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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby EagleMan » Sun Aug 25, 2013 10:50 am

don't cut yourself on that edginess now
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Q.U. » Sun Aug 25, 2013 11:28 am

I don't think that word means what you think it means. Like, at all.

Unless being mentally healthy and stable is somehow considered pretentious. Did it come to that already? Are mentally healthy people considered tryhards and showoffs? That is very sad if true.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby EagleMan » Sun Aug 25, 2013 11:48 am

Are you supposed to lack any social sense at all? You're a moderator and acting this way, implying yourself better than others for not being depressed and/or suicidal in a therapy thread specifically designed for people to talk about those feelings. You're smart so stop being an idiot please. No one needs your ego trip in this thread, you have the rest of the forum to do it in.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Mir@k » Sun Aug 25, 2013 12:46 pm

Q.U. wrote:
Mir@k wrote:Anyone else wants to go "me too me too"? Not meaning to offend anybody, i just wonder what the point of that is.
Or i'm high. Whatever.

Let's start our own thread for "people who have to dig through the same shit as everyone else but have never been depressed or suicidal because of it". We could invite BR and a bunch of other cool people and hang out in there.
i didn't respond to this even though i wanted to because anything said on this thread that remotely resembles criticism is going to be vilified. Look, you were even unjustly called an idiot already and even called out on your moderator status because your opinion differs or points banality or blatant whor   in-(whoops bad word bad word people could get angry and in their anger read messages withing posts that don't exists like just happened above   . I just didn't think this was some kind of clusterfuck of different kinds of therapies, even those that are made up. :P Like,
EagleMan wrote:specifically designed for people to talk about those feelings
alright so hit me with a rolled newspaper if you want but this is the ad for a suicide hotline, and i personally think that is kinda screwed up that we are now using this thread for something like that because, even assuming that everyone posting after stuff weren't just bandwagoning for attention and were actually seeking advice, or actual well, theraphy, i don't see how condoning a feeling of relation or identification out of suicidal feelings is therapeutic at all. I think most of us know how, why and when this trend started on this forum and i think it's pretty unhealthy and kinda disrespectful that people are still doing that kind of stuff.

But yeah, better stop wearing a shirt of a different color than everyone else before anybody else gets yelled at.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Blood Lord » Sun Aug 25, 2013 1:14 pm

Mir@k wrote:But yeah, better stop wearing a shirt of a different color than everyone else before anybody else gets yelled at.

I don't know if I want to chance that. I'm going shirtless.

Mir@k wrote:assuming that everyone posting after stuff weren't just bandwagoning for attention and were actually seeking advice, or actual well, theraphy, i don't see how condoning a feeling of relation or identification out of suicidal feelings is therapeutic at all. I think most of us know how, why and when this trend started on this forum and i think it's pretty unhealthy and kinda disrespectful that people are still doing that kind of stuff.

I agree with this. I thought this was a thread for people to come and post their problems and get some advise from others on what to do.

That being said, I do toss my chips in with Mir and QU here.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Tuor » Sun Aug 25, 2013 2:06 pm

Blood Lord wrote:I agree with this. I thought this was a thread for people to come and post their problems and get some advise from others on what to do.

It's also a place for people to just vent and talk about feelings and stuff (corny as that sounds) without being judged for doing that like they would in other parts of the forums.
"Suddenly Frodo noticed that a strange-looking weather-beaten man, sitting in the shadows near the wall, was also listening intently to the hobbit-talk. He had a tall tankard in front of him, and was smoking a long-stemmed pipe curiously carved. His legs were stretched out before him, showing high boots of supple leather that fitted him well, but had seen much wear and were now caked with mud. A travel-stained cloak of heavy dark-green cloth was drawn close about him, and in spite of the heat of the room he wore a hood that overshadowed his face; but the gleam of his eyes could be seen as he watched the hobbits."
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Q.U. » Sun Aug 25, 2013 5:57 pm

I don't feel bad for not giving good advice or therapy to the people who post here. I'm not a shrink nor a therapist, I am not obliged to be able to help you or make you feel better. Nor do I feel bad for not being able to relate to those who suffer from depression and suicidal thoughts, I'm quite glad I don't know what it's like. I also don't feel bad for being distressed when I see people do a show of hands of who tried to commit or contemplated suicide. And that's not because I feel people who do that are inferior, it just staggers me how widespread depression and suicidal thoughts are becoming in our societies with every passing decade.

It worries me even more so when I see this thread turn from "let's share our life experience to come up with good advice and solutions to this guy's problems because some of us already pulled through such stuff and we could be able to help him", into a "how to cut yourself to get the most pain out of it".

