Snafu Therapy Thread. *TRIGGER WARNINGS* This topic is under Mod protection

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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Blood Lord » Mon Jun 10, 2013 11:47 pm

Mr. Sefrol wrote:This stigma that since I'm feeling these things, I'm becoming the person I was before...

I'm kinda scared and in a little bit of a dark place in my mind.

Ahh. The dark side of one's self. Quite the interesting and self discovering place to be. Well, can be. It seems more like you are being tormented by your past. I have a friend who had a similar experience in high school. His issue was that he didn't change himself completely, there were things he hadn't corrected that pulled him back into being the person he use to be.

Did you leave something unresolved?
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Mr. Sefrol » Mon Jun 10, 2013 11:57 pm

I don't know. There were so many issues I had at that age. I thought it was behind me, but it's been feeling like lately so many things have been reminding me it's there. I said before not long ago I've been making thing complicated for myself and that I should make things more simple. But right now things are just overwhelming me. These emotions I thought I concurred are getting a foothold again. It's not a lot, but I can see it.

I hated my old self. I made one fell swoop to gut such sadness and anger from me. To be happy. I want to stay happy like everyone knows me to be.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Blood Lord » Tue Jun 11, 2013 12:17 am

Well then, you need to dive into yourself. I am curious to see if it is the same thing as my friend had, it sounds the same at least. It also sounds like you are retreating to familiar territory when you are under too much pressure. the mind can do that when it is overwhelmed, its a unconscious action.

Perhaps this will help you, but this is what my friend did. It might help you, but he was really detailed focus and could detach himself from problems and work at them form a different angle for a while.
1: Made a list that compared his old self and his new self. He put likes, dislikes, habits, etc on it.
2: Listed down events that changed his life; good and bad.
3: Noted things that had happened in the last two-four weeks that could have caused this change.
4: Selected close friends as a sort of council to help him.
5: Did happy things. Worked out a lot when depression tried to get him or any negative feelings.

We're also both members of the same faith, which I think it helped quite a bit. So he did religious things and we talked about religion and Gospel principles for quite a long time.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Yog » Tue Jun 11, 2013 10:09 am

Mr. Sefrol wrote:I don't know. There were so many issues I had at that age. I thought it was behind me, but it's been feeling like lately so many things have been reminding me it's there. I said before not long ago I've been making thing complicated for myself and that I should make things more simple. But right now things are just overwhelming me. These emotions I thought I concurred are getting a foothold again. It's not a lot, but I can see it.

I hated my old self. I made one fell swoop to gut such sadness and anger from me. To be happy. I want to stay happy like everyone knows me to be.

That is your conflict, my dear friend.

Growth does not result from our rejection of our selves. It merely comes from acceptance and improvements on those flaws.

Do not push away these feelings of anger and sadness. Instead, embrace them, in order to find their root, and then nullify the cause.

Incorporate the good of each version, and leave out the bad. Become the best Pabst you can be.

And finally, do not force yourself to be happy, to be someone you're not, for the sake of others. The only person who should be anyone for is yourself.

I truly wish you luck. You must not let yourself be told how to act, what to say, etc, if you truly believe in what you are trying to communicate.

That does not mean you can ignore everyone's offers of advice. It merely means that instead of outright change, you should try for improvement.

I hope you find your way.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby True Order » Tue Jun 11, 2013 2:21 pm

Blood Lord wrote:Ahh. The dark side of one's self. Quite the interesting and self discovering place to be.


Yes. Darkness can reveal more than light ever could in situations such as this. Interesting but typically it gives off a fearful/worrying feel. Not fun.


I'll admit I'm not quite fully grasping what you're going through monsieur Sef, but I wish you luck with it and hope you fix/get a better understanding of it and end up all the better. ^^

I fear I may be approaching a similiar place but I'm probably just being paranoid.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby EagleMan » Tue Jun 11, 2013 7:06 pm

Mr. Sefrol wrote:I don't know. There were so many issues I had at that age. I thought it was behind me, but it's been feeling like lately so many things have been reminding me it's there. I said before not long ago I've been making thing complicated for myself and that I should make things more simple. But right now things are just overwhelming me. These emotions I thought I concurred are getting a foothold again. It's not a lot, but I can see it.

