Snafu Therapy Thread. This topic is under Mod protection

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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Tuor » Fri Jul 25, 2014 2:38 pm

Mmm, slightly simplistic, I mean, you *can* be empathetic without having been in the situation, but ya.

Empathy: Understanding what others are feeling because you have experienced it yourself or can put yourself in their shoes.
Sympathy: Acknowledging another person's emotional hardships and providing comfort and assurance.
"Suddenly Frodo noticed that a strange-looking weather-beaten man, sitting in the shadows near the wall, was also listening intently to the hobbit-talk. He had a tall tankard in front of him, and was smoking a long-stemmed pipe curiously carved. His legs were stretched out before him, showing high boots of supple leather that fitted him well, but had seen much wear and were now caked with mud. A travel-stained cloak of heavy dark-green cloth was drawn close about him, and in spite of the heat of the room he wore a hood that overshadowed his face; but the gleam of his eyes could be seen as he watched the hobbits."
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby EagleMan » Mon Jul 28, 2014 2:57 am

ari-6 wrote:My mother had a terrible day at work, getting screwed over by bosses and employees alike. Does anyone know what to say to cheer someone up in this situation because I have no idea.

Also, how does someone tell whether or not they have empathy?

Would you say you're good at taking on other people's point of views?

On the concept of empathy though, it's usually easier to be empathetic if you've been through the situation or something close. At some point the difference in life experiences is too much for the average person to cross.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Sly » Sat Aug 02, 2014 12:59 am

The only pain in my heart now that my sister is sworn out of my life is the fear of having dreams that might be too big for me.

There's this voice so passionately spurned onward in fear generated so by its own ambition. You have this one life, it says, and you know if you die tomorrow you will fall in eternal sorrow of a life unspent. You only have this time here on earth, so much to do. You're scared of that time limit, aren't you? Is one life time enough time to do it all? Can you learn all the things you want to learn? Can you see and do all those things you want so? You really do want all those experiences for yourself, surely?

It challenges my every day spent, and every shift clock in; that moment when I know the next few hours of my time here is spent doing something else. I have to remind myself too often, "You're only 22. Don't look at the future. It ain't going no where, not today. And that's not bad."

At the end of the day, I have all these hobbies and ambitions. But what has always been there and never faded away is my writing. I've been writing since I was a child and it was the base of my pursuit of Journalism. (I didn't feel a desire to go for creative writing. I wanted something that would criticism me more than that.) It is my sanity's backbone. I can want so many things for myself, but at the end of every day, I am a writer. I tell myself, Girl, please listen to your heart and remember that you live every day you're here, because you always find time to write no matter how many jobs you're working.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby ari-6 » Mon Aug 04, 2014 8:21 pm

I can relate to the fear of the future. I worry about it all the time. Sometimes I think "If you want a big future than the sooner you start making plans, the better". But then when someone tells me I need to start right this second, I only feel like crawling back in my hole. I think the idea "The future isn't going anywhere and it will still be there tomorrow is a good way to calm down and think. But if you keep thinking that then before too long your future will start getting narrower and narrower as opportunities are missed. See what I mean? Scary.

I also find that when you have one thing that you pride yourself on above all else, and you start putting allot of pressure on yourself in that one area, then it will soon become a source of stress and you will forget what you liked about it in the first place.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Sly » Tue Aug 05, 2014 2:25 pm

"The future isn't going anywhere and it will still be there tomorrow" is a good way to calm down and think. But if you keep thinking that then before too long your future will start getting narrower and narrower as opportunities are missed. See what I mean? Scary.


It's okay to be scared of that. The backbone of the attitude of allowing myself to tell myself that the future will be there tomorrow is that I trust myself not to let the future narrow. I have to trust in my own self to know that I have more time than I think I have. I tell myself the future will be there tomorrow because I need to get through today in order for tomorrow to even exist. At the same time, I trust myself to make things happen later on. I know I can work hard, and I know that I've never had a problem getting a job. I also know that I spend too much time being scared of the future, so much that I'm already missing out a lot on the life that I'm living right now. And in a way, I'm more scared of letting my life pass me by while I'm still living it. Today is already here, so why am I scared of not living in the future when I'm living already right now?