Stuff made a nice self-realisation post, then tenshi and serfol made a not-exactly-necessary but still optimistic posts on perspective of their younger suicidal selves, only to have it topped off with a discussion that seemed like it was about to steer into the "how to write the best suicide note/poem" theme, before EM tried to salvage it with some guilt pulling on the old "live for those who want you to stay alive".

I see Tuor's words, and I agree. I am all for a "life advice" thread. I accept the need for a "feels" or "vent your stories" thread. But this has been neither. Because we all know how it would eventually turn out. A show and tell of posts where each person vies for attention by attempting to tell a more horrid and twisted story from their lives than the last one. Don't believe me? Then remember this: I fucking called it.

I do see that I'm a pain for you guys trying to spark some legitimate discussion here, though. Sorry about that. So as not to disrupt the purpose of a potentially good thread any further I'm leaving you to it. I keep telling myself that I won't be posting here again and I keep failing at it. That's my bad.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Tuor » Sun Aug 25, 2013 6:41 pm

Q.U. wrote:It worries me even more so when I see this thread turn from "let's share our life experience to come up with good advice and solutions to this guy's problems because some of us already pulled through such stuff and we could be able to help him", into a "how to cut yourself to get the most pain out of it".

I'm not really sure where that happened, but ok.


Q.U. wrote:I see Tuor's words, and I agree. I am all for a "life advice" thread. I accept the need for a "feels" or "vent your stories" thread. But this has been neither.
I disagree, but we already know that we differ on our view of this thread, as has been discussed before.
Q.U. wrote:Don't believe me? Then remember this: I fucking called it.
Wow, that's so called for. Awesome.
Q.U. wrote:I do see that I'm a pain for you guys trying to spark some legitimate discussion here, though. Sorry about that. So as not to disrupt the purpose of a potentially good thread any further I'm leaving you to it. I keep telling myself that I won't be posting here again and I keep failing at it. That's my bad.
I don't see how it's "legitimate discussion" when it's not liable to be seen as particularly helpful for the people that need to post in here, at least not in the manner you were originally attempting said "legitimate" discussion.
"Suddenly Frodo noticed that a strange-looking weather-beaten man, sitting in the shadows near the wall, was also listening intently to the hobbit-talk. He had a tall tankard in front of him, and was smoking a long-stemmed pipe curiously carved. His legs were stretched out before him, showing high boots of supple leather that fitted him well, but had seen much wear and were now caked with mud. A travel-stained cloak of heavy dark-green cloth was drawn close about him, and in spite of the heat of the room he wore a hood that overshadowed his face; but the gleam of his eyes could be seen as he watched the hobbits."
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby EagleMan » Sun Aug 25, 2013 7:08 pm

QU it seems like you're misinterpreting what was being said before. Other people were just sharing that they too have thought about it before or even written a note. That's called bonding. That is not analogous to advice on how to cut yourself. The alcoholic does not go to a bunch of Mormons for advice on how to deal with their alcoholism, they talk to others who are feeling the same thing or have been through it. And my post wasn't about guilt tripping at all. It was just saying you should give people a chance if you haven't. If they deserve a note then they probably deserve your confidence. No one deserves to live in suffering just for the happiness of others. It's a very selfish person that demands "live in pain so that I may live in happiness".

It's just the way you comport yourself in this thread that seems disrespectful. It'd be disrespectful of me to attend an AA meeting and lord over the people there that I've gotten through life without having to resort to alcohol as a coping mechanism. If anything I'll set those people back on their road of recovery.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Blood Lord » Sun Aug 25, 2013 11:14 pm

EagleMan wrote: The alcoholic does not go to a bunch of Mormons for advice on how to deal with their alcoholism, they talk to others who are feeling the same thing or have been through it

Wow. I feel like I should be offended or something.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Princess » Sun Aug 25, 2013 11:20 pm

It wasn't meant to be offensive, he was just using mormons as an example because they're known not to drink.


(though, I do know some who do drink.)
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Blood Lord » Sun Aug 25, 2013 11:32 pm

I get that. But some part of me still wants to be.

And so do I. People ain't perfect.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Tuor » Sun Aug 25, 2013 11:57 pm

Well…I'm single, after a bit of a complicated process.This feels quite strange in a lot of ways.
"Suddenly Frodo noticed that a strange-looking weather-beaten man, sitting in the shadows near the wall, was also listening intently to the hobbit-talk. He had a tall tankard in front of him, and was smoking a long-stemmed pipe curiously carved. His legs were stretched out before him, showing high boots of supple leather that fitted him well, but had seen much wear and were now caked with mud. A travel-stained cloak of heavy dark-green cloth was drawn close about him, and in spite of the heat of the room he wore a hood that overshadowed his face; but the gleam of his eyes could be seen as he watched the hobbits."
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Princess » Sun Aug 25, 2013 11:57 pm

WHAT
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Exodis » Sun Aug 25, 2013 11:58 pm

Oh man... sorry to hear, Tuor.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby EagleMan » Mon Aug 26, 2013 12:26 am

Blood Lord wrote:I get that. But some part of me still wants to be.

