I will just use this thread to shove all my embarrassing stories into. And I'll even space them out so it'll be like quick episodes of sheer stupid!
I pissed off a beehive as a child and got stung multiple times on the lips, on the cheek, one on my nipple, and a million more on my arms and stomach. Swelled up like a balloon. Had one tit for about three days. Confined to house. Would have been walloped on the ass for being stupid, but bees already took care of that.