I hated my old self. I made one fell swoop to gut such sadness and anger from me. To be happy. I want to stay happy like everyone knows me to be.

One who explicitly seeks happiness will never find it. You do not go looking for it. You have to make yourself ready for it, and when one day it reveals itself, you'll be ready to seize it.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Yog » Thu Jun 13, 2013 12:26 am

Fuck, it's like no matter what I do, it comes back to my mom.

I've been trying to pretend that she doesn't even exist, to get rid of the fucking ache.

But it doesn't work, and it keeps feeling worse.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Exodis » Thu Jun 13, 2013 12:47 am

Don't force yourself to forget here. You have to adapt to the fact that you're mom isn't here, and then you'll slowly get used to it. Try to distract yourself with some activities that you can try. Friends, working out, video games, hell maybe a hike or two. Maybe meditation? I've tried it once when I was depressed at a Meditation Center and it really helped clear my mind. Just an option.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby EagleMan » Thu Jun 13, 2013 2:23 am

Why would you try to pretend that? Yog you always seem to try to run away from your feelings, in the belief that you can somehow purge them through sheer force of will. Not that I have any advice about that, it's just an observation. It doesn't really seem to work for you as far as I've seen.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Tuor » Thu Jun 13, 2013 3:02 am

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Yog, you need to find some closure with this, you need to find a healthy way to let these feelings out, so express them, bottling feelings up and ignoring them is not the answer.
"Suddenly Frodo noticed that a strange-looking weather-beaten man, sitting in the shadows near the wall, was also listening intently to the hobbit-talk. He had a tall tankard in front of him, and was smoking a long-stemmed pipe curiously carved. His legs were stretched out before him, showing high boots of supple leather that fitted him well, but had seen much wear and were now caked with mud. A travel-stained cloak of heavy dark-green cloth was drawn close about him, and in spite of the heat of the room he wore a hood that overshadowed his face; but the gleam of his eyes could be seen as he watched the hobbits."
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Yog » Thu Jun 13, 2013 9:04 am

Emotions cripple you. They don't allow you to function well. Nothing good ever comes from giving yourself over to emotion, in my experience.

Hell, I have a history here to that effect.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby The Mad Doctor » Thu Jun 13, 2013 9:09 am

WRONG! Emotions are what allows us to strive to a better future. To overcome our sorrows! We fall off the horse, we get back up. That is what life is all about!
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby The Mad Doctor » Thu Jun 13, 2013 9:14 am

Would you rather have all of your emotions removed? To lose all sense of individuality? To become like a Cyberman or a Borg?

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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Yog » Thu Jun 13, 2013 9:16 am

Opinions are a pleasant thing to have as long as you recognize their purpose, you know.

In the past, I've given to my emotions, and let them torrent out.

Didn't make things better financially and socially.

Besides, I've never been good at 'venting'.

I grew up someone very much alone, and when I said that nobody really understood me during my teens, it wasn't angst talking. It was literally true.

I, Yog, am the result after you try and isolate someone during their childhood as much as possible, without going into outright child abuse. I grew up relying on myself, and only myself.

This place has been different, though. It's the first time I've ever let myself be just a bit vulnerable, and because of that, there's times where I grow to needy and dependent on the posters here due to my inability to regulate my emotions.

That's resulted in many a friendship terminated.

So, no, I don't believe emotions really help all that much.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby The Mad Doctor » Thu Jun 13, 2013 9:20 am

So, start again. You can make something better for yourself. You can learn to vent out all the negative! You are not a robot! You are human!
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Yog » Thu Jun 13, 2013 9:40 am

That'd be the first. Me, human.

While I appreciate your optimism, there's a specific reason why I chose the name of a Old God for this forum.

Besides being a fan of Lovecraft, I, along with many people that I've met over the course of my life, consider myself to be a monster. A freak.

