sam4books wrote:
I'm tempted to make a comic to the song
"It sucks to be me".
Here's the script, btw :3
Code:
Assistant:
What do you do with the BA in Engineering?
What is my life going to be?
4 years of college,
And plenty of knowledge,
Have earned me this useless degree.
I can’t pay the bills yet,
‘Cause I have no skills yet.
The universe is a big scary place.
Somehow I can’t shake,
The feeling I might make,
A difference to the human race.
Dr. Ellie:
‘Morning Squiggles!
Squiggles:
Hi, Dr. Ellie.
Dr. Ellie:
How’s life?
Squiggles:
Disappointing!
Dr. Ellie:
What’s the matter?
Squiggles:
The captain hated my birthday act.
Dr. Ellie:
Oh, I’m sorry!
Squiggles:
Me too! I mean, look at me! I never even finished college, and I always thought-
Dr. Ellie:
What?
Squiggles:
No, it sounds stupid.
Dr. Ellie:
Aww, come on!
Squiggles:
When I was little I thought I would be…
Dr. Ellie:
What?
Squiggles:
A famous actor
On the big screen TV.
But now I’m twenty-seven
And as you can see,
I’m not.
Dr. Ellie:
Nope!
Squiggles:
Oh well,
It sucks to be me.
Dr. Ellie:
Nooo.
Squiggles:
It sucks to be me.
Dr. Ellie:
No!
Squiggles:
It sucks to be broke
And in debt
And nearing my thirties.
It sucks to be me.
Dr. Ellie:
You think your life sucks?
Squiggles:
I think so.
Dr. Ellie:
Your problems aren’t so bad!
I’m kinda pretty
And pretty damn smart.
Squiggles:
You are.
Dr. Ellie:
Thanks!
I like romantic things
Like music and art.
And as you know
I have a gigantic heart [literally pulls a heart out of a patient]
So why don’t I have
A boyfriend?
Fuck!
It sucks to be me!
Squiggles:
Me too!
Dr. Ellie:
It sucks to be me.
Squiggles:
It sucks to be me.
It sucks to be Suiggles…
Dr. Ellie:
And Ellie.
Squiggles:
To not have comfort!
Dr. Ellie:
To not have a date!
Both:
It sucks to be me!
[Rick and Zeke fighting]
[Zeke]You’re not my mom ya know!
Squiggles:
Hey, Mr. Positive, can you settle something for us?
Do you have a second?
Rick:
Ah, certainly.
Dr. Ellie:
Whose life sucks more?
Squiggles or mine?
Zeke and Rick:
Ours!
Rick:
We live together.
Zeke:
We’re as close
As people can get.
Rick:
We’ve been the best
Of buddies…
Zeke:
Ever since the
Day we met.
Rick:
So he knows lots
Of ways to make me
Really upset.
Oh, every day is
An aggravation.
Zeke:
Come on, that’s
An exaggeration!
Rick:
You leave your
Clothes out.
You put your feet
On my chair.
Zeke:
Oh yeah?
You do such anal
Things like ironing
Your underwear.
Rick:
You make that very
Small living quarters
We share a hell.
Zeke:
So do you,
That’s why I’m in hell
Too!
Rick:
It sucks to be me!
Zeke:
No, it sucks to be me!
Dr. Ellie:
It sucks to be me!
Squiggles:
It sucks to be me!
All:
Is there anybody here
It doesn’t suck to be?
It sucks to be me!
[killing and gore and stuff montage]
OPHELIA:
Why you all so happy?
Zeke:
Because our lives suck!
OPHELIA:
Your lives suck?
I hearing you correctly? Ha!
I come to this station
For opportunities.
Tried to work in Korean deli.
But I was made by Japanese.
But with hard work
I earn two Master’s Degrees
In social work!
And now I a therapist!
But I have no clients
And I have an
Unemployed fiancé!
And we have lots
Of bills to pay!
It suck to be me!
It suck to be me!
I say it
Sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-
Sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-
Sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-
Suck!
It suck to be me!
Assistant:
Excuse me?
Squiggles:
Hey there.
Assistant:
Sorry to bug you, but I’m looking for a job.
OPHELIA:
Why you looking all
The way out here?
Assistant:
Well, I started out at SS1,
But so far everything is out
Of my price range. But this
Space station looks like it pays a lot more!
Oh, and look – a ‘Now Hiring’ sign!
Squiggles:
You need to talk to
The caption.
Let me get him.
Assistant:
Great, thanks!
Squiggles:
Yo, Jack!
Captain Stone:
I’m comin’! I’m comin’!
Assistant:
Oh my God!
It’s Captain Jack Stone!
Captain Stone:
Yes I am!
I’m Captain Jack Stone
Of the SS13
I made a lotta money
That got stolen
By my folks!
Now I’m broke and
I’m the butt
Of everyone’s jokes,
But I’m here-
The almighty captain!
On the SS13-
All:
It sucks to be you.
Dr. Ellie:
You win!
All:
It sucks to be you.
Squiggles:
I feel better now!
Captain Stone:
Try having people
Stopping you to ask you
“what you talkin’ ‘bout,
Willis?”
It gets old.
All:
It sucks to be you
On SS13
On SS13
On SS13
But not when
We’re together.
We’re together
Here on SS13!
We work on SS13!
Our friends do too!
‘Til our dreams come true,
We work on SS13!
Assistant:
This is real life!
All:
We work on SS13!
Zeke:
You’re gonna love it.
All:
We work on SS13!
Captain Stone:
All:
Welcome to SS13!
......Remind Jack not to piss you off, too much anyway.
.