - You will release your life, joining with the god-damned world of the dead and the lonely. - Я сошла с ума, Mне нужна она
Innuendo Squad's Resident Lesbian
Mother of darkness, mother of light, earth beneath us, soul in flight, songs of love and love of light, guide us to our heart.
We all come from the Goddess and to her we shall return like a drop of rain flowing to the ocean.


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 Post subject: Re: Dreamscape OOC Open
PostPosted: Thu May 05, 2011 5:56 pm 
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Then you should only notify us once you've completed your CS. Try to make at least two paragraphs in your appearance, my own has three.

If you need some help with that here is my suggestion on how to separate each paragraph. My opening paragraph focuses on his physical description so his eye color, skin, hair, etc. It is then followed by what clothes he wears, what state they are in and why they are like that. The final paragraph is for stand outs, so for me it's the reasons to why he normally carries so few items with him (when he's drunk he 'accidentally' loses his items.


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 Post subject: Re: Dreamscape OOC Open
PostPosted: Thu May 05, 2011 6:02 pm 
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That makes sense. I'll edit her again.

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They taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies, you little spies - You will release your life, joining with the god-damned world of the dead and the lonely. - Я сошла с ума, Mне нужна она
Innuendo Squad's Resident Lesbian
Mother of darkness, mother of light, earth beneath us, soul in flight, songs of love and love of light, guide us to our heart.
We all come from the Goddess and to her we shall return like a drop of rain flowing to the ocean.


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 Post subject: Re: Dreamscape OOC Open
PostPosted: Thu May 05, 2011 6:07 pm 
Mephobia
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See, you don't take advice. We've told you numerous times to take a look at our CSs to get an idea of how to do it properly, and you clearly didn't do it. It took yet another explanation to get you to understand it.

And even now I'm wondering just how far you're really going to take that advice

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 Post subject: Re: Dreamscape OOC Open
PostPosted: Thu May 05, 2011 6:25 pm 
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I'm working on her right now. I'm trying to think of anything I could add, I've looked at everyone else and thought of nothing.

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They taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies, you little spies - You will release your life, joining with the god-damned world of the dead and the lonely. - Я сошла с ума, Mне нужна она
Innuendo Squad's Resident Lesbian
Mother of darkness, mother of light, earth beneath us, soul in flight, songs of love and love of light, guide us to our heart.
We all come from the Goddess and to her we shall return like a drop of rain flowing to the ocean.


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 Post subject: Re: Dreamscape OOC Open
PostPosted: Thu May 05, 2011 6:26 pm 
Mephobia
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Then you're horribly uncreative.... see your character in your mind, and describe what you see
How hard could that possibly be?

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 Post subject: Re: Dreamscape OOC Open
PostPosted: Thu May 05, 2011 8:13 pm 
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I like cupcakes.

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 Post subject: Re: Dreamscape OOC Open
PostPosted: Thu May 05, 2011 9:08 pm 
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I like turtles

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For the king, For the king, For the sake of Skyrim. For the Nine, for the hope of High Hrothgar's pass, and for all of Sovngarde; Where the souls sing your song. For the king, For our King, who will guard Hrothgar! Dovahkiin, Dovahkiin, naal ok zin los vahriin, wah dein vokul mahfaeraak ahst vaal!
Ahrk fin norok paal graan, fod nust hon zindro zaan, Dovahkiin, fah hin kogaan mu draal!


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 Post subject: Re: Dreamscape OOC Open
PostPosted: Thu May 05, 2011 9:54 pm 
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Asmodai wrote:
Then you're horribly uncreative.... see your character in your mind, and describe what you see
How hard could that possibly be?

I don't see every little detail.

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They taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies, you little spies - You will release your life, joining with the god-damned world of the dead and the lonely. - Я сошла с ума, Mне нужна она
Innuendo Squad's Resident Lesbian
Mother of darkness, mother of light, earth beneath us, soul in flight, songs of love and love of light, guide us to our heart.
We all come from the Goddess and to her we shall return like a drop of rain flowing to the ocean.


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 Post subject: Re: Dreamscape OOC Open
PostPosted: Thu May 05, 2011 10:21 pm 
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If you want a skin and bones version of what it takes to get in look at my CS here Nathyne Hawkstrider

I spent most of my time on the skills section, as it's pretty important, but the other areas are bare minimum.

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 Post subject: Re: Dreamscape OOC Open
PostPosted: Thu May 05, 2011 11:22 pm 
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I edited her again, think she's close to acceptable.

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They taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies, you little spies - You will release your life, joining with the god-damned world of the dead and the lonely. - Я сошла с ума, Mне нужна она
Innuendo Squad's Resident Lesbian
Mother of darkness, mother of light, earth beneath us, soul in flight, songs of love and love of light, guide us to our heart.
We all come from the Goddess and to her we shall return like a drop of rain flowing to the ocean.


