This forum can be a scary place, 'cause we got lax rules: let's see your war face. Take a breath, and roll the dice, you might find out we're really nice.
Thu May 02, 2013 3:00 pm
Guys are also taught to take it out in different ways that are just as destructive but also more acceptable.
Thu May 02, 2013 3:02 pm
True, like drinking etc.
Thu May 02, 2013 4:11 pm
I understand where you're coming from Stuff, but you just gotta' stay positive and think of the good times you've had. You were even lucky enough to say goodbye. My dog had to be put down almost a year ago, and I didn't even know that it happened until I got home from work. She had cancer all over her body. But life goes on, you just gotta' cherish the memories you've had. Stay strong.
Thu May 02, 2013 4:41 pm
My grandma from my dad's side ran over my puppy and my other dog got eaten by my neighbors when I was really small. You should consider yourself lucky you've had an actual bond with dogs Stuff.
Seriously. Sorry if this post sounds kind of rude, but back when I was a kid, I liked dogs.
Thu May 02, 2013 4:43 pm
…eaten by your neighbours?
Thu May 02, 2013 4:55 pm
His neighbours were Korean.
Thu May 02, 2013 4:58 pm
Thu May 02, 2013 4:59 pm
Do you mean neighbor's dog?
Thu May 02, 2013 6:27 pm
Rosso Rose wrote:my other dog got eaten by my neighbors
What the fuck! Did not see that coming.
Were your neighbors Korean?Freakin' Koreans and their eating habits...
Thu May 02, 2013 7:25 pm
Good God, some of you guys should not be posting in here. Expressing how weird you think cutting is doesn't help the person struggling with it.
Especially not when cutting has become a compulsive habit for some that is hard to break away from. Hell, many forms of self-harm are compulsive actions or become
compulsive. Some people can't help themselves, and it's a difficult process to stop even after acknowledging that such actions are harmful, much like how it might be difficult for someone with an addiction.
Anyway, to Stuff: I'm sorry you're going through this. I can only imagine how painful this loss must be for you, seeing how strong a bond you clearly had with your dog. I actually came across a Tumblr post
on my dash the other day that listed alternative ways to cope with things and substitutes for cutting. It seems that some people have found this helpful in the past, so I hope this is helpful to you, and to anyone else struggling with self-harm.
I wish you all the best.
Thu May 02, 2013 9:30 pm
Self harm is never good. But I understand the compulsion to do it. I have minor burns on my hands from some incidents.
Stuff, I suggest you find an outlet that you could use to take out your anger/grief.
Painting is ok, but you have to let your inhibitions go during the activity. Let emotions run wild.
Another suggestion could be something physical and violent, aka a martial art.
Thu May 02, 2013 9:37 pm
Another method to help, which has been pretty successful in my experience, is just removing all items that you could use to harm yourself.
It sounds a bit crazy to remove all the knives/scissors/razors in your house, but once you go without them for a while, you'll learn ways to cope without them.
Getting rid of lighters and matches from my house for a few weeks pretty much broke my habit.
Fri May 03, 2013 8:38 pm
Hiroko wrote:Good God, some of you guys should not be posting in here. Expressing how weird you think cutting is doesn't help the person struggling with it.
yeah, seriously, shut the fuck up QU, shut the fuck up eggy. you both clearly have NO idea what you're talking about because you've admitted to not understanding at all.
stuff. you're very fortunate to have had Lucky for as long as you did. it was the right thing to let him go as much as it does suck.
my ex used to cut herself. her arms are covered in scars from her most persistent phase of it, but she would occasionally relapse. the only thing that i could ever do to help was to comfort her. i tried to physically stop her once, but it exacerbated the situation. what finally had some progress was the constant repetition to her that it's just a short term solution. pain sucks, but it subsides. emotional pain takes longer to fade than the physical, but to cut is simply to distract yourself from the emotional pain you're in. scars fade over time. all of them do, whether they're on your psyche or your forearm. it's just a matter of patience.
i know it's really fuckin terrible, but the pain does subside. it won't be noticeable tonight, but over the coming weeks: normality will resume.
i hope you're alright, stuff, and i hope you can resist the temptation, but tell me if you can't. you've still got a friend.
i remember how much it hurt me to hear from my ex that she had cut herself the previous night or the night before, because i felt like she could've turned to me instead of doing that, but i know that that's just egotistical of myself now. you're
dealing with your
pain in your
way. all i can do is wish you all the best. you've got people that care about you here.
Mon May 13, 2013 1:33 pm
I'm sorry to hear about your experience stuff.
I've lost a couple of pets and it's never easy.
Just remember if you ever need anyone to talk to we're always here for you.
Wed May 15, 2013 9:30 pm
Well, one thing you can do is:
Write down that you may cut yourself, should you feel that you may do it that day.
When you are about to do it, remind yourself that you are about to cut yourself.
What will happen is that instead of having it pass through your mind like a habit, you may find that you will be consciously thinking about it, making it a deliberation. If you believe that you should not be doing this, then this should reduce possible incidents.
Sun May 26, 2013 1:35 am
So, I dunno what to really feel here.
Just yesterday, I broke it off with this one girl...no, this slut that can't keep her snatch closed for more than a couple hours (let's call her Snatch), because she was generally unfeeling to me. Weeks back, she was begging me to get back with her, and now what, right? We never talked, never dated, barely even hugged, and I just didn't feel about her. Being the heartless ladypimp she is, I imagine she was saving me for later.
