Choppers, Crayolas, Meat & Superpowers

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Postby Alex » Thu Feb 12, 2009 9:47 pm

"If you are made of glass, I will most likely DESTROY you, peasant."
- Me, conversing with anyone made of glass, over this past weekend.

So, I have returned to the land of home for a couple of days after a long week of traveling which included seeing Craola's new show, reconnecting with old friends, making new "rebellious" ones, and discovering my never-known mutant ability.
And instead of bore you with words, like a teacher, I will bore you with an overabundance of photos from the journey.....
Wait, i forgot to bring my camera. Damnit. OK, well, here are a few photos that I managed to steal from other peoples' cameras and blogs:

Photo first, caption second. That's how this game works.




First stop, Greg "Craola" Simkins' solo show at 5024SF in San Francisco. Greg (middle) has been a good friend and huge influence on me (and a ton of other young artists) for years and it was amazing to see his new work in person. And that's another amazing artist, Robert Bowen, silently growling next to us.





Since it was my birthday, we then went out to eat at The House Of Prime Rib in SF, which, to my dismay, was not a castle made of meat. But nonetheless, it was delicious. And they let you steal their nice steak knives as long as they arent looking. They let us keep 4 of them when they looked away!




Savage Paul's prime rib was twice the size of ours. And he cleaned his plate like a good cannibal.




Captain Pierce ate his salad so hard he shit while doing so.




And i guess, after all, you are what you eat, as I ordered the French Asshole Steak. Happy Birthday to me.




Next I went down to Santa Monica for the opening to "The Art of Rebellion", a group show that I did for Harley Davidson where me and a handful of dope artists painted on Harley gas tanks for charity. you can read more about my involvement HERE in my previous post. A bajillion people came out to see it (most likely because the lineup of artists was pretty insane) and this is what it looked like outside most of the night.




The entrance to the show.




This is what it looked like most of the night on the inside. I think i'm in this picture somewhere, but maybe not.




One of my favorite painters, Shawn Barber's tank.




My tank.




My new friend, Bob Dob's tank. He has a show this weekend at Billy Shire Gallery in LA. Go there.




My other new friend, Tara McPherson's tank, which is beautiful. I've been a fan of Tara's poster art and paintings for a while so it was refreshing getting to hang with her too.




Mark Dean Veca's tank. I didn't get to meet him, but I would have liked to. His installations are insane.
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Oh yah, it was a Harley show. There were motorcycles there, too.



From West Coast to East Coast, Tara McPherson, Me, Artist Steven Daily, and Bob Dob.




2 of my producers (Shanna and Marti) from the CHADAM project that i am working on with Warner Bros came to show their support. Marti's eyes arent usually sleepy like that, but it was the only photo I had as evidence.




VIMBY.com came by and we talked about things while I held some kind of device.




Mr. & Mrs. Stab-You-In-The-Face hanging out in front of my painting.




Jeph Howard of THE USED came to hug me.....




As did CW Bergermill and his trillion dollar grin.




Southpaw to the opposite of wrong: Oliver Vernon, Evan C (the curator), David Trulli, Shawn Barber, Tara McPherson, and me.




Then once again, it was dinner time....PS, one of the guys in this photo ate Chicken Hearts with his hands at this dinner....


Now, as the weekend came to a close, I needed to reflect on a couple of potentially life-changing instances that occurred throughout the week. I loved the first season of HEROES. it was what i needed after being pissed off at LOST for 2 seasons in a row. However, after trying to watch the second season of Heroes, i stopped completely and hated it. Maybe i didnt give it a chance, and I have no idea if it has gotten any better. But who cares, that second season blew dicks. I am starting to realize, however, that perhaps one of the reasons why i didnt enjoy it was because I MYSELF HAVE A MISUNDERSTOOD SUPERPOWER and this show just hit a little too close to home and made me feel subconsciously crappy. What is this superpower, you ask? Well, i wish it was the ability to punch Chris Brown from 400 miles away, or perhaps the ability to fart the legend of zelda theme, but instead, I just discovered that I have an amazing and explosive ability to shatter the glass of anything that I am close to just by staring at something else and not paying attention. Allow me to explain my discovery.
A week ago, a subtle but annoying crack in the windshield of my car appeared while i was looking down at my ipod. No big deal, right?
Sure, OK.
2 days later, at Craola's art show, the second incident occurs. I've seen tractors run over my friends' iphones and they are fine. I've seen dogs swallow them, shit them out, try to eat them and they are fine. A friend of mine dropped his phone off of a 2 story parking garage and it didnt even have a scratch on anything except the plastic cover. However, I simply took my phone out of my pocket, loosened my grip accidentally, and it happened to fall 2 feet to the ground, face down. No worries, I thought. I bent down to pick it up, turned it over and NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. This is what it looked like:




I know what you're thinking. Dude, you fucking dropped it. Stop crying and move on. Well, thats what i thought too. But in comparison to the windshield crack, the instances are getting stronger, more destructive! And then....the third incident.




While staying at the beautiful HUNTLEY HOTEL in Santa Monica (pictured above), my fate was sealed and my powers unleashed. Merisa stepped into the shower, got out, dried off, and went to bed. I then stepped into the shower, got out, dried off, and 20 seconds after exiting the shower, i heard and felt an invisible shotgun blast in my chest and the entire SHOWER DOOR EXPLODED OUTWARD! And all I did was stare at it. Im not joking. There was no weird shit going on, the door wasnt sealed or too hot or whatever Mr. Wizard might say. It simply exploded because I wasnt paying attention to it!!!!
This is what it looked like:




The picture doesnt do justice to the simple fact that had I exploded the door with my mind 20 seconds prior, i would have been naked and pummelled with glass! So in a way, i saved my own life by delaying my accidental mind power. Good job me!





And thats how my trip was. I have since removed everything glass from my life, and i drink by pouring liquid into my hand like a caveman. I need to learn to control my powers.....

Until next time....
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Re: Choppers, Crayolas, Meat & Superpowers

Postby Clievile » Fri Feb 13, 2009 12:17 am

I only like the steve urkel thing and the Naked woman
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Re: Choppers, Crayolas, Meat & Superpowers

Postby Ooky2099 » Fri Feb 13, 2009 3:09 am

That reminds me when I grabbed glasses for my cousin and I. And I spun them around right side up since they have been turned over, and they touched ever so slightly. Right when they did, they shattered right in my hands. Scared the crap out of me as I was covered in glass pieces.
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Re: Choppers, Crayolas, Meat & Superpowers

Postby Poizenkorp » Sat Feb 14, 2009 6:59 am

Dude...sure its not some sort of ghost or paranormal.

If you believe in that stuff.

Personally when glass smashes randomly, I just get chills.

Spooky
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Re: Choppers, Crayolas, Meat & Superpowers

Postby Captain1nsaneo » Sat Feb 14, 2009 7:41 am

Looks like someone screwed into the safty glass rather than using clamps to secure the handles. Causes cracks over time. Same thing happend at my house, not unheard of.
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