Snafu Therapy Thread. This topic is under Mod protection

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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby EagleMan » Tue Jan 14, 2014 1:42 am

It's a combination of hope and investment. People invest so much in you. Your parents, friends, society in general, they've all invested a lot of time and resources in you as a person and with the relationships that they have with you. People like to protect their "investments", in a sense. Though they certainly don't think of it that way, but more like "I don't want to lose my son, or my best friend, I love these people and have spent years getting to know them and being with them, and I'd be lost without them". Technically in a sense it's all selfish, but it's not necessarily a horrible kind of selfishness.

The investment is why it's especially important in religion. Religion helps bind groups together, and suicide can unravel some of those binds. It's largely a leftover from ancient times, but if you had a village or a tribe, people would have a specialized role, like blacksmith or hunter. Losing a person to suicide would be devastating to the group and is in some sense "preventable", so it was very strongly discouraged. There's no longer a danger of a town or people being weakened by a loss of an individual, but we're still dependent on family units. If society didn't have family units, suicide might be more acceptable, because you're no longer endangering people dependent upon you. A father killing himself and leaving two children with their mother harms society because those kids (on average) are never going to be as successful/productive as they otherwise would've been had their father not died. So society doesn't want that to happen.

And hope is simple enough. Suicide is final. Most people haven't been suicidal so they can't understand how that person must feel. All they know about is that a lot of people who survive suicide express regret towards their attempt, and they know that they have a lifetime to possibly get better. They only think about how things can get better, not about how they can get worse.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Yog » Tue Jan 14, 2014 8:16 am

EagleMan wrote:
Yog wrote:My uncle is dying and I can't fucking feel.

Were you close to him? Or is he just "family"?

I am very close to him. My uncle was one of my closest family members. He was one of the few that loved me unconditionally even when my parents kicked me out of the family.

Right now he's comatose, though. He was admitted into the hospital from a heart attack and then they found some bad pneumonia in his lungs. The problem is that he's old. He's more like my grandfather's brother, than my uncle. He's probably going to die

I'm sorry for that, by the way. I was momentarily flooded with emotion and anger aimed at my inability to feel sad. I've shut a lot of that down, and I'm fine now. I just felt on the edge of despair. It's weird. First a cat, then a friend, then my mom, now my uncle.

I feel like a robot, right now. I imagine that it's the only practical way to function, but still. This state is so similar to how I was when I was a hermit that it confuses me.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby EagleMan » Sat Jan 18, 2014 3:46 am

Have you told him some of this stuff about how you feel?
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Mr. Sefrol » Sat Jan 18, 2014 5:15 am

I really know how you feel Yog. I lost a very close uncle the year before last to hepatitis c, causing his liver to fail. It wasn't much more helpful that he liked to drink.

He was homeless and a bit out of his mind, but after becoming a bit loopy in the head he became the most friendly and caring person anyone could ever ask for, and was the only person I would allow to call me Bill or Billy. And I've kept that adamant when someone calls me that. I tell them quickly and bluntly that it's what I reserve for my father. But he was different, and he'll be the only person I'll ever allow to have said it. Even with being homeless, but he'd give what he had anyways. Sort of reminded me of this old tale of a traveler who gave everything he had on his journey, his equipment, clothes, body, and finally his eyes before being left for dead in the woods by a troll/goblin who left him a piece of paper he couldn't read with the word "fool" on it. But I don't think little of him for it. He was just that giving and it really touched me. He would come in every so often while I was working and ask if I could help him get some soup or something he needed, and I was always willing to help. I'd heard stories of him from so many people, complete strangers ranging from the homeless to business owners who'd tell me the craziest things... Ended up being the only person who stayed the night at the hospital with him before he passed way the next day... Got to tell a few of the stories I had heard of him at his funeral.

