Mr. Sefrol wrote:I don't know. There were so many issues I had at that age. I thought it was behind me, but it's been feeling like lately so many things have been reminding me it's there. I said before not long ago I've been making thing complicated for myself and that I should make things more simple. But right now things are just overwhelming me. These emotions I thought I concurred are getting a foothold again. It's not a lot, but I can see it.
I hated my old self. I made one fell swoop to gut such sadness and anger from me. To be happy. I want to stay happy like everyone knows me to be.
That is your conflict, my dear friend.
Growth does not result from our rejection of our selves. It merely comes from acceptance and improvements on those flaws.
Do not push away these feelings of anger and sadness. Instead, embrace them, in order to find their root, and then nullify the cause.
Incorporate the good of each version, and leave out the bad. Become the best Pabst you can be.
And finally, do not force yourself to be happy, to be someone you're not, for the sake of others. The only person who should be anyone for is yourself.
I truly wish you luck. You must not let yourself be told how to act, what to say, etc, if you truly believe in what you are trying to communicate.
That does not mean you can ignore everyone's offers of advice. It merely means that instead of outright change, you should try for improvement.
I hope you find your way.