Mr. Sefrol wrote:So, remember my issue from last page?
Vaguely. Something about a unknown triangle of drama.
Mr. Sefrol wrote: I've cried, worried over what's going on. Scenarios playing through my mind over and over. What if I did this, or how about saying/doing this to get her attention?
Why are you beating yourself up over this? Do you like her and want to get her attention, or is it just the fact that some innocent action you did was taken the wrong way, or that you could e getting slandered by someone?
It sounds like you are beating yourself up over this more than anyone else. Just move on. Forget them, make new friends, and live life.
Mr. Sefrol wrote: How can the simplicity of silence drive me so far?
It's your mind drawing up a number of hypothetical and/or illogical events and reactions. Literally, your brain is taking things too far and too serious.
Mr. Sefrol wrote: Was it her choice?
We all have the choice to react to things. How we let something affect us is more important than what caused it to happen.
Mr. Sefrol wrote: Is her bf actually my friend?
Mr. Sefrol wrote: Are they avoiding me too?
No. You just haven't seen them for a while.
Mr. Sefrol wrote:Am I a burden? Too needy?
Can you find the strenght to take care of your own problems or do you have to beg for help at every obstacle? This thread doesn't count, I'm looking more at your life than here. If you are a burden or needy, it means, to me, that you need help the entire time and whine about every little thing under the sun. Often times though, you yourself cannot be a fair evaluator of your own actions. You are influenced heavily by your own emotions and some days you are good to yourself other days, not so much.
You are your biggest critic.
Mr. Sefrol wrote:Where are my friends when I need them now? I need someone.
How are they to help you? Call them up and ask them some of these questions.
Mr. Sefrol wrote:where is that smile from such a short time away gone?
Gone once you placed your attention and focus on yourself.
Mr. Sefrol wrote:I need a fucking psychiatrist or something.
That'd be a good idea.
In all of this, I think you are taking the situation way too far and way too serious. You are working yourself up over something that really doesn't matter. Friendships are good, we like them, they give us value and fun times. But they are also temporary. Don't get so hung up on what someone could think of you and worrying if you might ave caused offense. If you have friends that won't tell you when you fucked up and offended them, they aren't your friends.