I do hope though that you won't have to attend one for him because of this. But if it happens, know we'll be here if it's too much to handle.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Riz » Mon Jan 20, 2014 2:35 am

I'm gross and huge and disgusting and toxic and I don't deserve to live
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Mr. Sefrol » Mon Jan 20, 2014 2:54 am

Those are all personal opinions, but most likely 99% percent of people you know here and offline will say otherwise (like me). You don't need to pay attention to that 1%. They're not being helpful.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Exodis » Mon Jan 20, 2014 3:02 am

I don't think you are Riz.
Sef is right. A lot of people would think differently and would actually say the opposite. Don't take what others say personally as that'll only get you down and into the level they want you to be. Personally I like the way you look and others here would agree as well.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby MERASMUS! » Mon Jan 20, 2014 8:29 pm

I can't get by very long without being bothered by hearing about someone's latest intercourse. Even on Snafu. And it doesn't bother me because I don't get to have sex. It bothers me because I'm fucking single to begin with. My two upmost problems when finding a girl is 1: at home I either have nothing interesting to talk about because everyone only cares about duck dynasty and everyone's an scheming asshole and 2: 90% of people at dating websites are just looking for someone to have sex with. I don't care about that. That's blindly stupid and immoral. All I have is friends on the internet. And fellow geeks at the comic book store.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Blood Lord » Mon Jan 20, 2014 9:34 pm

The Mad Doctor wrote:t bothers me because I'm fucking single to begin with.

Bam. Problem detected, you are single and don't like it. Let's further examine~

The Mad Doctor wrote:1: at home I either have nothing interesting to talk about because everyone only cares about duck dynasty and everyone's an scheming asshole

Drastic comparison. Have you attempted trying new social activities and events? Perhaps tried to locate those that share common values with you?

I'm assuming you are talking about when you are at home, as in your home town and not your colleage town, but I could be mistaken.

The Mad Doctor wrote:2: 90% of people at dating websites are just looking for someone to have sex with. I don't care about that.

You want a more committed relationship than a single fling. Not a problem. I don't know the value of dating websites, never tried one. I have see it be successful with my aunt after her divorce and my uncle who experienced a similar thing.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Tuor » Mon Jan 20, 2014 9:35 pm

Ya, basically the only advice I can give is try to get out there more
"Suddenly Frodo noticed that a strange-looking weather-beaten man, sitting in the shadows near the wall, was also listening intently to the hobbit-talk. He had a tall tankard in front of him, and was smoking a long-stemmed pipe curiously carved. His legs were stretched out before him, showing high boots of supple leather that fitted him well, but had seen much wear and were now caked with mud. A travel-stained cloak of heavy dark-green cloth was drawn close about him, and in spite of the heat of the room he wore a hood that overshadowed his face; but the gleam of his eyes could be seen as he watched the hobbits."
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Tuor » Mon Jan 20, 2014 9:36 pm

Also, I'm not sure if your profile age is true. If it is then we have a whole new set of things to discuss
"Suddenly Frodo noticed that a strange-looking weather-beaten man, sitting in the shadows near the wall, was also listening intently to the hobbit-talk. He had a tall tankard in front of him, and was smoking a long-stemmed pipe curiously carved. His legs were stretched out before him, showing high boots of supple leather that fitted him well, but had seen much wear and were now caked with mud. A travel-stained cloak of heavy dark-green cloth was drawn close about him, and in spite of the heat of the room he wore a hood that overshadowed his face; but the gleam of his eyes could be seen as he watched the hobbits."
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Exodis » Mon Jan 20, 2014 9:39 pm

Yeah Mad Doc. If you truly are 15, then don't worry about being single because you'll have someone soon. And sex should thought of the same way because, well, you're young and you'll experience that as well when you're older. Don't rush.
As for your social status, get out there more. Try to find someone you can relate to. There's always someone that's similar to you by personality.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Blood Lord » Mon Jan 20, 2014 9:40 pm

Wait. He's 15?
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby MERASMUS! » Mon Jan 20, 2014 10:34 pm

"Holy crap he's really 15!" Yeah that's what I'm gonna end up hearing for a while now aren't I?
Last edited by MERASMUS! on Mon Jan 20, 2014 10:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Tuor » Mon Jan 20, 2014 10:37 pm

Not really.

