Joined: Tue Nov 27, 2007 6:22 pm
Location: Eating Fried Squirrels-They are delicious
Ezekiel Strahm (He hates his first name with a passion though, so please, always refer to him as Zeke)Gender:
26 years oldAppearance:Personality: "I'm not the kind of guy you'd want to hang out in a bar with. I'm not the kind of guy you'd watch the game with after a hard day's work. I'm certainly not the kind of guy you'd let fuck your sister. No, I'm the kind of guy you'd take one look at and go to your friend, ‘Wow, that guy's a dick.’
Yup. I'm that guy.”
A self described jerk, and he does not care what anybody has to say about it. Zeke is generally annoyed by people, and his reasons are simple; “I have a low tolerance for people and their stupid bullshit”
. He did have his friends in high school, but he doesn't keep contact with them much. As of the present day he has zero need for friends, and rather likes it that way. Stuff like that only brings him down. When it comes to life, he doesn't want anybody all up in his business, it's as simple as that. Unfortunately people seem to not get this. Which is why the thirty second mark exists in the first place. But it's not like he won't give friendship a chance, he's just stubborn. Things have
to be done his way, or at least give him a choice in the matter. Zeke isn't the type to just let people tell him what to do without any good reason. And if you have a good reason for anything, or something good to say, chances are you'll be that person to have a fleeting chance with Zeke. Otherwise, the cop will humbly request that you "shut the fuck up". Usually this applies to him doing you favors as well.
When it comes to work, he's pretty good at his job. Call it "intuition", but Zeke has this natural ability to judge people and judge them correctly, something that helped him out more than once. According to him, he just knows how people are. "And I'll be damned if it turns like I've been wrong about everyone I met all this time."
Though he has been wrong a couple of times (more than a couple actually), but he doesn't like to mention such things. In fact, if he does end up being wrong about you, Zeke isn't up for making amends. He's a bit strict about stuff like that, since he doesn't want to look more like a jerk than he already is. A guy needs to have values after all. Similarly if you help him out, he'll find a way to pay you back for it (he has a bad history with debt), give or take a few months (usually when he does help people out is when he sees that they really need it, otherwise you're on your own). Naturally, he's also a bit genre savvy about certain situations. Almost to the point of predicting things before they happen and going, "Yeah, I told you so." He sees this as a curse, since life isn't a wondrous thing full of surprises anymore. Secretly, he wishes people will just prove him wrong.
If you don't find him lazily standing in a corner, giving you the evil eye every now and then, odds are he's in the bar helping himself to wine, his favorite alcoholic beverage, playing punk rock at full blast in his ears. And he won't give a fuck.Historical Data:"Ezekiel Strahm was born in a rural area near the woods, secluded from everyday life. Such a location was secluded, with hardly any civilization abound. As personal documents state, subject was unsettled by the constant silence, and the clear, recognizable sounds produced in its wake."Oh, can you feel the irony...
Actually, no. I like big cities, traffic and shit. All that noise drowns out every annoying fart, cough, and heavy breathing. Frankly, things are better dealt with within a large crowd of busy, self centered assholes.""At the age of thirteen, subject and family moved to the big city. Subject's nights of sleeps have improved since then. He became less afraid, more often, but was rather shy.""For the record, I ain't afraid of no God damned boogieman.""Ezekiel Strahm never socialized much. Would rather stay indoors and play video games then hang out with peers. Or watch cartoons on the television. Subject was especially interested in action.""Two words: Fucking Cowboys.""First instance of actual socialization: Freshman year of high school. Subject was in love with a girl in his class, Ashley Silvia. They were both Freshmen-""Alright, before this continues any further...who the hell got a hold of my psychiatrist's records?
...What? I can't try to hook up with the ladies every now and then?""She was killed on the night of the first date.""...*sighs*""The killer will soon become Ezekiel's nemesis on the homeland. Killer Identity: Albert Conaghan.
Subject then becomes secluded, almost juvenile, and highly disruptive in school. Insubordinate towards everybody, stubborn, smart-mouthed. He rebelled against authority by skipping classes, hanging out in the park. Had his own gang of 'buddies'.""Alright, not the part of my life I'm most proud of. Who the hell thought it was good idea to include this anyways? Is this somebody's idea of a joke? 'Cause I ain't laughing.""Phase continued until the summer before Senior year. Ezekiel Strahm and his friends were attacked by a gang at their normal hideout. They were within the gang's territory. Ezekiel managed to escape, but one of his friends were fatally injured and had to be rushed to the hospital. Once, at the hospital, the doctors questioned Ezekiel.