Seriously, she brings three of her exes to the con, romancing their shit, and all she does is poke my side and ask what I'm eating. Fuck that shit, what happened to 'now or never' and 'it's either you or I'm a lesbian'? At least i can take a good lesson from the shit; It isn't about boys and girls, but good and bad people. Girls can fuck you over just as much as guys can.
But today, holy shiiit.
This is like, a dream. The girl I went to the con with (and from then on she was dubbed Piplup) and I have decided to become a thing. She's cute, batshit, a little over the top and a lot of fun to be around. I can feel, actually! Things do work out, and timing varies! And it feels...regular.
I'm trying to figure out if that's a bad thing. She told me word for word that it feels like she's known me since we were kids, and I just don't feel that. I tell Piplup, and she suggested that it may be that I was still mad about Snatch at the way Snatch treated me, and I could be afraid she'll just be another Snatch. Could that be right? At this point, we're probably levels ahead of my experience with that slut, and we haven't even kissed yet. Is it bad that I'm not as warm about me and Piplup as Piplup is?
Is it just hype? I don't want it to be. I don't want it to be the con around us, or some one-night-stand type shit...
Sun May 26, 2013 1:41 am
Piplup may just be excited about the new relationship. Sometimes people say goofy things when they get giddy like that. If she keeps up that sort of talk though for weeks on end, it might be a sign of real crazy and that you need to bail. Otherwise it isn't bad of you to not reciprocate that excitement. Based on what you said you seem happy about it to, you just aren't expressing it the same way as she. That isn't necessarily a bad thing. Also, you may just be recovering emotionally still from the previous girl. You might just be afraid to get excited about it just to have your feelings get hurt again, so you're staying more reserved this time around.
However, it's also quite possible, and indeed, likely, that she knew you as a kid and you forgot about her, and for forgetting her she will become your girlfriend and slowly make your life a horror show for the social slight you have dealt her.
Sun May 26, 2013 1:42 am
You could also be holding some back for fear of being hurt again, that'd be natural. However, just because you don't feel it in the same way that she does, doesn't mean that you don't like her as much.
Edit: EM types too fast
Sun May 26, 2013 1:43 am
I'm a bit confused on your storytelling, but from what I can tell is that you were hurt, and now some other girl wants to be with you, but you're unsure? Is that correct?
If that's the case, here are my two cents.
Guys, well, from my experience, if a girl messes you up or you have a bad experience with them, that honestly (once again, in my opinion) sort of changes the way you see all girls. Just like if you get broken up with time and time again, you get used to it, everything become kinda' neutral.
Now, if she likes you, and you like her, or think she's fun, I'd say go for it. See how things work out, and then judge on how you feel in a few months. It really shouldn't hurt to try. Now, if you decide that you don't want to continue on in your relationship, it can change things. Things between you and this girl's friendship can go sour if it's not handled correctly.
So, if I read that right, that's my suggestion, give it a trial period, maybe even let her know, and just see how things go.
(Geez you guys respond so quick)
Sun May 26, 2013 1:45 am
Brax4 wrote:So, if I read that right, that's my suggestion, give it a trial period, maybe even let her know, and just see how things go.
This might be good, she knows what happened, so she should be able to understand or at least respect your apprehension.
Sun May 26, 2013 2:01 am
Her name doesn't exactly ring any bells for any of my school life, and I spent my baby years in Ohio. I guess we have that lost-lost-friend thing going for each other. Also, based on what she told me of her childhood, she wouldn't really stick out to me at that age.
Snatch pretty much changed the way I see people in general. She's fooled with pretty much every other guy me and Piplup know and she's been trying to fuck this awesome dude (Inkfox) regardless of him being 19, as well as, oh by the way, mostly gay. I never expected that of a girl. But hey, the more you know...
Doing the trial run thing sounds like a good idea. It might even help if it's outside the con. Scratch that, I need to date her out of the con anyway. It'd help the focus. I'd like to pursue a relationship with Piplup. She's just awesome, and I really like her. It's like a subtle click of like minds. I just don't get if my feelings are at that level yet, whether it's because of Snatch or my outlook on women or whatever the hell else.
Sun May 26, 2013 2:09 am
Ohio.. Ohio.. I know that place. I live there.
As I said before, it doesn't hurt to have a trial run. You met her at a Con you say? Does she live close to you? In my opinion, long distance relationships are really hard, even if it's just an hour or two.
Sun May 26, 2013 2:12 am
We know each other from school. Apparently she was the hypest shit last year. We got to know each other from a friend and we pretty much went to the con together since I was going anyway and she'd only go if she had someone to go with.
Sun May 26, 2013 4:31 am
Hypest? Anyways, she definitely seems worth a try.
At any rate, very few people ever feel their feelings get to some arbitrary state of readiness. When it comes to it, there's always going to be a plunge you'll have to take where you aren't sure what's going to happen. Maybe you won't be ready. Maybe it'll go bad. But maybe you'll find the love of your life. And taking the risk on finding that versus just having another ex-girlfriend in your history - well, that seems worth it.
Sun May 26, 2013 6:53 pm
That´s how life goes but never give up if you really want to get with someone just never give up and if you aren´t sure just give it a try and maybe it will end on a good way the both will like.
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