This is not fishing. This is not me being pessimistic. It's just fact.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Tuor » Thu Jun 13, 2013 10:05 am

Don't let them torrent out then? Just release them in some way that's not that? Right now all you're doing in keeping them all inside is that eventually they're going to explode out of you, and given your track record, that'll probably result in you doing something incredibly self-destructive.
"Suddenly Frodo noticed that a strange-looking weather-beaten man, sitting in the shadows near the wall, was also listening intently to the hobbit-talk. He had a tall tankard in front of him, and was smoking a long-stemmed pipe curiously carved. His legs were stretched out before him, showing high boots of supple leather that fitted him well, but had seen much wear and were now caked with mud. A travel-stained cloak of heavy dark-green cloth was drawn close about him, and in spite of the heat of the room he wore a hood that overshadowed his face; but the gleam of his eyes could be seen as he watched the hobbits."
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby The Mad Doctor » Thu Jun 13, 2013 10:36 am

A hobby is an excelent way of venting out emotions.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Yog » Thu Jun 13, 2013 10:53 am

Tuor wrote:Don't let them torrent out then? Just release them in some way that's not that? Right now all you're doing in keeping them all inside is that eventually they're going to explode out of you, and given your track record, that'll probably result in you doing something incredibly self-destructive.

I guess that's true.

I have picked up a bad habit of infrequently punching walls, so you're probably right in my necessity to vent soon.

Hmm.

Well, there is one person that I was able to vent everything with. But that might pose a problem. It's Sarah, after all.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby True Order » Thu Jun 13, 2013 12:01 pm

In my time observing various individuals, during both times of peace and crisis. I see that emotions are quite a source of energy, but a double edged sword. If you learn to control them, TRULY control them, and find your personal happy medium between no emotions and overly emotional then you may find you seek.*Pending

But I have no idea how one goes about this aside from "doing it themselves." Pretty vague but yeah. if there's a way for an outside force to help someone with this I can't think of one. Perhaps something relaxing? Candles, music you love, etc?
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Mir@k » Thu Jun 13, 2013 12:08 pm

Yog wrote:Well, there is one person that I was able to vent everything with. But that might pose a problem. It's Sarah, after all.
Wooooah nigga.

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Nonono let's not sarah back she's very well and comfy being left at the far said of your brain's thought list. You know what i think you need? Go get signed up for salsa classes, or a knittting course, or a painting class, or whatever. I think you shouldn't look for ways to vent yourself because you're kind of a danger to yourself and you make shit choices that bring you problems because of this and that's not good. So maybe what you need is simply dive headfirst into "a hobby" class and let them instruct you and give you tasks to distract your mind. At the same time you'll be adquiring skills, applying your brain for something productive (you already know how therapeutic feeling like you're actually doing something is)..

Two hours a week at the very least. Meet people there. Make friends there, expand your knowledge of human behavior by someone other than the instrument of problems you've known up 'till now.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Tuor » Thu Jun 13, 2013 12:29 pm

Yes
"Suddenly Frodo noticed that a strange-looking weather-beaten man, sitting in the shadows near the wall, was also listening intently to the hobbit-talk. He had a tall tankard in front of him, and was smoking a long-stemmed pipe curiously carved. His legs were stretched out before him, showing high boots of supple leather that fitted him well, but had seen much wear and were now caked with mud. A travel-stained cloak of heavy dark-green cloth was drawn close about him, and in spite of the heat of the room he wore a hood that overshadowed his face; but the gleam of his eyes could be seen as he watched the hobbits."
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby True Order » Thu Jun 13, 2013 1:10 pm

Gewd plan, I think.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Yog » Thu Jun 13, 2013 2:56 pm

Well, I guess it's time I took a cooking class.

I'd always considered, but this seems like the best incentive.
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Re: Snafu Therapy Thread.

Postby Yog » Thu Jun 13, 2013 2:57 pm

Especially since mom's dream was to be a baker.

Maybe. Maybe I could understand her just a little bit, doing this.
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