Snafu Therapy Thread. *TRIGGER WARNINGS* This topic is under Mod protection

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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Harumii » Wed Jun 25, 2014 1:00 pm

so everyone. i am taking a hiatus from snafu.
i need time to recover from the mental traumas that have been plaguing me.
certain people on this site have induced great stress and fear in me that i have only been making worse.
i have been feeling very unsafe and distressed by people and events on snafu.
i don't handle situations well due to being emotionally unstable and my communication skills are poor.
the drama that was started that i should have ignored got to me and made me defensive.
i let others' poison effect my behaviour and get to me
i got over emotional and let people provoking get the best of me. i apologize.
i admit that my problems cause me to not always act the best
and i only feel bad about that because i have always, always only wanted peace and love.
heavy misunderstandings and hurt feelings were created on all sides
i never wanted to hurt anyone and i know no one meant to hurt me.
no one wants to hurt others. everyone wants peace, i'm sure.
i am leaving to take care of my own mental health that has greatly deteriorated both from RL and here.
i will be back after i get better. i have many great friends on here who will be helping me.
i am grateful that so many people on here want me to get better. i feel really cared about and loved.
i will continue to talk with all those people on skype and other places.

and no i do not need a tempaban. that would give me more stress and would cause a panic attack, honestly.
i just wanted to tell everyone i'd be gone for awhile. and to keep me in your good thoughts as i recover.
snafu is my home and i care about all of you so much. i am just unwell right now.
i will be back happier and healthier, i'm sure.

oh and i want to know that people won't try and reopen the drama when i return
if you try to start drama, i will not respond because that's what started everything
i don't want some sort of relapse and i just want peace of mind that it won't be allowed.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Yog » Wed Jun 25, 2014 1:26 pm

I'm happy for you Haru.

Take care of yourself, ok? Come back feeling better.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Sigment » Wed Jun 25, 2014 5:16 pm

Take all the time you need, Haru. There's no need to rush things, so you don't have to come back until you feel that you're ready to do so.

Hope you feel better.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Wulfespinndel » Wed Jun 25, 2014 6:22 pm

Don't bother coming back; the last thing you want is to be involved in more drama. Just focus on getting well.

You won't need us this time around. Go, and be free. Talk if you have to, but...don't come back for a long time.

I want to see you in better shape.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Senel » Wed Jun 25, 2014 6:43 pm

Kinda sound like a dick there Wulf.

She'd be fine though if we didn't have mods that ignore what they're supposed to uphold.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby BeeAre » Wed Jun 25, 2014 6:48 pm

Senel wrote:Kinda sound like a dick there Wulf.

She'd be fine though if we didn't have mods that ignore what they're supposed to uphold.


Elaborate right now. You have the floor.

Explain it in detail.

Edit: I see you saw my post and then left without replying, so I'll make this for when you return: If you feel uncomfortable pursuing it in public, I'd be glad to hear out your concerns in a PM.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Senel » Wed Jun 25, 2014 6:57 pm

Warbear specifically, without personally attacking him has held other members accountable for things said on Skype. Myself included. For a varying degree of things. Haru sent me what he had said to her completely unprovoked over Skype this morning at about 8 am. In the message he totally played his bias and hate for her for no reason, calling her poison and a number of other things. She has told me previously that she had apparently received multiple warnings for things she had said in the 'Rapscalions' Skype chat, though it was apparently after I was removed so I'm not familiar with what had happened there exactly. Basically I feel that by displaying such an extreme bias that some of the warnings she had received from that should be removed, or Warbear's over emotional habits should be examined by the mods to determine if he's still fit.

At the very least he deserves a slap on the hand if he's going to ignore his whole "Skype counts as the forum" bit when it's him tossing the venom.

EDIT: Didn't leave after seeing. Just takes me a bit to type when my arthritis flares.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby BeeAre » Wed Jun 25, 2014 7:09 pm

Senel wrote:Warbear specifically, without personally attacking him has held other members accountable for things said on Skype. Myself included. For a varying degree of things.


Held you accountable how?

I have gone over every action Warbear has made, policy-wise, on the forum, by implementation of punishment.

I have had to approve every decision he has made, as has the group of moderators. While we have agreed he has gotten upset at people, none of his decisions have impacted the functionality of the forum's proceedings, because all of his decisions had oversight.

Haru sent me what he had said to her completely unprovoked over Skype this morning at about 8 am. In the message he totally played his bias and hate for her for no reason, calling her poison and a number of other things.


Yes, I have seen it. He was angry at her, and none of that information pertains to the forums.

She has told me previously that she had apparently received multiple warnings for things she had said in the 'Rapscalions' Skype chat,


As her behavior on the forums was concerned.

though it was apparently after I was removed so I'm not familiar with what had happened there exactly.


Clearly.

Basically I feel that by displaying such an extreme bias that some of the warnings she had received from that should be removed, or Warbear's over emotional habits should be examined by the mods to determine if he's still fit.


You are woefully uninformed as to the circumstances of this case, and if you only heard it from Haru about Warbear, and those facts were accurate, I would agree with you.

Haru's behavior in multiple threads is what got her a number of warnings issued to her, and because of the lack of clarity on those warnings' delivery, the severity of those warnings was cut multiple times to demonstrate our understanding that the lack of clarity would be damaging to Haru unfairly.

At the very least he deserves a slap on the hand if he's going to ignore his whole "Skype counts as the forum" bit when it's him tossing the venom.


I have discussed things with Warbear. He understands that he should not have gotten upset.

EDIT: Didn't leave after seeing. Just takes me a bit to type when my arthritis flares.