The future will be there tomorrow. It's far more important not to forget about today because when you stop looking at each day you live today, that's actually how your life ends up passing you by. The collective of the days you lost being scared of the future ends up comprising all the days you regret not living later on.

In other words, have some sort of outline for the future that you will get to in the future. Other than that, there's a part that really has to let go of those dreams and aspirations and desires, and learn to be happy in the now. If you can't be happy now, how can you believe you will be happy later?

If I can't enjoy the boy toy I have while I have him now, then I can't expect to enjoy him some other time later. If I can't enjoy the process of working towards being a broadcast engineer, I highly risk not enjoying being a broadcast engineer at all. The process is where I learn the things I should end up loving to do as a career. Thus, if I find I'm not enjoying the process then I can change it while it is still now.

The future will be there tomorrow, and (as Dovahkin would say in ES:Skyrim) the future will have to worry about itself. Your future self will have to worry about itself. It's okay to be scared sometimes. But it's not okay to stand still. The now is happening right now, and if you're really scared of not enjoying life, then there's really no better time to get to it then right now.

The real problem is that few people know what they actually enjoy doing. so I guess we all have a lot of work to do on getting to know ourselves and what makes us happy.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Yog » Mon Aug 11, 2014 8:17 pm

I'm still in mourning and I don't even know it.

My mom dying really fucked me up, bad.

The closer to it, the more it takes hold.

I'm afraid. I'm afraid of going near the subject, because I know that once I make contact, serious emotional contact, everything will come tumbling down.

I doubt myself everyday. Everyday, I keep questioning my sense of happiness, and reality itself.

I'm losing grip on everything, and one of the biggest things that terrifies me is losing the girl I love right now.

The call to withdraw and indulge is so strong now that I have to fight to get up, every morning.

My relationship with my therapist is tenuous at best, because he has no idea how to reach me. I can tell.

And the old me questions whether I made the right choice to re enter society.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby EagleMan » Tue Aug 12, 2014 11:01 pm

If you don't feel like it's working out with your therapist, there's no problem in going for a new one. The relationship you have with your therapist is very important. You can bring it up with them and ask if they have any idea if they know someone who may be a good fit for you.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Mathias » Sat Aug 16, 2014 9:14 pm

So I'm pretty positive that I have Asperger's or some form of autism and I am reclusive. Nobody likes my personality or my frankness and I have difficulty with making friends who want to spend any time with me. This also spills over to dating (which I have never done), where I have messaged ladies on dating sites and have received no replies. I've been staying with my cousin and she's been trying to make plans to get me out with people and doing things, but they seem to fall through. Depression makes me unmotivated and it partially stems from a thyroid imbalance which hasn't been medicated since December for a number of reasons. My mother raised me to depend upon her and now I am having difficulty with being independent. I've never once lived alone. I've lived with family or with college roommates.

Would prefer to hear something besides "just get out and do things" because it isn't that simple. I haven't even written prose in months and it was something that I wanted to do for a living. I'm addicted to the Internet and the comfort of my bedroom.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Yog » Sat Aug 16, 2014 10:27 pm

Actually, just take baby steps.

Your cousin is a pretty cool person for trying to help you, and if you can without coming off imposing, ask them to hold off on the outside stuff until you've acclimated to the social atmospheres within your town.

Stop caring about this dating thing right now.

You need to focus on getting out the door first.

If I were you, I'd start with going to the park, and work from there, on escalating amounts of people.

That way, you'd get to learn at a nice place.

Message me about anything else, man, I'd be glad to help.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Millo » Sat Aug 16, 2014 10:34 pm

I would say you should schedule for a psyche eval so that you can get some real answers and possibly steps to improve your situation by a professional.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Mathias » Sat Aug 16, 2014 11:06 pm

Go to a park and do what? Part of the reason I don't go out is because I don't know what to do with myself.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Yog » Sat Aug 16, 2014 11:13 pm

Just walk.

