Pie is a language spoken mainly by Canadians and Jamaicans. It is an extremely difficult language to learn, and as a result, only 37 people on Earth know how to speak it. It is impossible for anyone else to learn it, as the majority of the speakers are deaf and blind (a side effect of excessive Pie-speaking).
The language consists of words replaced by words with relevance to pie and all related things. Such as, "Pie crust, apple spoon warm", would roughly translate as "Pie is nice, I like it a lot." Some words have multiple English meanings, such as "pie" translating to pie, mandolin, and, sasquatch, hootenanny, fusilage, horsenfeffer and fandango.
This makes things very complicated, especially as instead of using punctuation, users scream loudly, and bite the other persons face when in friendly conversation. People who speak Pie are known as Pielons.
There is a special meaning for Pi. Depending on whether you say Pi (pi) or the number, Pi can mean Pi, but depending how far you carry out the number means different things. For example, 3 means Bottle Cap, 3.1 has no meaning, 3.14 means Bathroom, 3.141592015 means any flavor of cheese, and so forth.
34 of the 37 who could speak it have been dead for over 200 years, the most famous of which was helen Keller. The only 3 alive to today are Richard simpson, Richard Simpsons gay lover "Richard Simpson", and President George Dubbya Bush.
Added after 12 minutes:
I am currently studying it and trying to be the first to learn how to speak it in about a decade, some think it is impossibble, but I have already learned one sentance.
Pie butter apple core, 3.14 baking pan, gram cracker crust.
Which translates to "Pie is very nice with apples, I like to eat it, especially with the lights off."
Wah.....I losted my shoooooo...