And so do I. People ain't perfect.

I meant it more on dealing with the urge to resort to alcohol itself, not that a Mormon is automatically unsuited to help an alcoholic. Generally most Mormons won't know about the urges (of course, I was just using the stereotype). For instance as a nondrinker I was unable to counsel Yog about dealing with the urge to drink, even if I could give advice on other things issues that, while stemming from the alcoholism, weren't tied into the alcohol itself. Sometimes the only people who can help are the people who've went through those experiences and feelings themselves.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Mir@k » Mon Aug 26, 2013 1:47 am

Tuor wrote:Well…I'm single, after a bit of a complicated process.This feels quite strange in a lot of ways.
woah man what happened?
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Tuor » Mon Aug 26, 2013 1:55 am

Well, we had gone on a break kinda thing initially, but then decided to make it over permanently. It got to a point where it felt like a chore for both us both, and we've both grown a lot and neither of us was really what the other needed in a partner anymore. We used to be really comfortable being ourselves around each other and we balanced each other out, and that stopped being the case in the last year or so. It was a mutual sort of realization. It'll be a very surreal feeling being single after so long though. I've never been single as an adult. I don't know that I really know how to, haha.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Mr. Sefrol » Mon Aug 26, 2013 2:36 am

From what I'm reading it looks like you two separated very peacefully. But I can understand those confusing feelings. You've been used to someone being there for the longest time, it's odd getting used to their absence. Take to heart though that it wasn't painful as most of these situations are. To my understanding at least.

And don't feel any sort of need to get back into a relationship. There's no rush.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Tuor » Mon Aug 26, 2013 2:41 am

Ya, it's for sure not as painful as most splits.

I've been in a relationship for over 5 years, I'm definitely not in a hurry to get back into one now
"Suddenly Frodo noticed that a strange-looking weather-beaten man, sitting in the shadows near the wall, was also listening intently to the hobbit-talk. He had a tall tankard in front of him, and was smoking a long-stemmed pipe curiously carved. His legs were stretched out before him, showing high boots of supple leather that fitted him well, but had seen much wear and were now caked with mud. A travel-stained cloak of heavy dark-green cloth was drawn close about him, and in spite of the heat of the room he wore a hood that overshadowed his face; but the gleam of his eyes could be seen as he watched the hobbits."
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Mr. Sefrol » Mon Aug 26, 2013 5:51 am

I've known people that aren't ever satisfied with being single, so was dropping that bit just to make sure.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Warbear » Mon Aug 26, 2013 7:20 am

I only learned that you had a girlfriend a few months ago; how long were you guys even together?

In me news: We've found a place to live, put down the damage deposit, and we're able to move in whenever. Got the keys and everything. Sarah picked a decent place, gotta say. Has laundry and a decently sized balcony. Even a second room so I can have kind of a man-cave I guess. *shrug* Just gotta worry about doing the first month's rent but that doesn't need to be paid until the 1st so WOO. Only issue is that it's on the other side of town from where I work, so I'll be spending more money on bus passes, but I've got a second job so that should be alright.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Tuor » Mon Aug 26, 2013 12:39 pm

Warbear wrote:I only learned that you had a girlfriend a few months ago; how long were you guys even together?

Like, 5 and a half years
"Suddenly Frodo noticed that a strange-looking weather-beaten man, sitting in the shadows near the wall, was also listening intently to the hobbit-talk. He had a tall tankard in front of him, and was smoking a long-stemmed pipe curiously carved. His legs were stretched out before him, showing high boots of supple leather that fitted him well, but had seen much wear and were now caked with mud. A travel-stained cloak of heavy dark-green cloth was drawn close about him, and in spite of the heat of the room he wore a hood that overshadowed his face; but the gleam of his eyes could be seen as he watched the hobbits."
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby EagleMan » Mon Aug 26, 2013 2:37 pm

Man, that's like a divorce if you've been together that long. At least it ended reasonably well.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Tuor » Mon Aug 26, 2013 4:05 pm

Haha, I guess it kinda is. Ya, thing ended well, everything was quite mutual
"Suddenly Frodo noticed that a strange-looking weather-beaten man, sitting in the shadows near the wall, was also listening intently to the hobbit-talk. He had a tall tankard in front of him, and was smoking a long-stemmed pipe curiously carved. His legs were stretched out before him, showing high boots of supple leather that fitted him well, but had seen much wear and were now caked with mud. A travel-stained cloak of heavy dark-green cloth was drawn close about him, and in spite of the heat of the room he wore a hood that overshadowed his face; but the gleam of his eyes could be seen as he watched the hobbits."
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