Snafu Therapy Thread.

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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby EagleMan » Wed Jan 22, 2014 1:03 am

The Mad Doctor wrote:There are some that permit ages 14-25. I get it, I got plenty of time. Maybe when I go to college is when I get a girlfriend. I just was annoyed about how it seems like a lot of people in both school and Snafu has that the subject to talk about and I don't. Maybe it's because of late puberty and relationships still bug me. I think I well grow out of it and allow it to happen, when the time comes when it does happen.

You can only talk about it if you have something to talk about. Plenty of others are in a boat like yours, and older. Also you probably shouldn't just wait for it to happen. You're inevitably going to deal with awkward and cringey situations as you make your first romantic/sexual advances. High school is the safest place to do it. College, it's okay to start but it's kind of late to learn all of that, but still an open environment if you try. Once you get out then pickings become scarce instantaneously, you have to actually meet people rather than having them sit next to you in class with a good excuse to interact.

You might have a girl fall into your lap, but you are a guy, and since you seem to be worrying about the issue, you should try to put yourself out there. Definitely do not fall into the crush trap. What I mean by that is don't fixated on a particular girl, waiting months or even years before confessing your attraction. Fancy a girl? Start a conversation, be upfront, she says no you move on. You'll quickly find a nice girl through the numbers game alone, but rejection will suck, but it won't matter once you find someone. If you fixate on a girl, then the possibility of rejection will only grow worse and worse, so you may never even ask her out and then she gets a boyfriend while you spent time doing nothing.

Also @ what others are saying, based on what he's saying he definitely doesn't seem like the type who's going to throw away his future chasing girls. High school is a place to learn not only academically, but socially. There are very few other social learning grounds like it available. You can always learn from a book later, but right now's the best time he has to practice talking to girls. There are so many people who focus on their studies then are utterly clueless on how to interact with the opposite sex once school's all said and done with. It's actually a really big problem in places like Japan and South Korea. You guys know what high school is like. Most of it is busy work, not something that's actually challenging. He doesn't need to spend hours hitting the books. He has the time to talk to girls and get a girlfriend.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Tuor » Wed Jan 22, 2014 1:11 am

I just think people are trying to make sure he doesn't feel like girls and being in a relationship are the be all, end all at this point in his life. Of course there's nothing wrong with testing the waters, but it's probably not something he should fixate on. I agree about the crush part though.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Fan_the_Flames » Fri Jan 24, 2014 12:12 am

I agree with Tuor on that, relationships are not that huge of a deal, and not something you should actively pursue at this point in your life. If one happens to develop naturally, than it's a wonderful thing. I didn't even have my first "date" until I was 16, and even that was just going to homecoming. Of course, these feelings may come from the fact that my last 3 relationships have been with girls that ended up being nucking futs, but that's a different story.

Just enjoy high school...as a college student, I miss it already ;_; So much more stress now, since I absolutely have to get good grades in order to pursue my dream.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Yog » Fri Jan 24, 2014 7:59 am

My uncle got better.

They had to put him in a medicine induced coma, but after getting rid of the shit in his lungs, he's much better.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Blood Lord » Mon Jan 27, 2014 8:52 pm

That's good to hear.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Snow Diggity » Mon Jan 27, 2014 9:18 pm

So things have been fairly pleasant between me and my girlfriend, life is nice, she never seems to complain, everything is nice, and simple. Or at least that's what I thought.

So about a month ago my girlfriend dropped the knowledge on me that she has crippling anxiety disorder, which explains why , even tho she's a solid year and 3 months older than I am, I'm prety much her first /anything/ a solid 35% of things which I thought were normal things teens do through highschool she has never done, and until we worked together on it, she practically had a meltdown about it,. Again, all seems fine.

Then finally, I make a joke in passing about slavery, which, in order to spare you the deets, ended with her , completely serious, telling me she was willing to be my slave and do whatever I wanted so long as it didn't disappoint me.

Later on, I noticed that I got dissapointed because she had to do something, and when she came back she wanted to make it up tp me , i made a completely outrageous request, and she did it without a second thought, I'm beginning to rammble, but the point is, I'm scareed of myself, about what I'd do with the trust and authority she gave me over her that I honestly don't want.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Millo » Mon Jan 27, 2014 9:21 pm

You should be completely honest with her and tell her that this devotion of hers is very uncomfortable to you.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Tuor » Mon Jan 27, 2014 9:56 pm

You should also make it clear to her that she doesn't have to make it up to you when there are things she has to do, like, it's nice, but it's not like you're gonna be mad if she doesn't, assuming that's how you feel. That you're both adults and that you can deal with disappointment. It's good that you realize the request was outrageous, you still made it though, food for thought. Also, you should be aware of how strongly, and how, you convey your emotions, because now you know that whatever emotion you happen to exhibit is going to influence her immensely.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Princess » Mon Jan 27, 2014 11:24 pm

Also, she could just like being a sub. So make sure you're not making her feel bad for what she likes sexually.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Tuor » Thu Jan 30, 2014 1:35 am

Dude, I know how it feels to be the one that people never ask if they're ok. That is me in real life. Honestly, they're probably a bit thrown off, they're not sure what to do because they're not used to seeing you like that. Are you at college right now? You might want to seek some appointment with a councillor, I think it could help. If you just want to vent, talk about stuff, whatever, even though we're not super close, I'm pretty much always on Skype. What are your dreams? It seemed like you were well on your way to them! You got into a highly competitive program! That's awesome! You work hard at what you do.

