The Foam Dad Saga, arranged by BR.
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dad composes steel guitar symphony as a tribute to lesbain message while i'm home for christmas break ugh
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Dad won Floam for life. Mike O'malley dumped tubs of the stuff from a Nick GUTS truck. Those were the salad days, the Summer of Floam. Now I'm adult. Now all the Floam dried up. I just put dad in a home. Oh dad oh dad, if only you had had the guts for gak....
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is it normal? dad masturbates into biiig foam fingers that say "NUMBER ONE DAD" and leaves them all around the house
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Foam dad was brought into existence through unconventional means, so it is understandable that he was an unconventional sort of dad. His existence was based around the replenishing of his foamy contour so that he could continue to please mother.
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dad is a chef and recently gotten into molecular cooking. dinner has been foam for the past week. please help we are eating 90% air and starving.
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dad says hes going to take us out to dinner. jokes on us its foam night at the restaurant he picks.
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middle of post recital, foam dad stands + gives resounding ovation. other dads grumble, foam dad cries. foam dad claps. his hands start to peel, foam flesh flapping. a proud foam dad
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dad comes home from work obviously very tired and collapses into his memfoam mattress. his groan echoes all over the house and he sinks deeeper and deeper into the foam and now hes pretty much gone. the hole in his mattress must be 100 stone deep (estimate, im american) at this pt it's all black and i can't even see him down there in the foam. can barely hear the groan coming from down there anymore
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dads gone
dads gone
help daddy
the mattress shifts about corner after corner touching the floor, lwalks like a man, walks like dad did. semisentient foam bas relief of father figure is all we have now. moms already used the Well you certainly make a nice impression joke like 6 times now. help daddy
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The dad vet diagnosed him. There’s nothing we can do. We have to put dad down. He’s foaming at the mouth. He bit me and mom. He shit on the ground. I comb his long hair. His eyes meet mine. For a moment, he is lucid and calm. Good bye, foamy dad. I love you so much. Too much to let you stay.
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Everything changed when father summoned the foam to take him away. I was promoted by mother. Now I work at the firm to make sure our children are fed. Now I sleep in the big bed and tup mother when she tells me, to make more children. There are so many children now. Last night she woke me; I was tossing like I’d had an awful dream. I told her I could not remember. But I dreamt I was drowning. I dreamt of freedom. I dreamt of the foam.
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now dad is gone because the foam. the house is gone, the garden, mom. foam all foam. we homeless sibs linger in dark city arches fizzing, we bum in vein for some prolonging balm. we shuffle toeless as the fluffy foam dissolves our leprous frothskin. im down to nearly ribs, im only bones. ive seen my family scatter in the wind. listen to it hiss. see, were all foam in the end.
MANY YEARS LATER
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It was a dark and foamy night. Connelly stood at the edge of the night and he spat. His spit left a long trail as it clung to the dusty air and he wiped it from his chin. It was rude and he spit again. He needed to piss. Pissing hadn’t been the same since his daughter got took by the foam. What is America, I wonder, but a speck of dust ain’t nobody owns in an ocean of frothing, hostile foam. “It won’t be long,” he grunt, as the boxcar clacked along the dust red tracks into the blood red sun, kicking up dust as it clacked, “not long atall till I become a foam myself.” A hobo spat up dust.
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Bleedcomics Staff Writer/Editor,
, and Keeper of the Jar Brain of Secret President.
RIP Ku Ku Ku \(-^.^-)/ U Wuz A REAL N***A!!!!!!!"We're quite aware of this. BR is no happy rainbow face man. He is simply our neighborhood best fucking poster." ~ WarbearPuff Most Epic.
