ari-6 wrote: a life coach
This is my view, btw. I don't really care if anyone disagrees with it. We all deal with life in a different way, and this is just my opinion on it.
ari-6 wrote:right now myself and my goals are my only concern. That is not what I consider my problem.
That's good because you are at that stage in life where you need to be the number one concern. Yes, caring for others is important, but the next six some odd years is going to define the rest of your life. During that time you will hopefully get a great education, find a career you love, ad (imho) find the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with. Your actions right now are going to define the rest of your life.
ari-6 wrote: I have no drive to socialize with anyone.
Tuor has the best advise for that. The best way to do something that you know you need to do is to go force yourself to do it. Find some clubs or teams of something that you enjoy doing and join them. Even for lunch or something, go sit in the commons and surround yourself with people. I wouldn't relax, you're doing enough of that right now. Get out and go do something.
ari-6 wrote:I have my goals but I have no drive to push myself towards achieving them
I understand a bit where you are coming from with this, as I myself am in a similar situation, but its more like I'm so stressed out that it is inhibiting my ability to focus, but that is a completely different story. But when my drive is knocked out, I listen to music or watch things that are similar to what I'm working on, like say art. If I'm having a problem getting motivated on that, I watch shows that are doing the art style I've been focusing on.
You're possibly looking at them and going "meh, what's the point?" Well the point is you. It's always been you. You are the first reason you are doing something because you wanted it for some reason. Other people, other things are usually a second reason. I didn't take up art for my sister, or my best friend, I took it up because dammit, it looks fun and I wanted to be able to do it. When I get better, am I going to use my talent to help other people? Yus. But for now, its because I wanted it.
You want those things because they hold some value to you. They are your goals and dreams because at the time you aspired to be someone better than who you are right now. It's up to you to keep pushing because you are going to start realizing that its going to be tough. There are going to be moments of growing pains, and failures, but every time you fall just means that the next time you rise up, you are going to be a little taller.
What do you fear? Failure? Negative attention? Pain? In my experience with people who have given up dreams and goals, it was because of this fear of judgement. That fear kept them back, and put their drive into neutral. You can't let yourself get trapped like that.
I also like quotes and here are two I want to share with you:
1: The greatest prison people live in is the fear of what other people think. ~ David Icke
2: Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us. ~ Marianne Williamson
ari-6 wrote:I just don't know what to do to get myself out of this rut. So I thought maybe someone of the people who like to talk about others problems might have some genuinely good advice. I want to be one of those people who is proud of what they accomplish in a day.
Then you have to decide right now if you want to change and if you are willing to do it.
Make a plan, a list, and goals.
Plan out your days and weeks. Decided when you are going to go try and do things. Set time aside in the day for personal activities such as reading or drawing, about an hour each or so. Then have time set aside for activities or service projects with other people. Service projects will actually boost your mood considerably. Have some time in your day for school, work, family, etc. But I also want you to go out and explore your campus and make friends.
Lists are valuable. I love lists, to do lists, etc. My time as a missionary had me making tons of lists to keep myself organized and focused. It worked pretty well for me and still works well for me to this day. Write doing a list of the things you have to do, and want to do. these lists need to be focused somewhere in your living space, mine are on my mirror so I see them everyday and so I never forget what I want and need to do. You can even do a "challenges list" where you go and try new things. This ties in considerably with the goals.
For goals, make a daily and weekly goals. These are goals of things you want to get done or need to get done. As a missionary there were many times where we didn't meet out goals or the day just went terrible. So another missionary, who was my Zone Leader, challenged us to have five daily goals of things that would force us to go out of our way sometimes to get done, but it would help us feel like the day wasn't worthless and that we actually did something. They were things like "Try a new place to eat" or "see five inactive members". What I want you to do is try something similar. Make a list of five or so daily goals that will help push you out of your comfort zone and doing something. they shouldn't be too hard, things like "go try a new place to eat", or "go to the gym for a hour". They are going to be boosters that make you feel like you actually did something ad will help you get that confidence you need to keep going.
Weekly goals, I usually had about two or three. they were harder and took more time to do, but where designed to lead me to continue to push my main goals and dreams.
ari-6 wrote: I will be motivated
this is your new motto, not waiting for someone to come along. You wait like that, its already too late to do anything.
You are unhappy with your life, then you need to get up and do something about it. You need to stand up to yourself.
There are two types of people in this world, Ari. Those that are acted upon, and those that choose to act. Leonardo da Vinci said "It has long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things."
Ari, I know you can do whatever it is that you set your heart on. You can do it, can you hear me? Of course not, but you sure as hell better be getting what I'm writing.
You can do it. The only person that is going to stop you is you. So stop stopping yourself, get up, get excited, believe in yourself and do what you want to do.