He lied.""Wow, this makes lying sound like a bad thing. Well the fuck was I supposed to do? I was a complete douchebag who didn't want to explain what the hell we were doing in gang territory in the first place! God damn. What is this; historical data or a scandalous article?""The next day, Ezekiel Strahm would meet a man at a music store. He did not know it at the moment, but the man was a cop off duty.""But man, that guy was fucking amazing. See, he actually collected cowboy hats. How cool is that? Would you blame me if I looked up to him as the most awesome person in the world?""The man could see he had problems, it was almost as if he was psychic. He offered to give the boy some closure, and even pay for his rather interesting music choices. The boy agreed, but he was not thinking about the chance for closure.""Be honest, is there any reason why people should be surprised by this? And this report is starting to creep me out. How the hell did it know what I was thinking about? That was about ten years ago!""The man revealed himself to be a police officer halfway into the conversation. Ezekiel feared that somehow the policeman was here to arrest him, though he never even heard of Ezekiel's endeavors.""I was a juvenile delinquent. He was a cop off duty. You do the math.""The policeman saw potential within Ezekiel, and asked him what he thought of the police.""I told him about my childhood fantasies during the lonely bits of my life (fuck, I was always lonely). I told him about watching chase scenes on horseback, fights on top of trains, the thrill of saving the damsel from being overrun by a fucking train. I told him about how I enjoyed watching the Dark Knight kick some ass in the batmobile. I always saw the police in a glorified light. Whenever the cops would pitch in and help out the good guys... THAT was awesome to me. You couldn't do any better than that.""After hinting that he thought Ezekiel should enter Police Academy. Ezekiel didn't think much of it, but the next time he heard of his friend he was pronounced dead. The worst part of it was that the rest of Ezekiel's buddies didn't seem to care. Ezekiel became angered by this, and denounced his friends, thereby preferring to be left alone.
After high school, Ezekiel went to college for Criminal Justice, earning his degree at the age of twenty-one.""I went straight into the Police Academy after that. As it turns out, I had a natural affinity for being judgmental...and right. Unfortunately I just made a lot of dumb decisions. My college days was pretty much me watching a bunch of Crime and Punishment series; CSI, Law and Order, Criminal Minds, Dexter, Wiseguy, 24, Mission Impossible... Ya know, the usual crap. I even researched some real life cases. Eventually I became what the people on the internet would call 'Dangerously Genre Savvy'. Bullshit. There is nothing dangerous about knowing what to fucking expect. Generally, I kept away from people. All they did was fucking annoy me. Not even during Police Academy did I try to make friends. Frankly, I was done with them.""Once he graduated from Police Academy, he found work as a police officer in his city's Department. At first, all he did was patrol the perimeter and controlled traffic.""That crap was as boring as shit. Nothing happened while I was on duty, and I could have sworn a couple of times that all the other guys in the Department got all the action. I didn't even find a guy standing in the grass when there was a sign that clearly stated 'DON'T STAND ON GRASS'. Yes, not even that.""That is until Mr. Conaghan reappeared, within a police report detailing the cases of a couple of rape victims, all of them young girls. Mr. Conaghan was listed as a prime suspect, after three accounts of being acquitted of rape. The third time landed him in jail for only five years. Ezekiel Strahm 'humbly' requested that he would be the one to arrest him.""I don't know why I wanted to be the one. Something about his face irked me, made me mad. It was almost like years of repressed anger was churning its ugly head.""Thanks to a recommendation from a higher ranking officer who knew his abilities, Ezekiel managed to be given permission to join the strike team that would be immobilizing against Mr. Conaghan. A detective informed the team of a tip that Conaghan was hiding out in a local warehouse. The team planned accordingly.""I was psyched. I was so fucking excited. This was going to be my first arrest, my first chase, my first one on one stand off. Naturally, of course, things didn't go as well as I thought they would be. The fucker managed to escape, and we only managed to get one shot at him. I was pissed. There was no way the guys at the Department would let me go with the strike force. I was reduced back to patrol duty.""Ezekiel became obsessed with hunting Mr. Conaghan down, it seemed like the only thing he ever thought of those days. He even claimed to hear him, at the back of his mind, taunting him. COME FIND ME ZEKE. The police officer became so desperate that he started investigating the case himself, with no regard for the detectives working on the case. It was then that the shocking revelation that this the man who killed Ashley came to him.""I found him. I killed him. It felt so good. I hated the fucking bastard. He was trash for all I cared. I didn't even care that I was put on probation for my actions, and almost went to court.""A mystery man vouched for Ezekiel, offering the government money in the place of his innocence, Ezekiel would never learn this man's identity. When he was lifted from probation, he was presented with a partner, who was a few years older than him, named Lizzie.""Oh God, Lizzie. She was annoying as fuck, but you had to love her. Most of the time she would baby me and treat me like I was her son. That shit can get on your nerves after awhile. But she was my partner, and the first friend I had after a long time.""A year later, Lizzie would be killed during an investigation.""It was a fucking hit and run. Shot her right in the chest. There was nothing I could do. I tried calling the medics, but they got there too late. She was gone. She was fucking gone.""Ezekiel requested that he took some vacation time off. During his vacation, he heard about SS13, and decided that there was no better way to spend a vacation, then out in the vast reaches of Space.""I thought, 'why the fuck not?' I wanted to be as far away from civilization as possible at that moment before I did something stupid and I lose someone else. I thought I needed some alone time, Space was supposed to be a lonely place for lonely people. It was perfect.
You can bet your sorry ass I was scared. I was borderline terrified. Space was practically the king of all silent places with the whole vacuum thing going on. But on the other hand, I needed some sort of escape from the damn world so I chose the lesser of two evils.""Ezekiel would decide to apply for Security Officer of the Space Station 13 at the age of twenty-six."Theme Songs:Normal ThemeBattle/Chase Theme
Most entertaining CS yet. Thanks for the inspiration Iris.
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Last edited by sam4books on Wed Jan 19, 2011 7:45 pm, edited 2 times in total.