I am sorry about your arthritis.

Are all of your concerns sufficiently addressed?
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Senel » Wed Jun 25, 2014 7:15 pm

I was held accountable when I made the comment "Well chat's being brutally raped"when some people were spamming the song that never ends, though I've since come to understand why that might upset some people so I don't have an issue with that.

But yeah. You addressed my concerns fairly enough. Thank you.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby BeeAre » Wed Jun 25, 2014 7:17 pm

I am glad to have help clarified things.

Let us return this thread to its normal business. :0)
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Yog » Wed Jun 25, 2014 7:20 pm

So I never thought that living with someone would be enjoyable as it is, but here I am, a month later, still happy.

Man it's weird.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Tuor » Wed Jun 25, 2014 7:23 pm

Happy for you, yog c:
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Grey » Wed Jun 25, 2014 7:29 pm

people aren't all that bad once you get to know em

unless they are
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Yog » Wed Jun 25, 2014 7:31 pm

I still question it, you know.

I wonder if I deserve this.

But everyone does. That's what I think.

I always say, everyone deserves to be happy, but I've never included myself in everyone.

Maybe I should.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Tuor » Wed Jun 25, 2014 7:39 pm

I think you probably should ;)
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Yog » Mon Jul 07, 2014 10:29 pm

Hey.

I need some advice from anyone with experience when it comes to anger.

This whole boxing thing has been some of the most cathartic thing I've done. I used to have some issues with anger when I was younger, but that's cleared up for the most part.

These fights though, I feel them bringing out something bad. It's like.

I'm angry at the world.

Just pissed off at everything, like when I was a stupid kid.

I keep that suppressed, a bit, but I don't know where it's coming from.

I've mulled it over, and the only theory that I have is a subconscious bitterness from all the shit that's happened to me these past years.

This is messing me up badly if that's true. I mean. I've had my more than my fair share of grief, but what with the gifts I've found, and new relationships and friendships that I've made, I should be happy, right?

I don't know what to do. I really don't.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Tuor » Mon Jul 07, 2014 10:51 pm

To me, this honestly seems like something to seek some kind of professional help for
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Yog » Mon Jul 07, 2014 10:54 pm

That's what I was thinking too.

Mind you, it's not violent tendencies toward people.

When I say I'm angry at the world, it'd be more fitting to say... I dunno.

I have nothing against anyone, haha.

I guess you could go say I'm cursing the very fabric of the universe if that makes any sense.

It's something that will regrettably get turned inward if I don't figure out how to deal with it. And I don't think I can break my hands anymore, hehe.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby top gear tony » Mon Jul 07, 2014 10:58 pm

I was going to suggest punching a punching bag till it's vented all out since you box. Just tire yourself out.

I used to have serious anger problems a few years back, it just cleared up on it's own.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Yog » Mon Jul 07, 2014 11:02 pm

I plan on doing both.

Like I said, boxing is super cathartic. It's perfect to let out some of these bad emotions.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Tuor » Mon Jul 07, 2014 11:08 pm

That being said I don't think it's that uncommon to be a bit mad at how the world is
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Yog » Mon Jul 07, 2014 11:13 pm

True. But my anger is worse than that.

It stems from an actual cause, not the world itself. I'm just projecting.

Hrm.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Tuor » Mon Jul 07, 2014 11:15 pm

Ah, well then I stand by my original suggestion then haha
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Sly » Tue Jul 08, 2014 12:51 am

@Yog

I share your concern. All I can say is check yourself regularly, in other words, don't let that concern fade away too far into the background. Keep the concern alive as though it were a curse upon your actions, something to resent, but also something you will bear as though it were the double edge on the only sword you have and are going to get.

I attended a Krav Maga gym for several months, and while it was the most relieving thing I ever did for myself, a year later I nearly struck my sister after she chased me around the house screaming at me over bullshit. Because I had practiced so much, I was too ready to throw a well formed elbow into her diaphragm and believe me when I said she left herself wide open. I barely caught myself, it was too easy to visualize the strike because it came with the smoothness of something well practiced. It terrified her, and was largely part of her throwing me out of her house and why I'm struggling to get by.

Now, she had fully picked that fight and chased me into a corner, but I would have ended it, and I'm bearing the responsibility of a punch I didn't throw anyway. I was going to hit her, I wanted to hit her, I wanted her to feel the burning pain that I was feeling and listen to her scream under it's weight for all the times she's abused me when I was little. I wanted her to do the screaming for once. And as I look upon it now, I might as well have hurt her for all the good not hurting her has done me. I still feel like my actions weren't unacceptable, but it holds that I should not have reached for violence no matter what was screamed at me.

But for the time I practiced in the gym and trained on my own on my punching bag, I was sleeping better and getting along with some people at my work better, and also venting a lot of pent up hatred. It was relieving in a way people with something out there that has hurt them deeply feel. I tired myself as much as I could and it got me through the day, though it never quite solved my problems. Maybe that's a bit different than anger, but also, maybe not.

All I can say is, the anger you fear probably won't turn inward. Fighting spirit doesn't exist without something to fight, and fighting spirit doesn't grow if it is so busy caught up fighting itself.

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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Millo » Tue Jul 08, 2014 12:53 am

I thought the boxing would be a great outlet for all this pent up anger. I know you probably feel a sense of guilt for being angry even though things have been going your way recently but it's the same as other depressed people who finally have their life on track yet still can't escape their feeling of emptiness and sadness. Like Tuor I think it'd be a good idea to speak to a therapist or a psychologist about it.
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