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 Post subject: Re: Dreamscape OOC Open
PostPosted: Fri May 06, 2011 5:17 am 
Mephobia
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I have to say, you're getting there... although her skills irk me, why does she have so many mage like spells when she's a rogue?
I'd advice you to take less magic type skills, and focus more on physical skills. Think Dash, Sprint, Throwing Knives and all that

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 Post subject: Re: Dreamscape OOC Open
PostPosted: Fri May 06, 2011 11:33 am 
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Nice improvements to your CS... MLS

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 Post subject: Re: Dreamscape OOC Open
PostPosted: Fri May 06, 2011 8:13 pm 
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Hooray! MLS Is taking leaps and bounds! However I'd have to agree with how Mage like you are so I'm just going to straight up help you on that.

   Instead of having energy tornados have a semi thin metal string attached to the end of eah onenof your weapons. Tornado would instead be spinning one of your weapons in a tornado like fashion (either in a circle or even doing X slashes with them). Double tornado shouldn't need explaining if you payed attention to what I said already. Add the string in the weapons catagory and simply state that she has an extra bundle strapped to her side like a cowboy and his lasso incase the strig ever breaks. There the most obvious magic ability is gone.   

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For the king, For the king, For the sake of Skyrim. For the Nine, for the hope of High Hrothgar's pass, and for all of Sovngarde; Where the souls sing your song. For the king, For our King, who will guard Hrothgar! Dovahkiin, Dovahkiin, naal ok zin los vahriin, wah dein vokul mahfaeraak ahst vaal!
Ahrk fin norok paal graan, fod nust hon zindro zaan, Dovahkiin, fah hin kogaan mu draal!


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 Post subject: Re: Dreamscape OOC Open
PostPosted: Sat May 07, 2011 4:05 am 
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I was thinking that over the course of the RP she'd possibly get new weapons by the time she was able to use the Tornado skill. However, if that's the only thing I have to change, I will edit her again if the GM says so, as well as anything else she tells me to.

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They taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies, you little spies - You will release your life, joining with the god-damned world of the dead and the lonely. - Я сошла с ума, Mне нужна она
Innuendo Squad's Resident Lesbian
Mother of darkness, mother of light, earth beneath us, soul in flight, songs of love and love of light, guide us to our heart.
We all come from the Goddess and to her we shall return like a drop of rain flowing to the ocean.


Last edited by Belwicket on Sun May 08, 2011 9:13 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Dreamscape OOC Open
PostPosted: Sat May 07, 2011 9:11 am 
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Karo's a she.

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For the king, For the king, For the sake of Skyrim. For the Nine, for the hope of High Hrothgar's pass, and for all of Sovngarde; Where the souls sing your song. For the king, For our King, who will guard Hrothgar! Dovahkiin, Dovahkiin, naal ok zin los vahriin, wah dein vokul mahfaeraak ahst vaal!
Ahrk fin norok paal graan, fod nust hon zindro zaan, Dovahkiin, fah hin kogaan mu draal!


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 Post subject: Re: Dreamscape OOC Open
PostPosted: Mon May 09, 2011 2:09 pm 
The happy fish says hello to the angry gopher
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Alright, right now i'm trying to think of better powers for some of the others I don't like as much.

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They taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies, you little spies - You will release your life, joining with the god-damned world of the dead and the lonely. - Я сошла с ума, Mне нужна она
Innuendo Squad's Resident Lesbian
Mother of darkness, mother of light, earth beneath us, soul in flight, songs of love and love of light, guide us to our heart.
We all come from the Goddess and to her we shall return like a drop of rain flowing to the ocean.


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 Post subject: Re: Dreamscape OOC Open
PostPosted: Mon May 09, 2011 7:59 pm 
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It's marginally more acceptable. What she looks like physically needs more explanation, and your skills thus far are absolute garbage.

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Zath: Behold, Karo: The only woman in existence who can make Fenix shut the fuck up.
Redsnow: That, and, frankly, if Karo doesn't like you that much, your character is probably going to die soon after his acceptance anyway.
Keiran: Bad RPs don't get picked, unmemberable RPs get ignored.
Zelosse: I don't usually laugh at blatant attitude, but when I do. It usually involves Karo.


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 Post subject: Re: Dreamscape OOC Open
PostPosted: Mon May 09, 2011 10:05 pm 
The happy fish says hello to the angry gopher
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I don't know what else to do about her appearance. Her powers, however, I have many ideas but I don't know which ones would be acceptable.

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They taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies, you little spies - You will release your life, joining with the god-damned world of the dead and the lonely. - Я сошла с ума, Mне нужна она
Innuendo Squad's Resident Lesbian
Mother of darkness, mother of light, earth beneath us, soul in flight, songs of love and love of light, guide us to our heart.
We all come from the Goddess and to her we shall return like a drop of rain flowing to the ocean.


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