Something Assholes

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Something Assholes

Postby ArugulaZ » Thu Jan 16, 2003 11:38 am

I'm not sure what the full story is behind Scott's forum going down, but one thing I can say with certainty is that the knuckle dragging readers of Something Awful (the web site that stopped being funny around the time the mastadon went extinct) are really overstepping their boundaries, attacking other web sites without any justification other than making themselves feel better about their tiny penises. Frankly, I'm sick of their bullying, and I'm sick of their cretinous leader Rich "I never met a joke I didn't beat into the ground" Kyanka encouraging them to commit these malicious acts. I sure as hell don't remember the readers of Seanbaby.com or X-Entertainment acting like this. Someone needs to teach these bastards a lesson... specifically, that it's all fun and games until the guy you pissed off blackens your eye.

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Postby Kris » Thu Jan 16, 2003 11:47 am

What.... like offering to cut off their before mentioned tiny penises unless they shut the hell up?

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Postby Can O Ninja Repellant » Thu Jan 16, 2003 12:47 pm

something aweful sucks, but seanbaby RULES. have any of you ever read through their superfriends or hostess pie sections?
It's like sunscreen for Ninjas
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Postby Can O Ninja Repellant » Thu Jan 16, 2003 1:39 pm

it's not like we talk about the comics here anyway, so why would comrade split up the forum?
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Postby Wildcard » Thu Jan 16, 2003 1:41 pm

We had the forums split up before the we decided against it to keep double posting threads out of existance.
[22:38] <DJ_Cyni-Cole> you're tell me, a writer, that books are lame?
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Postby Dave » Thu Jan 16, 2003 2:51 pm

Meh SA doesn't seem like such a big deal really. I mean sure they're fucking TWC up major right now but that shouldn't last over a week and then we'll all forget they ever existed. I mean the real problem is that there are fuck hole people on the planet and ruing their website won't change the fact the people are still there. It won't get rid of the problem it will just make them more pissy.

by the way ArugulaZ welcome to the boards man. hope you decide to stay. it's a pretty neato place.
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Postby ArugulaZ » Thu Jan 16, 2003 4:36 pm

I'll be around as long as Scott is. Possibly longer if I take a liking to the other comics represented on this forum.
By the way, you're right... having revenge on the little punks who did this is likely to start a vicious cycle which will benefit nobody. But damn it, I really, really want to do it. >.< >.@

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Postby Dave » Thu Jan 16, 2003 5:52 pm

Yeah totally understood.

Take a liking to the other comics huh. Have you seen Digital Purgitory and This Comic Sucks yet? holy cow their perfect. That's all I have to say.
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Postby Hapoppo » Thu Jan 16, 2003 7:24 pm

When I took a look at Something Aweful.com, all I really saw were knocks that read something like they were cut-and-pasted directly from Seanbaby's site, and then reviewed by million-buck-an-hour comedy nerds to make sure they hadn't a trace of funny left. Granted, every once again they'd hit a site that WAS stupid, and almost manage to pull something funny off, but in the end, things like the whole Snafu article seem valid until you do something they weren't quite expecting you to do, like read them.

Oh yes, allow me to give my most humble criticism on their Snafu review:
"I think all of the writers here at Something Awful are huge fans of Internet Web Comics! [Go!] They truly are one of the greatest things the net culture has to offer, and I enjoy reading one after another out of the thousands that exist to see how crude art can get and still make a coherent joke about hating the Xbox [See, hating the Xbox is all Snafu's about. If you go through the archive, you'll find that as many as SOME comics are about hating the thing, and you know you can't have ANY comics with opinions this guy disagrees with]. Essentially all of the web comics out there that aren't based on furries [See, furry fans are evil, because they don't want to have sex with people like the one writing this article.] are based on Penny Arcade's time tested formula of "Nintendo Rulez, Microsoft Drulez" [It's a known fact that the only way anyone could like Nintendo is if a popular webcomic bashes it! It has nothing to do with Metroid Prime, Mario Sunshine, Pikmin, and the list goes on...]. As most imitations are [See? He called Dave out! Because Dave's opinion is similar to PA's, he's obviously ripping 'em off.], Snafu is horrifyingly worse than Penny Arcade during its darkest days [Okay, let me point out that Penny Arcade's "darkest days" are like ten nights in a row with Dave's, Nix's, Smaug's, AND Wildcard's moms while winning the lottery each orgasm.]. I didn't do any scientific studies [I coulda sworn that phrase is completely ripped off from Seanbaby, mainly because it is, but in any case I definitely believe this guy.], but by my rough estimate some 99.5% of the comics at Snafu are either about hating the Xbox, Nintendo being awesome [IT'S A FUCKING VIDEO GAME COMIC BY A GUY THAT LIKES NINTENDO! It doesn't have to have phrases cut-and-pasted from seanbaby.com to be funny, not that you'd comprehend that theory.], or some random shit thrown together by a guest artist in a link-whoring exchange. [By the by, that averages out to about 33% of each one. And has it ever occurred to this guy that the fact that people WANT to whore off this comic means they think it's good enough to get them lots of hits?]