No one is going to laugh at you or poke fun at you.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Sigment » Thu Jan 30, 2014 2:23 am

I've been trying to think of what to say here. I hate to see people in pain, but I struggle to think of what to say to make them feel better. I want to help, truly. In truth, I respect you. A lot. You work hard for everything you try to do, and I have always liked that about you. I owe you many things on this site, and you given me the confidence to socialize here, try to forge my own presence here. I feel as though I've failed to return that favor. I've considered you a friend for a long time, man. But if you truly feel this way, then I feel as though I only have myself to blame for not helping you when you needed it. In that case, all I can say is that I'm sorry. But just remember that if you want a shoulder to lean on, I'll always be willing to help however I can. I just hope that I can give you that much.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Exodis » Thu Jan 30, 2014 2:25 am

Blordy, you do have friends here man. Tuor's your friend. I'm your friend. Hell, you're one of my favorite people here. When I started becoming more active here I started to really like you and a lot of people here. You guys are like a small family, a family I can joke around, fuck around with, vent on my issues, ask for advice, and so on. Seeing you like this makes me upset, and that's why your friends are here: to help you with your problems.

And with you believing in something better for you? You got to be 1 in 10 people who got into the BYU-I Nursing program. You had the fucking strength and dedication, and fought your way to there. You may stress in it, but it will pay off in the end. God damn, I was thrilled to hear you got in. Follow your path as it will help you go far.

And to those who laugh and poke at you for expressing your thoughts and feelings? Fuck them. Fuck them to hell because it shows that you are human and noone can be perfect.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Gizmo » Thu Jan 30, 2014 5:09 pm

Sigment wrote:I've been trying to think of what to say here. I hate to see people in pain, but I struggle to think of what to say to make them feel better. I want to help, truly. In truth, I respect you. A lot. You work hard for everything you try to do, and I have always liked that about you. I owe you many things on this site, and you given me the confidence to socialize here, try to forge my own presence here. I feel as though I've failed to return that favor. I've considered you a friend for a long time, man. But if you truly feel this way, then I feel as though I only have myself to blame for not helping you when you needed it. In that case, all I can say is that I'm sorry. But just remember that if you want a shoulder to lean on, I'll always be willing to help however I can. I just hope that I can give you that much.

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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby karauma? » Thu Jan 30, 2014 8:28 pm

This is a marvelous thread, and all of you who give advice are doing a great service for this entire community.
It's great to see this in a place where emo hate was so rampant.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Whatis6times9 » Thu Jan 30, 2014 8:41 pm

karauma? wrote:This is a marvelous thread, and all of you who give advice are doing a great service for this entire community.
It's great to see this in a place where emo hate was so rampant.

Some of it is the community getting older and being willing to take advice. Part of the problem with the emo crowd was this idea that their problems were truly unique.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Millo » Sat Feb 01, 2014 11:33 pm

I kind of had a panic attack when I came home today, I don't really know what it was.

It kind of makes me feel like shit because I don't have any reason for feeling this way. I've been having a relatively good week. Gosh what is wrong with meeee
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Tenshi Nova » Sun Feb 02, 2014 12:32 am

That thought alone could make it worse. Just because you may not notice a mental reason immediately, is no reason to think that you're awful for 'overreacting'. It's self destructive. You're stressed somewhere. It's good too know that you've had a good week, but don't think too much about it. If you feel you have no real reason, it could just be a less notable trigger or a something physical.

Don't beat yourself up because you think you have no reason to, there always is.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Gizmo » Mon Feb 03, 2014 7:32 pm

:frown: okay I don't really understand what exactly "emo" is, so can someone explain that to me?
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Tuor » Mon Feb 03, 2014 7:39 pm

I'm guessing this is in reference to the first post of the thread?
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Gizmo » Mon Feb 03, 2014 7:42 pm

Just in general. I hear the word so many times in my school life and I never actually knew what it meant.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Tuor » Mon Feb 03, 2014 7:56 pm

People usually just use it slangly to refer to people who always seem to be mopey and sad, if it's being used as a describing word. There's also a sub culture that is called emo where most of the people act like that or are angsty and dress mostly in black clothing. Google it for pictures of what that looks like, I guess
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Gizmo » Mon Feb 03, 2014 8:05 pm

*looks up "emo" on Google*

Man, besides all the Grim Tales that popped up, I'd say emo looks pretty tough to deal with
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Princess » Mon Feb 03, 2014 9:54 pm

Cool. Now spill feels or get out.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Gizmo » Tue Feb 04, 2014 6:41 pm

... When your parent just straight up tell you that you were an "accident", how do you react to that?
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby EagleMan » Tue Feb 04, 2014 6:46 pm

What was the tone? Half of kids aren't planned.
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