I pace a lot.

Pacing and thinking.

And if you can, make small talk with anyone that you think would be open to communication.

Sounds weird, but it's what I did.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Princess » Sat Aug 16, 2014 11:47 pm

Debating leaving here, because it's nothing but negativity and always ruins my mood. Sure, there are some good things, but most the people I'd miss talking to...I have on Skype.

But, for real, I shouldn't be feeling like this over a fucking internet forum. But, I care too much. *shrug*
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Mathias » Sun Aug 17, 2014 12:01 am

Granted, I pop in for a second now and then, but it seems like there hasn't been a new thread in Spam for some time. I never thought I would leave, but I did because there was nothing holding my interest here. Even the Role Playing forum seems to be slow. I'm not trying to convince you to leave, but (apart from the negativity bit, which I have not been exposed to) I can relate.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby EagleMan » Mon Aug 18, 2014 12:05 am

I've been pretty much gone as well. It looks like the most recent thread was 8 days ago for Grey's birthday.

Mathias in what ways do those plans seem to fall through?

And do you exercise at all?
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Mathias » Mon Aug 18, 2014 10:40 am

They just never come to fruition. I was supposed to go out with a cousin the other night, but she never called back to say what she was doing. No, I don't exercise.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Morpheus » Mon Aug 18, 2014 11:17 am

Follow up dude. If you really want a plan to happen make it happen and be passionate about it. People have busy lives and if you don't follow up you'll get left behind or forgotten. And don't assume that if someone forgets you it means they don't like you or something. There just busy. Also, joy is something important to keep. We all feed off each others joy and energy abit. Not that you have to be "fake" but smile and try to be positive about a situation. Even when it goes south.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Millo » Tue Aug 19, 2014 9:41 pm

I'm sitting here drunk as fuck but I don't feel better. What am I doing
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Yog » Tue Aug 19, 2014 9:47 pm

Sitting there drunk as fuck. Don't look into it, Millo.

If you do it'll just make you sad.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Millo » Tue Aug 19, 2014 9:52 pm

It's upsetting that I can't even feel better under the influence of alcohol. I feel pathetic
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Yog » Tue Aug 19, 2014 10:00 pm

Alcohol doesn't necessarily make you feel better.

You shouldn't be looking towards those things.

What exactly is making you think this way, man?
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Millo » Tue Aug 19, 2014 10:10 pm

I just feel so much more alone than before. I didn't know it was possible to have someone that understood me but once they left my life I feel truly alone
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Yog » Tue Aug 19, 2014 10:31 pm

Well.

Find another person who fits the bill.

And don't tell me that's impossible, because it isn't.

We talked about that girl, Millo.

You know I'm right about the things I said in the PMs.

I know that loneliness you're going through. But it'll get better with time. And then, it'll vanish, because you WILL find someone.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Lady Haru » Tue Aug 19, 2014 11:06 pm

Artan wrote:It's upsetting that I can't even feel better under the influence of alcohol. I feel pathetic

alcohol just emphasizes however you are feeling, man

and you and i have talked about this girl a lot over skype, millo
we talked about the last girl too
but what happened? you moved on
you moved on then and you'll be able to move on again
there is someone else out there waiting for you but you have to stay strong until then
yea i know saying "stay strong" seems like lousy advice
but you can't expect a magical answer from someone that will heal all your pain
you are the only one who will be able to do that and it will take time
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby EagleMan » Fri Aug 22, 2014 2:54 am

Mathias wrote:They just never come to fruition. I was supposed to go out with a cousin the other night, but she never called back to say what she was doing. No, I don't exercise.

As said you have to follow up. Anyways the exercise advice is the lame obvious advice but if you're not doing it you should. Getting the motivation to do it sucks, and it might even feel terrible in the process of doing it, or being at the gym or outside, but afterwards you will always feel good for having done it. It has proven biological effects that make a person feel better. And the better a body you have, the more reason you have to feel confident and good about yourself.
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