[Insert worst comic here to make it loom worse than it is, as well as a phrase that's probably easiest to make fun of]

Way to go Levar Burton [... Who?], I'm glad Harry Potter sent that Butterfly in the Sky flying past your face ["I sure do hope nobody notices the fact that that sentence makes NO FUCKING SENSE!"]. Also featured heavily on these "high quality" comics are themes like "Blink182 rules" and "Eminem sucks", as well as hot topics in which the comics so slavishly heap love on Nintendo [Don't you get it by now? YOU CAN'T HAVE AN OPINION, DAVE!!! GOD DAMMIT!] that I heard my monitor start making a dick sucking sound [Note: he would later come to find out that that was his own mouth.]. Seriously, what is the deal with web comics and hating the Xbox? ["Could it be... most people think the Xbox sucks? Nah... these guys' opinions are clearly the same as mine."] Is there some form they have to fill out to get a "shitty web comic license"? [THAT phrase certainly hasn't been done to death.] If they check "Likes Xbox," does a trap door open and drop them into a pit full of Koopa Troopas? [Wait... first we were on Xbox jokes, then we were on crappy webcomics, and now we suddenly shift back to Xbox jokes? Notice that no where does he mention that Xbox jokes are instantly considered crap.] Inquiring minds want to know! [AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! He concluded the review with "inquiring minds want to know! This guy is SO FUCKING FUNNY!!!!!]

So... yeah. Everyone else put in their two cents about this, so just figured I'd add my own while I remembered it.
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Postby Can O Ninja Repellant » Thu Jan 16, 2003 7:36 pm

Way to go Levar Burton [... Who?], I'm glad Harry Potter sent that Butterfly in the Sky flying past your face

levar burton (aka star trek the next generation's geordi laforge) was the host of "reading rainbow," a TV show designed to get kids interested in reading.

Could it be... most people think the Xbox sucks? Nah... these guys' opinions are clearly the same as mine

XBOX rulez!!!
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Postby Dave » Thu Jan 16, 2003 7:54 pm

Meh. Hapoppo I do appreciate the support though. and badfish that's fine for thinking SA is funny.

But to me SA is "jock humor" make fun of the kids that aren't sitting at the cool table to make them look cooler. It's a high school stunt and it's depressing that it exisits somewhere other than in Freshman year PE.

Except these people are geeks and freeks like everyone else which makes me think they have a severe case of jock envy deep down. Perhaps they just want to "share the love." they've all received in their life times.

So yeah in conclusion I don't hate SA people I honestly feel bad for them. I really do think they need someone to be nice to them for once.
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Postby Smaug » Thu Jan 16, 2003 8:02 pm

"But to me SA is "jock humor" make fun of the kids that aren't sitting at the cool table to make them look cooler"

that hurts dave. alot.
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Postby Dave » Thu Jan 16, 2003 8:05 pm

Oh I dont' doubt there are good people at SA. Well obviously if you like them theres proof right there that some SA people rock. I'm just thinking that the humor style they use attracts a lot of dumb shits. By a lot there really aren't that many (I have stats too and it wasn't that big of a deal.) just the few that are fucks do their best to advertise that they're fucks.

Oh and ArugulaZ the e-mail was a nice thought and all but your really giving him what he wants. a lot like Bobby Crosby feeds off of people hating his site. after awhile if negative attention is the only kind you can get you want it. Besides he now has your e-mail address and that can't be good.
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Postby Dave » Thu Jan 16, 2003 8:06 pm

Smaug you know what I mean and you KNOW it happens.
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Postby Shadow The Rat » Thu Jan 16, 2003 9:33 pm

I just read the Comedy Goldmine and Photoshop Fridays, really, the rest is quite dumb.

Plus you can't control your fans. Gabe and Tycho don't tell their readers to spam and try to fuck up the Movie Comics forums, but they do it anyway.
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Postby Smaug » Thu Jan 16, 2003 11:42 pm

fear nix. he can double post AND look like a hardass.

just kidding nix. i know you could have everything i ever owned shipped to some family in like russia where it will be burned for heat.
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Postby Nix » Thu Jan 16, 2003 11:47 pm

Dave, Wayne and I all agreed not to mod unless there was porn, but Halo is right, people have said far too much. I'm gonna clean this mess up.
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