It's just that at 15 it really shouldn't be that important, you have plenty of time to get a girlfriend and do stuff, you don't really need to worry about that stuff right now, just have fun.
"Suddenly Frodo noticed that a strange-looking weather-beaten man, sitting in the shadows near the wall, was also listening intently to the hobbit-talk. He had a tall tankard in front of him, and was smoking a long-stemmed pipe curiously carved. His legs were stretched out before him, showing high boots of supple leather that fitted him well, but had seen much wear and were now caked with mud. A travel-stained cloak of heavy dark-green cloth was drawn close about him, and in spite of the heat of the room he wore a hood that overshadowed his face; but the gleam of his eyes could be seen as he watched the hobbits."
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Exodis » Mon Jan 20, 2014 11:58 pm

Yeah, it's not really a big deal.

Hey Blordy, why did you edit your advice out after "Wait. He's 15?"
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Millo » Tue Jan 21, 2014 12:18 am

He didn't.


And Yeah I agree with everyone else MD, you have loads of time to find a girlfriend. There's no need to rush things, all your problems won't magically go away once you get into a relationship.
Have you tried turn it off and on again?
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Exodis » Tue Jan 21, 2014 12:32 am

Yeah, he did! I saw it the minute he posted.
Just wondering why he edited it out.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Blood Lord » Tue Jan 21, 2014 12:37 am

Ehh, didn't feel like I should be the one saying it.

But we're help MD out, not BL's nasty habits of editing posts. That can be later.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Tenshi Nova » Tue Jan 21, 2014 5:28 am

Him being 15 is kind of funny. Everyone that's been posting about relationships are around 20.

Also, my memory could be foggy, but don't most dating sites have an 18 year old age minimum?
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby MERASMUS! » Tue Jan 21, 2014 7:41 am

There are some that permit ages 14-25. I get it, I got plenty of time. Maybe when I go to college is when I get a girlfriend. I just was annoyed about how it seems like a lot of people in both school and Snafu has that the subject to talk about and I don't. Maybe it's because of late puberty and relationships still bug me. I think I well grow out of it and allow it to happen, when the time comes when it does happen.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Exodis » Tue Jan 21, 2014 1:08 pm

The Mad Doctor wrote:I just was annoyed about how it seems like a lot of people in both school and Snafu has that the subject to talk about and I don't.

Well almost everyone here is older than you so talking about sex is a given as they have had experience.
You're 15, that shit should be thought of and taken care of when you're older. Live with what you have now, the important stuff comes later.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Millo » Tue Jan 21, 2014 1:29 pm

Don't dwell on women and sex during highschool, that's what I did and my grade really suffered because of it. Focus on getting the grades you need to go to a great college and maybe get a scholarship.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Princess » Tue Jan 21, 2014 1:29 pm

The Mad Doctor wrote:There are some that permit ages 14-25. I get it, I got plenty of time. Maybe when I go to college is when I get a girlfriend. I just was annoyed about how it seems like a lot of people in both school and Snafu has that the subject to talk about and I don't. Maybe it's because of late puberty and relationships still bug me. I think I well grow out of it and allow it to happen, when the time comes when it does happen.

I was playing pokemon and wasn't kissed yet, at 15. (I'm still playing pokemon but still)
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Wulfespinndel » Wed Jan 22, 2014 12:32 am

Millo wrote:Don't dwell on women and sex during highschool, that's what I did and my grade really suffered because of it. Focus on getting the grades you need to go to a great college and maybe get a scholarship.

Same story here, I failed Algebra 3/4 at Junior Year because of this.
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