Stufflikehearts wrote:
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BIG OIL FOUND IN ALASKA BAY, SERIOUS MONEY$$$
POSTED: 10:34 p.m. EDT, September 5, 2006
WASHINGTON (AP) -- HUGE OIL FIND IN GULF OF MEXICO>> CLICK HERE FOR INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITY?? WE HAVE THE BIGGEST SELECTION OF OILS, BUT WE STILL CANT LOWER YOUR gAS PRICES? WE'LL NOT BEUNDERSOLD. WE WILL GET THIES BIG OIL NO MATTER WHAT. ITS OURS. THE OIL IS GOING TO BE IN OUR GRASP, FINALLY< AHHAHAH! THIS IS THE BEST, OH MY GOD, ,,I CANNOT WAIT TO USET HIS OIL.
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a man stung by wild stinger
australiasia- big flat shark, or ram shark, stinger chark or other marine creature attack man. the stingray was its name. it attacked bad, and wild, on the man, who was near it int he water. he was too close, unless it shot sting. it didnt though, it wasnt that kind of shark thing. so he was too close. the man is dead, he had a wife. there is a woman who was his wife, she has two childrne. they dont have a father. their father is dead. killed by wild stinger.
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Ancient text reveal magic, wonder
Cairo (AP) - A recent discovery in southeastern Egypt revealed a number of hieroglyphics depicting man carrying the sun, wolf headed men, and strange monsters. If these are any indication of what occurred in this region those many moons ago, this was a land filled with sorcerers that could control the sun and the sands themselves.
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There Are Mind Flayers in the City, No Matter What The Mayor Says
by Kim Wolf
City Streets - Midnight -- Ice cold tentacles reach round your face and pull you down a manhole in the sewer. Where did you go? You are paralyzed with fear. A black terror dawns as you realize you are in the mind flayers' hell. You are mind controlled and dragged through slime and grime. Your rigid body obeys no command. Your brain is screaming! You fall into a pit filled with other poor humans such as yourself, who thought they could oppose the Mayor. Hours later, they come for you. You feel the bite at the back of your head. The last thing you see before your brain is sucked out is the dirt floor. You grind your teeth and silently hope that in this life or the next, the Mayor will somehow be brought to justice for his unholy alliance with the mind flayers.
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Dog In The Wax Museum Is A Real Dog
by James Price
Downtown -- There's a little dog in the wax museum that looks like a fake dog, but I heard that it's a real dog that they trained to stand very still.
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HAUNTED HOUSE FILLED WITH GHOSTS
Washington City (AP) - A man used to live there. He lured his victims in with promises of free medical care. They called him The Blood Doctor. He killed them all with an axe. Three kids went in there last year, they never came out. They say that The Blood Doctor is only a legend, but he's real. Thirteen years ago, a little girl went missing. They called off the search after only one month. They wouldn't say so, but they knew The Blood Doctor did it. That was exactly thirteen years ago. I saw that little girl outside of the house this evening, and she looked like she hadn't aged a day. All of The Blood Doctor's victims become ghosts and haunt the house. Their sorrow for their bad deaths keeps them bound to this world. It was five years ago that some gangsters were in town, with a lot of money they stole. They had robbed a bank. They thought they could hide out in an old abandoned house...well, guess which house they picked. They say all that loot is hidden in there somewhere, but is it worth facing The Blood Doctor? Not on your life. You're crazy if you're thinking about going in there, but I won't try to stop you. There was the case of the young couple in love, looking for a private place to kiss each other. The Blood Doctor snuck up behind them and killed them during their passion. Their bodies were never found, not even a drop of blood. Once a year, at midnight, they walk through the ruined garden in the back yard holding hands. They are trapped there forever, just two more lost souls. That same fate could await you too. Don't go inside that house, at least not without Ghost Insurance. I could be tempted to sell you some, for a price...but better not to think of such things. No, I won't mention it again.
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Balloon Man Fills Sky With Balloons
Chicago (AP) - The white clown came into town about 9 AM. He had the power to make colorful balloons appear. He entertained a crowd until 12 pm when onlookers say the sky grew dark with balloons. The balloons blocked out the sun. A strange wind blew through the city streets as the balloons continued to spread. The white clown is alone in the middle of the road now, everyone else is hiding inside. Police say the clown has not responded to gunfire.
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Now We All Have Metal Skin
by Josef O.
Seattle - The world has changed and we all have become metal men. The National World Metal Men Conference is being held in New York this week to examine the consequences. We are heavy, and can no longer sleep in our beds. We sink in the ocean. Our air planes will not work. We no longer need to eat or drink.
"There is no explanation for this" says Carl East Man, leading biologist. "No one will ever know what happened or why."
We spend our days sitting outside. It is difficult to speak in our old languages. We cannot harm ourselves. Maybe it is no longer possible to die.
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tyco toys barred from competing in olympics games
village of greece (AP) - some say they are peoples. some say they are toys. whichever you choose, it has become clear what the olympic commitee has chosen. the committee has chosen that the tyco toys may not compete in the olympic games as it does not believe that living toys count as human beings
the tyco toys are in an outrage. they are threatening to steal all of thje batteries. will the olympic committee stand for such acts of terrorism? will the olympic games continue as planned? perhaps only time will tell
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Man BITE
Seattle, WA - He just came out o the Restaraunt. He was THROWN OUT by two waiters. He HAD BITTEN! ONe woman lies, PARALYZED, on the floor of the TEXAS ROAHOUse. HER NECK IS SWOLLEN AND HER ARM IS BLEEDIng. THE MAN SAID HE WAS A VAMPIRE. THE MAN HAD A PORTERHOUSe AND A BAKED POTATO FOR DINNER.
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Bleedcomics Staff Writer/Editor,
, and Keeper of the Jar Brain of Secret President.
RIP Ku Ku Ku \(-^.^-)/ U Wuz A REAL N***A!!!!!!!"We're quite aware of this. BR is no happy rainbow face man. He is simply our neighborhood best fucking poster." ~ WarbearPuff Most Epic.
