A Free And Independent Scotland.
Wed Oct 30, 2013 5:57 pm
I'm probably the last person you want behind your shoulder talking, Mir. But if I were to go along with even a tenth of what you're saying for just a moment... why would you think that?
Why do you think you're a bad person? A couple bad jokes? Things you cannot control? You can always look around you. Put into perspective just who the real bad people are. Maybe you're thinking a little too small, go cosmic, man. Smoke some of that good shit and return to your apex.
Sat Nov 02, 2013 12:00 pm
I have decided to stop smoking for a few years. Or, if i don't even remember by then, to never smoke again.
I need to change my lifestyle. I can't keep going on anymore like this.
Sorry for the trouble.
Sat Nov 02, 2013 1:25 pm
Don't need to apologize, Mir.
Good for you, deciding you need to do something and make a change
Sat Nov 02, 2013 2:28 pm
Is not like i'm liking this one bit.
I am dying and smoking is one of the many causes. That's all.
I'd wish i could get out of this, be healthy once more, be able to do everything i want.
I am not very sure i will ever return to that now, and it hurts. I just hope i can find more things that can distract me.
Right now i am looking for a new forum. This one just no longer has enough activity for me to use it as a therapeutic distraction. Doesn't mean i'll leave, i'd just wish i knew of more communities that sort of resembled this one. Haven't got much luck on that side though.
Btw tuor, sorry for not replying to your inbox till very recently. As i told you, i really didn't even want to type anymore.
Sat Nov 02, 2013 3:08 pm
Good luck Mir, if you can accomplish this feat then you can accomplish pretty much anything.
Sat Nov 02, 2013 3:34 pm
So yeah, advice
I have a friend of four years, though I dont really consider her one anymore.
I'll try to make this rather short.
This girl has been off and on flirting with me for 2 - 3 months. it started out pretty cnool, but over time it became her teling me how much she cared about me, then getting something out of me, then proceeding to talk me to death about this other guy she was interested in. Which basically became me bashing on this guy, and her bashing with me. It got to the point she was telling me, and all of her friends all his secrets an insecurities, she even got to the point of showing her friends ( including me ) pictures of his chode. And making an endless array of jokes about that and just about everything about that.
One day, she starts getting really nervous around me, acting really cutesy, and tells me that she wants to buy condoms, but she's too nervous to go buy them, so she asks me. Just to give me a bit of extra convincing she tells me that she'd even. " give me something extra ." So like your typical horny idiot, I did it, and lo and behold she does give me extra, she pays me back with 10 bucks . . .
And the condoms, yep you guessed it, were just in case she and that guy she never shut up about actually decided to go all the way.
So now I'm pissed but I'm a passive aggressive SOB so I pretended I was fine. She continues telling me everything about what she did with him that evening, but shows me the unopened box of condoms, and tells me she loves me so she didn't let him have her virginity. Conflicted as shit I decide to take her to the mall to to get a real bearing on how far she was willing to play this game.
I finally got it through my head I was going nowhere with this girl and told her that since she had played this game with me so long I'd simply sink her relationship. After all she had told me everything about this guy, he was an insecure introvert, If I told him everything she'd told me and done, and showed me, and everyone else, he'd never want anything to do with her again.
Now I told her I was going to do this, and she started sobbing, telling me FIRST how she loved me, but liked him too much to choose, then how she liked him more, but still cared, and then went full blown tears and choked coughing when I didnt budge and she told me finally,she loved him and he was the only thing that mattered.
Now Im caught at a cross roads, at firts I wanted revenge, and was ready to tell him simply because I hated her that much, then time ebed and I felt like a bitch.
But now, I'm sitting here thinking, would I really want someone like that to be with me? to be unkowningly putting all my trust in someone who did that kind of thing to me? Would probably continue to do it Not to mention the kind of things she would have on him later, and what she'd do if they broke up. so now I'm sitting here wondering. Not if its because im bitter or not.
Do i tell him ?
Sat Nov 02, 2013 3:57 pm
Consider that doing it won't help you. At all. But you will cause damage by doing it.
Sat Nov 02, 2013 4:20 pm
While that's true he would be saving this guy from a destructive relationship with a crazy girl. Sure it wouldn't help you specifically Louis but it would definitely help the other guy
Sat Nov 02, 2013 4:25 pm
Other people's drama has nothing to do with him though. By telling the other guy, he involves himself, when he can easily just let it go.
Sat Nov 02, 2013 4:36 pm
Tis true, the only reason im at a cross for this is because I keep thinking "If someone was doing that to me I'd want to know"
Sat Nov 02, 2013 4:39 pm
That's true, ultimately it's your decision so don't sweat it. You're not a bad person if you decide not to get involved.
Sat Nov 02, 2013 5:54 pm
Millo wrote:While that's true he would be saving this guy from a destructive relationship with a crazy girl. Sure it wouldn't help you specifically Louis but it would definitely help the other guy
That's fucked up. It's not his business. Think of the other guy. If someone comes up to you and goes "hey you know i used to hang out with your girl and you're better off dude" what would you do? Me, id punch the stupid out of his face, for it is not his damn business who i hang out with.
If the other guy realizes the girl isn't of his best interest then he'll realize with time, and it's something that guy has to face himself, not something someone else has to go and tell him.
Sat Nov 02, 2013 8:07 pm
For me what's fucked up is that it doesn't seem like you really objected to what she was doing until you realized that you weren't going to get anything out of her. Don't try and say you'd be telling him for his own good, now. It doesn't seem like you *really* had any qualms about it until now. If you're going to do it, be honest with yourself about why you're doing it. It's because you're bitter, 100%.
Mon Nov 04, 2013 7:04 pm
Yeah I have to agree with Tuor here it is pretty efed up
Sat Nov 23, 2013 7:20 pm
I have no mouth but i must scream
That's the best way i can describe how i feel some times. I've tried painting that feeling, making the mouth wider and wider adding more teeth sharper and ever sharper but its not enough. The mouth isn't big enough for me to scream it's too small. There's knots in my stomach, it's like a leech eating at my insides and there's still plenty left over. Like a black hole that is slowly erasing me from existence form the inside. I have no mouth but i must scream, and even with a mouth big enough my voice is too soft to scream hard. I need to let out all the bottled up emotion. I don't do it on purpose, bottle it up, it's just a side effect of the black hole in my stomach. I'll probably forget about this feeling by tomorrow.
Sat Nov 23, 2013 9:14 pm
You don't forget, you just learn to live with it. Eventually it'll fade, in time.
Sat Nov 23, 2013 9:14 pm
You shouldn't have to "learn to live with it", you should find an outlet.
Sat Nov 23, 2013 9:21 pm
I already know how to live with it. Doesn't mean i want to
Sat Nov 23, 2013 9:38 pm
An outlet is a way to live with it. That's how it fades.
Sat Nov 23, 2013 9:42 pm
I'll fade you
Sat Nov 23, 2013 10:04 pm
I don't need an Outlet, i need it out. For Christs sake i'm in total fucking love with a girl who really likes me and i'm sitting here feeling like my Parents died. Fuck this.
Sat Nov 23, 2013 10:05 pm
an outlet is a way for it to get out
Sat Nov 23, 2013 10:07 pm
I have an outlet kinda, it's people. Something about talking to people and just being around them makes me feel a lot better.
Sat Nov 23, 2013 10:10 pm
That's a good start. You can use the forums/this thread for that too
Sat Nov 23, 2013 10:12 pm
Oh trust me i do, but it doesn't feel like enough. I need things to do to keep my mind off of it all.
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